


Long Live the King

by errizabesu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A Lot of Plot, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Back Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Violence, Non-Linear Narrative, Prince - Iwaizumi, Romance, Royal Guard - Oikawa, also Physician - Iwaizumi, everyone is in their mid or late 20s, not too graphic in my opinion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2018-12-07 00:31:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11612187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/errizabesu/pseuds/errizabesu
Summary: “Your kingdom is falling apart.”Iwaizumi always thought, if he ever had the chance to see Oikawa again, he would get a string of insults, angry remarks or degrading curses despite him being a member of the most powerful clan in their county. Either that or complete silence. After all, silence is often a person’s loudest scream. When their eyes meet, Iwaizumi realized he’s been underestimating how much he misses Oikawa. He realized how much he needs to feel Oikawa’s skin, to hold his body, to kiss his lips—and Iwaizumi would, if it wasn’t for the glimpse of hatred showing in Oikawa’s eyes.Of course Oikawa hates him. It’s been seven years since Iwaizumi walked out on him.Alternate Universe: early 19thcentury set in London and Edo (now known as Tokyo)





	1. A Familiar Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Characters** :
> 
>  _Iwaizumi Hajime_ – youngest son of the current shogun
> 
>  _Oikawa Tooru_ – master swordsman and master strategist. Son of the royal physician and Hajime's childhood friend
> 
>  _Iwaizumi Hideaki_ – eldest son of the current shogun and will succeed his father as the head of the Iwaizumi clan
> 
> other original characters will be introduced as the story progress
> 
>  
> 
> The storyline will go back and forth between the present time (1840) and flashbacks. I will put the time and place in bold to avoid confusion.

**London, 1840 / Hajime (27)**

The sun decided to come out of its hiding today and Hajime enjoyed every bit of it. He threw the last handful of dried rice he brought and watched as feral pigeons fight for the grains. Hajime leaned back and closed his eyes. The sun was also shining brightly when he first arrived in London seven years ago, it gave Hajime a false first impression because most of the times the city only has gray skies and constant rain–not that he complains though, he secretly loves the melancholy feel rain brings.

Hajime reopened his eyes and stood up from the bench. He lightly dusts his Chesterfield coat, repositions his hat, and grabs his briefcase. He barely took one step further when he noticed a set pair of eyes locked in his direction. Although Hajime is used to being stared at, thanks to his visibly Asian facial features, this one feels different.

And he is right.

Hajime turned his head a bit to the right and found a man standing silently only a few steps away from where he is. At first glance, Hajime would think the man is just another lad taking a walk around Trafalgar Square, enjoying the nice weather as he was previously doing–but no. Hajime’s eyes trailed the man’s figure from the foot to top and he held his breath as their eyes meet. A familiar face with a familiar pair of eyes, the only thing missing is the sweet smile that used to spread whenever they meet.

“Your kingdom is falling apart,” the young man said in a language Hajime hasn’t used in years, his mother language.

“Hello again,” Hajime responded with a faint smile, “Tooru.”

The said man, Oikawa Tooru, lowers his gaze.

“Honestly, these aren’t the first words I hoped to hear from you after all these years,” Hajime continued.

“Your presence is needed in Edo, your highness,” Tooru informed flat and very formally.

 _Your highness_. Hajime would have chuckled hearing the words if he wasn’t taken aback by the bittersweet memories.

Tooru, my dear Oikawa Tooru.

“I missed you too,” Hajime said, giving his best effort to push aside their shared history.

 

*

 

Funny how something Hajime has been struggling to suppress for the past seven years easily made its way back the moment he saw Oikawa standing right in front of him.

Oikawa had, like any other men in London, a linen shirt with lower standing collar, a cravat tied around his neck and knotted into a bow tie, a waistcoat with no collar, and a frockcoat. His light brown hair is left wavy and unruly, slightly styled to match his attire – a samurai chonmage topknot would be very out of place. Before this, Hajime always thought Oikawa looks best in his royal guard uniform and armor.

“I almost couldn’t recognize you,” Hajime added.

 _Lies_. Hajime can tell that face anywhere, any time.

“You look good, by the way,” Hajime complimented, although _good_ is an understatement on how to describe Oikawa’s physique. He never thought western fashion would suit Oikawa well.

“Clearly exhausted after a long journey and didn’t bother to rest before blending in and went searching for me,” Hajime said after observing Oikawa from head to toe. The new clothes did a splendid job hiding his fatigue but not well enough in the eyes of someone who has seen Oikawa in his best shape.

“So,” Hajime tilted his head a bit to the left, eyes never leaving Oikawa’s, “What could be so important that you just can’t wait another day to find me?”

“Your kingdom is falling apart,” Tooru repeated his words, “We need you back in Edo.”

Finally, Hajime lets out a mocking chuckle. "What happened to me being nothing more than dead weight to the reigning family? I was told that a lot while growing up, by my on father to make things worse. Now he wants _me_ back, hilarious."

Oikawa knew this would come up. He always knew Hajime’s animosity towards his own father, the thirteenth shogun of the Iwaizumi clan.

“Actually, your brother sent me,” Oikawa revealed and Hajime’s face changed drastically, “The shogun is gravely ill.”

“Can’t your father heal him? I was told he is the best physician in our land,” Hajime asked.

Oikawa shook his head, “No. This is something he’s never seen before.”

“Oh. That doesn't happen every day,” Hajime remarked as he heard the piece of information. But the bitter smile cease to disappear from his face, "Now that my dear father is in his death bed, suddenly the shogunate is supportive of me pursuing medicine. Shameless. By now you lot shouldn't be surprised if I wish for the current shogun to bite the dust."

Hajime was hoping for a counter-argument from Tooru, or a decent debate, but instead he watched Tooru’s shoulders drop and it’s always a sign that there's more to the story.

 

**Edo, 108 days earlier / Tooru (27)**

Eldest son and successor to the clan, Iwaizumi Hideaki, folds his arms in front of his chest as he watches the royal physician examine the shogun. The well-built man took a few steps across the room and stands beside Tendou Satori, the youngest member in the shogun’s council. A few steps to Tendou’s side stands Oikawa Tooru. There used to be ill talk of his rocketing career—he became a top rank imperial guard at a very young age and is trusted as the crown prince’s personal advisor the moment he transferred to military, but anyone who’s worked with Oikawa Tooru can confirm that he is worth his two master titles.

“I am afraid there is nothing more I can do, your highness,” the royal physician informed heavily.

“And yet the Shogun himself has appointed you royal physician, how is that acceptable?” Tendou’s voice is screeching and insulting, and it drew an irritated stare from Oikawa, the royal physician is after all his father.

“Tendou, please,” Hideaki called and slightly signaled Oikawa to step back, “I’m sure he has done everything in his power to help the king. After all, he has done a marvelous job keeping the royal family in good health all these years.”

“Until now,” Tendou hissed.

“It’s not like he’s intentionally trying to hurt the shogun,” Oikawa grits but stays in his place. Tendou turned his head so fast he might as well snapped his own neck and glared towards the imperial soldier. Oikawa gave the cocky court member a side smile, a rather challenging one that is. Tendou, infamous for his unpredictability, pushed Hideaki aside and barge towards Oikawa, forcing him up the wall with both his hands around the collar of his uniform. Oikawa grunted as his back hits the stone wall. It didn’t hurt, just caught him off guard.

“Oh, I don’t know, Oikawa-san, these are dangerous times. I’m sure you’ve heard of the recent attacks around our borders, the occasional uprisings – by the way good job handling the situation back there. Point is, pretty face, our kingdom is unstable and as far as I am concerned, we cannot be too cautious. There are lots of parties that would benefit from the shogun’s passing,” Tendou said dangerously slow.

“That’s enough,” Hideaki cuts off angrily as he pulls Tendou off Oikawa and pushes the two far from each other. Oikawa clears his throat and caught a glimpse of his father looking at him in worry.

Tendou shakes Hideaki’s hands off and gave him a displeased stare, “The council won’t be pleased to hear this.”

“I will personally address the royal council later. But for now, I’d like to have some time alone with my father if you don’t mind,” Hideaki said calmly as he looks straight in Tendou’s eyes.

Tendou scoffs and turned to exit the shogun’s chamber, the edge of his robe sway elegantly as he makes way. Oikawa caught the cue as well and turns to bow to Hideaki one last time before exiting.

“No, you can stay,” Hideaki said and followed by a confused stare from Oikawa. Nevertheless, he obliges. Iwaizumi Hideaki stood at the side of the room, giving him a clear view of his sick father, the court physician, and his trusted advisor.

“Please tell Tooru what you told me earlier,” Hideaki ordered the physician. This is a trait Oikawa likes from Hideaki. He is full of respect, no matter who he is facing. He starts his orders with please and ends his requests with thankyous, a trait he definitely didn’t inherit from his father.

The royal physician clears his throat and moved his attention towards his son, “I am afraid the shogun is not ill.”

“Father, that doesn’t make sense,” Oikawa murmurs. Even he, who never studied medicine, can tell the shogun is not well.

“I mean, he’s not sick,” he tried to emphasize. “This is intentional.”

“We believe he was poisoned,” Hideaki finished the physician’s words for him.

Oikawa held his breath and shared glances between Hideaki and his father.

“I am not sure what to make of this information.”

“Oh please, Tooru, you’re a master of both offense and defense. You’ve been sent to handle enough uprisings and went on missions across borders, don’t say you have no idea what is going on,” Hideaki said, fishing for Oikawa’s opinion. He knows Tooru is merely being cautious with his words, or maybe he’s in a state of denial with what they’re facing,

“Your highness—“

“Tooru,” Hideaki cuts off with his brows furrowed, “I asked you to stay as a friend, so can we please drop the formalities?”

Oikawa lowers his stance and it pleased Hideaki.

“You know your father dislikes whenever I address you informally, right?” Oikawa asked.

“Well he’s unconscious now, so his opinion doesn’t matter,” Hideaki said.

Oikawa laughed and shook his head.

“Boys, this isn’t the time to joke around,” the court physician reminded the two to get back to business.

“Sorry, sir,” Hideaki threw the physician a smile. From all the nobilities in the kingdom, Hideaki finds very few whom he is fond of—the Oikawas being one of them.

“You were saying, Tooru?”

“I think despite his audacity Tendou Satori is right,” Tooru shares his opinion, “These issues aren’t new to us. The kingdom is unstable, both externally and internally, now the shogun’s condition is taking a toll on our defenses. If your suspicions are indeed true—“

Tooru paused to glance at both his father and the crown prince, “That means someone is trying to overthrow the shogun.”

“Close enough,” his father unexpectedly corrected. “Not just the shogun, but the reigning family. The Iwaizumi clan.”

Oikawa didn’t understand completely what his father meant until Hajime elaborated, “Do you remember that little accident I met with on last week’s hunting trip?”

“I am aware,” Oikawa confirmed.

“Well, it wasn’t an accident,” Hideaki revealed.

“And it clearly wasn’t _little_ ,” the court physician added in slight protest.

“What is going on,” Oikawa murmurs, rather annoyed by the fact that he is lacking information, “And why don’t I know about this?”

Both Hideaki and the court physician shared unsure glances.

“Hideaki, I cannot do my job if I don’t know what I am dealing with,” Oikawa emphasized seriously before turning to face the court physician, “And how come you know more than I do, father?”

“Somebody had to treat the wound,” the court physician answered, “And that somebody found out that it was intentional, not accidental.”

“Your father helped me realize the real threat we are facing. I asked him to keep this matter confidential,” Hideaki steps in to take the blame, “Point is, Tooru, I was attacked.”

Hideaki paused to see the change in Oikawa’s eyes, “And the shogun poisoned. First the king then the crown prince, such… odd timing, don’t you think? It is as if someone is planning—“

“A rebellion,” Oikawa said under his breath.

“Or a coup d’état,” Hideaki added.

“You suspect another noble family involved?” Oikawa asked. While a rebellion starts from the people, a coup d’etat has a clear culprit behind it and it is usually another noble family aiming to take the throne by force.

“Tendou said we can’t be too cautious,” Hideaki said.

“He also said that cats are embodiments of the gods just so we would worship them like the people in Egypt used to do centuries ago,” Oikawa reminded Hideaki of the crazy ideas that often pop up in the council member’s head.

Hideaki lifts his finger to stop Oikawa from further making fun of Tendou, even though he is obviously holding down his laughter.

“This poison is nothing I have ever seen in my life, might as well come from a foreign land,” the court physician informed to prevent the two from bouncing off topic.

“Tooru,” Hideaki called now in a very serious voice tone, “I want to ask you a favor.”

“Anything, your highness,” Oikawa unconsciously addressed Hideaki formally.

“I need you to travel west,” Hideaki paused to anticipate change in Oikawa’s face, “And retrieve my brother.”

And Hideaki found what he was waiting for: the slight and barely recognizable change in Oikawa’s expression. It wasn’t always this way. Hideaki remember the times when a certain glow will appear in Oikawa’s eyes whenever the younger prince is mentioned.

 _Leave the country? At a time like this? I’m needed here_ —Oikawa would have answered if only a painfully familiar figure from the past wasn’t mentioned.

“Hajime,” Hideaki continued, “He is in London. I need you to find him and bring him back to Edo.”

“The state of our country’s defenses just took a free fall and you’re sending me of all people?” Oikawa says, not fully capable of hiding the shock and panic in his voice.

“Yes,” Hideaki says with confidence in contrast to Oikawa’s shaken stance. “I’ve thought this carefully and thoroughly.”

“You can’t be serious,” Oikawa said in whisper. He rubs his face with both palms and give it another protest, “There has to be another option.”

“You heard what your father said, the shogun's poison is not common. We need someone who can treat him,” Hideaki insisted.

“And you think he can?” Oikawa asks with a scoff.

“Hajime has been studying medicine for years now, so yes, I am sure he can,” Hideaki said surely.

“I fear this has a lot more to do than just finding a cure for the king,” Oikawa’s father broke his silence and soon enough both pair of eyes are pointed towards him, Oikawa’s filled with questions.

“Not only we need a foreign-educated physician to treat my father,” Hideaki’s words followed, “The Iwaizumi clan needs a rightful successor.”

Oikawa gulped an invisible lump in his throat.

“Don’t speak like that,” Oikawa said slightly irritated, “You are a rightful successor.”

“So is Hajime,” Hideaki said, “And if someone really is trying to overthrow the shogunate, we will need him around.”

Oikawa took a deep breath and rubbed both eyes with his right hand, “You won’t die that easily, Hideaki. I won’t let it.”

Finally, a smile in the midst of their conversation, “I know you wouldn’t. But I need you to get my brother regardless.”

“Hideaki, you’re forgetting one thing,” Oikawa mentioned seriously, “Hajime hates the shogun more than anything.”

The crown prince sighed heavily, “I know. But he can’t be that heartless to let our father die. I know my brother, he won’t do that.”

“Do you really,” Oikawa snaps, “Because once I thought I knew him as well, turns out I was wrong.”

Sometimes it’s the people we think we know best that we don’t know at all.

“Tooru, please. I can’t entrust this to anyone else,” Hideaki pleads, to think that the future shogun would beg him for anything, “You’re the only person who I trust with such matters and is capable enough to see this through.”

Hideaki drops the formal act and took a few steps closer to Oikawa. He gripped Oikawa’s shoulder and gave him the most serious stare he’s ever managed.

“Please, Tooru.”

Oikawa gritted, “Hideaki, you knew about—“ He paused and nervously glances to his father who can barely hear a word the two young men are exchanging. “About me and Hajime.”

Hideaki takes a heavy breath. He knew this would come up sooner rather than later and it is the biggest hindering factor to the mission. “Yes, I know.”

In return, Oikawa gave Hideaki an intense stare. “Please don’t do this to me,” Oikawa said very slowly under his breath. Oikawa is not one to mix personal and professional issues, but when it comes to Iwaizumi Hajime, it is hard to draw a fine line.

Both of them held their breath, minds occupied of the same issue.

“I know… I know I’m asking so much of you,” Hideaki says heavily. “Believe me, Tooru, I wouldn’t do this to you if I had other options.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted the story to take place between the early years of Queen Victoria’s reign (1840) and the beginning of the late Tokugawa shogunate (1853). There is a 13 years’ difference in history but let’s just pretend they happened at the same time (awkward laugh). The Tokugawa clan was a powerful family in Japan, having rose to power and ruled the country from 1603 until 1867. Shoguns are the military dictator of feudal Japan. The emperor has no political power, but he is the one who appoints the next Shogun. In this story, Iwaizumi’s family is based on the Tokugawa clan. His father is the 13th and current shogun in power (historically Tokugawa Iesada, whose reign marks the beginning of the Bakumatsu period. In case you want to look it up in Wikipedia ;))
> 
> I only do brief online researches for my stories, so pardon me for historical inaccuracies.


	2. A Different Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “He loves you, Tooru,” Hideaki assures.  
> “Oh and that’s supposed to automatically fix everything?” Oikawa would have yelled if they weren’t in his house. “You Iwaizumis keep using that word as if you know what it means.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to clarify some terms in this story.
> 
> Even though Hideaki and Hajime are referred as prince and their father is addressed as king, their family isn’t royal per se, but they are treated as such.
> 
> There is a **shogun** (Hideaki and Hajime’s father) and there is an **emperor**. To oversimplify things, in medieval Japan the emperor is legitimated by the Shinto religion. The  imperial family claims direct descent from the chief deity, Amaterasu, and according to the myths, ruler-ship over Japan is granted to the imperial family by the gods. The reigning emperor’s duties are largely ceremonial. On the other hand, shoguns hold the highest authority in the government (Shogunate). They’re military dictators and the title is theoretically not passed down. However, it is not uncommon that the position of shogun is held by a certain reigning family (this story is set during the Tokugawa shogunate era).
> 
>  **Tl;dr** this AU is set in medieval Japan, where the imperial family is a religious figure and the reigning family holds absolute power over the government. I keep referring the Iwaizumi clan as king/prince/royal because in some ways, they are, but not exactly like medieval Europe.
> 
> On a side note, I did intend this one to be an Arthurian AU/medieval Europe AU, but I decided against it because I’m a total Gintama trash.

**London, 1840 / Hajime (27)**

There are things you take for granted. A freshly brewed cup of tea and biscuits, for example. And there are some things, you always knew you missed, but underestimated how much. For Iwaizumi Hajime, it is having Oikawa’s company.

They sat across each other by the window overlooking Trafalgar Square, not Iwaizumi’s personal favorite but still in his top five list. It’s quieter inside, without the sound of horse shoes against stone pavements and squeaking wheels of carriages, but still close to watch the foreign world go by. It took Iwaizumi a good fifteen minutes to convince Oikawa to come with him and the latter only agreed because he doesn’t want to lose his target, but Iwaizumi couldn’t care less. Oikawa is here with him, that’s what matters—where their relationship now stands, Iwaizumi will deal with it later.

Oikawa’s hair is shorter than the last Iwaizumi remembers, now about the same length as any other young man in London. He never had traditionally long hair like older samurais and guards do, but his was still enough to tie into a knot as it is the official uniform for imperial guards. Any other time, Oikawa likes to set his light brown hair loose. It goes down to his chin when soaking in an onsen and it will naturally curl after it dries with the frills framing his face nicely. Oikawa has grown taller, he’s even standing a couple centimeters above Iwaizumi now. His height and well-trained yet slim figure is probably why Oikawa looks surprisingly stunning in his western outfit. His physique is more refined than last Iwaizumi saw him, but then again, it’s been seven years. His muscles are more defined but doesn’t make him look large or bulky, and Iwaizumi knows for sure Oikawa takes pride in having a tall-slender figure. It’s like he wants his opponents to think that he’s a delicate flower when in reality he is on his way to become one of the most skillful swordsman the country has ever seen.

Iwaizumi stole a glance and found Oikawa sitting stiff, his back straight and as far as possible from the table. His eyes are sharp, responsive at every motion that resembles sudden approach. It must be exhausting to constantly keep his guard up after a journey half way around the world, not to mention immediately continuing the mission without a single days’ rest, and Iwaizumi knows Oikawa is almost at his limit. Not that it shows, Oikawa has always been good at maintaining a strong front.

“How have you been?”

Iwaizumi heard a scoff but no answers followed. Ah, the silent treatment, sure he deserves it but it’s a bit childish remembering they’re both grown men in their twenties. Iwaizumi gathers the courage to face Oikawa. He saw past the strong front within an instant. Oikawa’s tired. His eyes losing focus every now and then and it visibly shows when he’s pushing himself to stay on guard.

“We’re in public, Tooru. It’s not like anyone will attack on broad daylight.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Oikawa insists.

“This is Trafalgar Square, by the way, it’s one of the most significant locations in this country,” Iwaizumi said, taking his chances instead of giving in to silence. “You came just in time. The square will be closed for construction in a couple months, they want to construct a monument and fountains somewhere over there.”

Iwaizumi pointed at a far end of the square. “I was a bit disappointed when news came out. This is my favorite place to spend my afternoons and if they redesign the square, it won’t look like the one we have back home anymore.”

Oikawa lifts his chin and steals a glance towards the square. He’s been focusing on finding the prince that he ignored the foreign architecture surrounding him. The square is lively, but not too packed that it still gives out a calming vibe. There are people making their way in absurd puffy clothing Oikawa has never seen before in his life and hats that are supposed to mark one’s social status. There are horses and carriages, nothing Oikawa has never heard of, but designed in a way that Oikawa is not familiar with.

“It doesn’t look like the one in Edo to begin with,” Oikawa notes simply, flat and straight to the point.

Iwaizumi laughs and pours more tea into his cup. Before sipping his piping fresh brew, he placed two biscuits on Oikawa’s empty saucer—probably this way he’ll eat something.

 “You’re needed in Edo.”

“I know, you said it five times already,” Iwaizumi dotes without prying his eyes off his cup.

“Oikawa, how have you been?” Iwaizumi repeats his question. He turns to look in Oikawa’s direction, who now in return faces away, acting like the lightly crowded Trafalgar Square is the most interesting view he’s seen. It may be, remembering this is the first time Oikawa steps out of their kingdom.

“I was doing fine until Hideaki-sama sent me on a mission to get you back inside the imperial castle walls,” Oikawa answers flatly, he finally decides to try the biscuits.

“Hideaki- _sama_ ,” Iwaizumi laughs. “You don’t really call him that way, do you? Don’t make me laugh.”

“I’m not trying to,” Oikawa’s indifference is starting to bug Iwaizumi. “He sent me, technically I’m on duty until I fulfil this mission. Therefore, I address him formally. How I call him in my free time is, however, none of your damn business, your highness.”

Oikawa throws a sharp glance over the tea cup covering half his face. An amused chuckle escaped Iwaizumi’s lips and he leans back his seat, arms folded across his chest. If anyone can dis and call him your highness at the same time, it has to be Oikawa Tooru.

“Goodness I missed you,” Iwaizumi says under his breath.

Oikawa puts his cup down and Iwaizumi cannot tell if Oikawa just heard what he said.

“To think that Hideaki sent you, of all people,” Iwaizumi notes. Oikawa felt a chill crawling up his spine. It felt eerie that Iwaizumi would have the exact same thought as he did back then. “Hideaki must have been desperate.”

Oikawa reluctantly replies, “He is walking on thin ice.”

That’s putting things lightly, remembering the threats the shogunate is currently facing.

 

**Edo, 105 days earlier / Tooru (27)**

Clutters from the kitchen, the sound of the front door open. Oikawa grumbled as he realized his mother didn’t properly shut the door to his room. His tired body has become one with his bed and Oikawa accepts the liveliness of his childhood house by pressing his face into his pillow. It didn’t work well though, because Oikawa can still hear gentle knocking from his door.

“I said I’m not hungry,” Oikawa says, or whines, with his face still buried under his pillow.

“Great,” a manly voice, obviously not his mother’s, is heard instead. Before Oikawa finishes untangling himself from his heap of blankets, he felt a strong pair of hands forcefully yanking him up. “Let’s talk.”

“Heavens, Hideaki,” Oikawa snaps, “Just because you’re future shogun and all, you can’t barge into my room like this.”

“It’s not barging in if you have permission,” Hideaki looks offended, “Your mother said it’s okay.”

“ _Of course_ she did,” Oikawa rolls his eyes and lets his back fall onto his bed again. With the pillow out of reach, he used both arms to cover his face.

Hideaki takes a minute to observe the room. It’s in its usual state, somewhat messy but still organized, and it confuses the crown prince. Oikawa is scheduled to depart in two days, isn’t he supposed to start packing? After a moment, Oikawa felt his bed sinking a few centimeters deeper as Hideaki sits himself, legs crossed, onto his bed.

“Tough day at work?” Hideaki asks.

“Brutal,” Oikawa answers. “Why can’t they go easy on me for once, I mean, I’m leaving in two days for crying out loud.”

Hideaki chuckles, “If they do, you’ll still complain regardless. Saying that they’re underestimating you and blah and blah—I know you, stop whining already.”

“You’re sending me to a foreign land, half way around the world, leaving behind the country I swore to protect at this crucial time and yet you have the audacity to tell me to stop whining?” Oikawa sits up and throws Hideaki a judgmental stare from top to bottom. “You’ll be a fine ruler.”

Hideaki raises his shoulders, casually. With both of them sitting up, legs crossed, facing each other, and Oikawa still maintaining his pissed expression, Hideaki is reminded of their childhood days. With Oikawa, and Hajime, being five years younger than he is, Hideaki is used to their childish antics—he just never thought those quirks were part of Oikawa’s personality and not just an age factor.

“How do you do it, really? It’s like there are two different people in you, one who is the royal guard and another who is just a whiny brat,” Hideaki shakes his head.

“Well for starters, unlike you, I’m a professional,” Oikawa answers and he earned a kick from Hideaki.

“You really are,” Hideaki soon agrees silently. “You even accepted the mission I gave you. Protested at first, but you obey regardless.”

“You said so yourself, I’m the only one you can trust this mission to,” Oikawa says, now facing away from Hideaki, “It’s not like I have any other choice.”

Oikawa eyes the disheveled corners of his room. He thought of packing but immediately realized that he won’t need much of his personal belongings. His royal armor is out of the question, seeing that carrying the shogunate crest will only bring trouble. Oikawa still needs to think of a way to carry his sword without making it obvious—or if he needs his sword at all, maybe a smaller sized dagger is more suitable for the trip.

“Ask me, Tooru, I know you want to.” The atmosphere turned sour as Hideaki voiced his words.

Oikawa bites his lower lip, still hesitant.

“Ask me why I know where Hajime is,” Hideaki insists.

“Do you really want to have this discussion, Hideaki?” Oikawa asks. “In two days I’m going on a mission I might not return from. Are you sure you want something like this to be the last conversation we share?”

Hideaki sighs, “You’re not going to die on this mission, Tooru. That’s against the reason why I sent you in the first place.”

“There are people trying to take down the shogunate. There has been murder attempts on the shogun and you. Are you sure I’m going to come back alive? Because if the rebels are smart, they’re going to try for Hajime as well,” Oikawa says. “And you know I’d rather die than fail my mission.”

Hideaki knows all too well. This is what makes Oikawa an efficient soldier, one that got him this far up the military ranks despite his youth, and what gives Oikawa’s parents, Hajime and himself, nightmares. It’s Oikawa’s worthless pride.

“Fine,” Hideaki unexpectedly says.

“Huh?” Oikawa isn’t sure how to react.

“Since you’re being stubborn, I’ll tell you anyways,” Hideaki sits up straight and throws Oikawa his undivided attention. He’s not in for Oikawa’s games today. “Hajime asked for my help, so I did.”

“Oh goodness, please don’t start,” Oikawa groans. Though he does notice something off from Hideaki’s statement: Hajime never liked his lineage. He disliked the shogunate and their lust for power for as long as Oikawa can remember. It was until one night when they were only 14 years old Hajime stormed into Tooru’s room, much like the way Hideaki just did, and declared his hatred for his family. Hajime is short tempered by default, but Tooru has never seen Hajime as upset as he was that day with his face flushed red, shoulders trebling in anger and eyes filled with rage as. Tooru never asked what happened, he never knew for certain. All Tooru knows, since then Hajime doesn’t see the shogun as his father any more, that he desperately tries to avoid his brother, and Hideaki, despite Hajime’s hostility, never once stopped trying to repair their familial relationship.

“Of course you did,” Oikawa says under his breath. Despite how Hajime antagonizes the crown prince, Hideaki will definitely be the kindest shogun ever appointed. It reminds Oikawa of Asahi, the royal swordsmith’s son—hands capable of killing but with a heart wise enough to know better. “You’d do anything to be on Hajime’s good side.”

“As difficult as it is for me to admit it, I can see why Hajime hates me—I understand even,” Hideaki pauses to take a deep breath. His words drew even more of Tooru’s curiosity. “But to think that he’d put his ego aside and ask for my help when he had nowhere else to go. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting that.”

What on earth did they do to make Hajime that angry, Oikawa wanted to ask. But Hideaki continues, “He told me everything and we came up with a plan.”

And what the hell did the shogun do to make Hajime and Hideaki think that their only option is running away.

“He told you everything,” Oikawa repeats in mockery.

Hideaki takes a deep breath, he gave Oikawa an apologetic look as he answers, “Yes.”

“When I asked you where he is, I remember you denying any information whatsoever. I remember you conducting a search party, a manhunt for weeks to chase Hajime—you’re telling me now that it was all an act?”

Having his sins presented in broad daylight, Hideaki swallowed an empty lump in his throat. “Yes.”

“Are you sure you still want me to go on this mission? Because I feel the slight urge to commit treachery and kill that bastard myself,” though his words are formulated like a joke, Hideaki lowkey worries that Oikawa meant it.

“He had reasons. Valid reasons,” Hideaki says. Oikawa doesn’t deny, whatever that reason is it must be groundbreaking that even Hideaki decides to play along—Oikawa just wished he knew what it was, for all he wanted was closure.

“He loves you, Tooru,” Hideaki assures.

 _What a joke_.

“Oh and that’s supposed to automatically fix everything?” Oikawa would have yelled if they weren’t in his house.

Noticing that Oikawa is being pushed towards his edge, Hideaki backs off. He observes every slight change in Oikawa’s face and he cannot pinpoint what Oikawa is thinking, that scares him for some reason.

“You Iwaizumis keep using that word as if you know what it means,” Oikawa hisses.

“All Hajime wanted is to keep you out of harm,” Hideaki tries again, slowly, “And so do I, which is why we cannot tell you anything.”

“Well, you both did a splendid job,” Oikawa says bitterly and with no intention to hide the sarcasm in his voice.

Oikawa can hear Hideaki’s deep, heavy breath as the words sink in. He’s surprised that he isn’t crying. Back then, he his heart clenched at the mere mention of Hajime’s name. He’d secretly cry at the emptiness, at the lack of explanation regarding the prince’s disappearance, upon remembering the times they spent together and the promises they shared which are now just sweet nothings.

 

**Edo, 1819 / Hajime (6)**

Hajime of the Iwaizumi clan. His given name means beginning, which is an odd choice considering he’s the last born child in the Iwaizumi main family. It was quite a discussion when it came up during his first kanji lesson, in which the teacher starts with the meanings of their names. Hajime remembers Oikawa not even trying to hide his confused facial expression, he’s a curious kid and Hajime is certain Oikawa will bring this up again at some point in the future. Their teacher ended the lesson by saying that a name is a gift and given with only good intentions. Whatever the consideration was, the teacher is certain that Hajime’s name holds a deeper meaning than its mere literal wording.

“You should ask your father when he’s not busy,” their sensei suggested. Hajime nodded, even though he knows it won’t answer any questions. His father didn’t name him, neither did his mother—it was his maternal grandmother.

“It’s not a mistake,” his grandmother said, “I put in lots of thought into that name.”

Hajime’s grandmother resides in the imperial palace in Kyou and she used to visit Edo regularly, now her health is taking her back.

“Do you not like it?” she asked. Not that Hajime is a bad name, it just seems to miss the point. Hideaki probably should have gotten the name, but their father granted him with one that means bright excellence instead—it’s incredibly fitting especially since Hideaki excels in all of his lessons, especially in martial arts.

“No! No, it’s not that—“ Hajime panicked, because the last thing he wants is to sadden his grandmother, one of the very few people he feels comfortable with in his own family.

The old lady laughs and affectionately pats the top of Hajime’s head. She lets Hajime crawl into her lap, while he’s still young enough to do so. Kids grow up fast, she’s aging, and as soon as Hajime’s old enough for sword and archery lessons, he might not want to be treated like a child anymore. That’s what happened to Hideaki, so his grandmother isn’t letting Hajime off her guard any time soon.

 “Is the shogunate the only thing that comes to your mind, Hajime-kun?” his grandmother asked. It was her who gave Hajime his name, and with patience, she shared the thoughts that brought her to the decision. “There is a whole different world across the ocean. There are other empires aside from our own. And you might not understand this now, but there are other beginnings you can take part in. Beginnings that has nothing to do with the family lineage you are born to.”

She wrapped him in her hug and it felt soothing, “Sweetheart, I named you Hajime in hopes that you will be the beginning of a brilliant chapter, regardless what you decide to do with your life.”

Even at six years old Hajime can feel the high hopes his grandmother placed into him with his name. Just like how the court, the shogunate and everyone in the country expects much from the reigning family. But there is no pressure in his grandmother’s expectations as opposed to the ones coming from the country and its people, and Hajime embraced it. In fact, knowing why his grandmother named him so, gave Hajime a sense of freedom to live his life the fullest.

“Tell me more about school,” she requested.

“Remember the boy I once told you about, Oba-sama?” Hajime asked. “The one who cried a lot when we started lessons last year?”

“The physician’s son?”

“Yes, him,” Hajime nods. “He’s weird. Just last year everything scared him even though we’re only at school. But now he’s already taking sword lessons.”

“So soon?” his grandmother asked in surprise. She finds it difficult picturing a six-year-old swinging a wooden sword in a class meant for boys at least ten years old.

Hajime nods in excitement, “He’s very good too! He might beat Hideaki-niisan one day. He really lives up his name.

“Really,” his grandmother chuckles, “What’s your friend’s name?”

“Tooru,” Hajime says.

But before Hajime can tell her the meaning of that name, his grandmother says, "To go through."

"Oba-sama you know everything!" Hajime gasps in amusement.

His grandmother laughs and ruffles her youngest grandchild's hair, “You probably can't remember, but I was here when Tooru was born. Oikawa-sensei told me his son's name.”

"It suits him," Hajime says slowly, timidly.

"I think so too," his grandmother says with a smile. "And together, the both of you are dauntless."

 


	3. A Crumbling Nation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “If I were to invade Japan, I’d start by getting rid of the Iwaizumis and make it look like my own countrymen did it. Weaken the military and crush the people’s support, two kills with one swing. That’s a good strategy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Original characters e.g. Hideaki will always be referred by their given name. Except for Iwaizumi’s father who will simply be called by his title (the shogun) and Oikawa’s father who is referred as Oikawa-sensei or just sensei
> 
> \- Important changes: Oikawa WAS head of the imperial royal guards (edited from chapter 1). I went through the story continuity again and found inconsistencies, so I edited some background information. I really should thoroughly work out my storylines before posting anything (hides face in shame)

 

**Edo, 103 days earlier / Tooru (27)**

Oikawa realized the true nature of his mission only when his mother hugged him the evening after their last family dinner. It was nothing out of the ordinary. Oikawa has been on numerous missions that require discretion, missions that force him to leave in the middle of the night and strip him off his imperial attributes to insure secrecy and before each mission, his mother would hug him goodbye before going to bed, knowing that her only son will be gone by morning. What’s out of the ordinary that evening is the one tear that rolled down her face. This mission is not only sudden but also the longest Oikawa is ever assigned to. A hundred days on ship and another hundred for the return trip, plus an undefined amount of time for Oikawa to find and convince the prince to return to Edo. That is, assuming they aren’t attacked along the way, or their vessel didn’t go down in storm.

After dinner Oikawa spent the last two hours before his departure drinking tea with the company of his father. Unlike other missions Oikawa was sent to, his father knows every detail of this one. He is now involved in diplomatic matters despite his expertise being human medicine. He knows what is at stake and how crucial his son’s success is. He also knows that something is troubling him—and it is not the mission itself.

“Tooru,” his father begins slowly. “I understand how important this mission is and that you’d put everything to succeed. But please, when possible, come back home. If not for me, then do it for your mother.”

The sadness in his father’s eyes clearly show and Oikawa cannot decide, whether it’s because of the nature of his mission or is it because this is the first time his father has a clear idea of what he really does.

“Old man,” Oikawa lightly punches his father’s upper arm. He ushers a smile in hopes that it will draw one on his father’s face. “I’m coming back for you too.”

But his attempts fail. His father’s expression grew heavier instead.

“Did something happen, son?” he continued carefully. This is not the kind of talk Oikawa wants to have with his father on his last hour before leaving. “You and the young prince were good friends.”

Oikawa couldn’t stop a bitter sarcastic smile from spreading on his lips, though he tried to hide it from his father.

“I know that his departure was difficult for you, both personally and professionally, but did something happen beforehand?” his father tried to find the gentlest way of approaching the issue. “I honestly thought you’d be more thrilled to have him back. Or at least relieved knowing that he’s safe.”

Oikawa empties his cup and still maintains silence.

“You were very worried back then—“

“Nothing happened,” Oikawa cuts off with his voice tone slightly, just slightly higher. “Hajime left the country. No notes, no goodbyes, no explanation. That’s just it.”

The most painful goodbyes are the ones left unsaid.

His father noticed the change of atmosphere, but with Tooru leaving in a matter of hours he needs to ask the questions he always wanted to ask. “And during the search party, you were summoned to the imperial castle. We didn’t hear from you for three days and you didn’t come home for a whole week.”

“I thought Hideaki sent someone to inform you that I won’t be coming home for a while that time,” Oikawa said in confusion.

“He did,” his father confirmed. “The crown prince came personally to tell us that you’ll be joining the search for Hajime-sama.”

Oikawa’s brows rose in surprise. “Whoa, he could have just sent someone.”

“Tooru,” his father called with seriousness sounding thick in his voice. He looks up to meet his son’s eyes and Oikawa found a glimpse of sadness in them. “You came back with barely healed wounds and you were obviously trying to hide them.”

Oikawa’s lips form a bitter smile. Of course, his physician father would see through it.

“Please tell me what happened,” he asked. “It pains me knowing that I take care of the reigning family’s well-being but neglect my own son.”

“I didn’t want to upset you,” Oikawa reaches for his father’s hands and grabs them tight. “But of course, I should have known better than trying to hide it from you.”

“You’re a hundred years too soon for that, son.”

Oikawa chuckles and deeply inhales before continuing.

“You remember that I was still a royal guard at the imperial palace back then. My main task is to ensure the safety of the shogun and the reigning family. However, shortly before the incident, I was sent to an escort mission. Apparently, there was an important diplomatic figure who needs protection returning to his own land. Hideaki-sama wanted a small group to keep it discreet and appointed me along with two others,” Oikawa pauses and looks away. His eyes show emptiness as he recalls those unpleasant memories. “When I returned, Hajime is already missing. With no note whatsoever, we had to assume the worst. One of the worst case scenarios we had in mind, is the involvement of a foreign nation. I was immediately called in to join the search party. During one of our investigations, my squad was attacked. To make things worse, we didn’t know who the perpetrator was. It could be foreign or domestic, either way it only shows how fragile our country’s defenses are both inside and out. We had to keep this a secret. Because even the slightest false move can be seen as a declaration of war, or trigger a full blown coup d’état.”

His father exhales deeply. “It’s not unusual that war and rebellion are purposely triggered. Humans are amusing in every sense of the word.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Oikawa says. “If you hadn’t found out about the assassination attempts, I would have kept this secret to my grave. I don’t want you involved in this political mess.”

“Hajime-sama left seven years ago. Does this mean, our borders have been fragile this whole time?”

“Yes,” Oikawa admits heavily. “It’s a miracle we held it up so far.”

His father leans back his seat with both hands clasped together and chin resting on top. Oikawa calls it his thinking-position and even though it originates from his own father, back then Oikawa often sees Hajime do the gesture instead. Like sensei like student.

“Then you must hurry back, Tooru,” his father finally breaks silence. “The crown prince is being handed too much and given your position in his team, your absence will hinder his performance and therefore risking the stability of this country even further.”

“I know,” Oikawa agrees slowly. “That is exactly why I am against this mission.”

Only half of his statement is true. Professionally, having Oikawa Tooru on guard at times like this gives them a better chance of controlling the situation. Personally, retrieving Iwaizumi Hajime is not exactly something Oikawa would do willingly.

 “Hideaki-sama cannot hold the fort and govern the country at the same time, he’s not ready for it yet,” his father continues his read on the situation. “And if things do turn out worse, he is inexperienced in actual war. We will need the current shogun for that.”

 _War_. The word is so familiar yet foreign at the same time. Oikawa has learned the theory, the philosophy, and the history of it. He has most plays embedded in his mind and he can use that knowledge to achieve his goal. But he’s never actually been in one, neither has Hideaki. They should be grateful they’re born in a time of peace in contrary to the generation above them. Sure, the tension with their neighboring countries still exist and there are the occasional uprisings but it is not comparable to an actual war, one that is looming over their heads unless they play their cards right. Moreover, Oikawa fears that the rebellion is only the tip of an iceberg.

Oikawa exhales heavily and nods. He admits his shortcomings, and as heavy as it is for Oikawa to accept, he will admit the shogun is the leader they would need if it comes to that. “Please watch over Hideaki while I’m gone. He tends to push himself too far at times.” But Oikawa will always believe that Hideki is going to surpass his father.

“Wow, that coming from you says a lot about the crown prince’s work ethics,” his father shakes his head. “You really are your mother’s son. Because you didn’t get this strong mentality from me.”

Oikawa chuckles at the compliment. He leans back to his seat. His father pours them another cup of tea, most likely Oikawa’s last as he’s leaving in an hour. Worry is written all over his father’s face, for both their country’s future and his son’s safety. So, Oikawa nudges his father again before grabbing his cup. He offers him an assuring smile, although at this point there is nothing Oikawa can do to ease his father’s heavy heart. After all, he just learned that the country is at the brink of falling apart.

 

**London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)**

“Oh wait a sec, let me get that for you.”

Iwaizumi hurries to Oikawa’s side and takes the coat from his hand. Rather excitedly, Iwaizumi holds the piece of clothing up and signals Oikawa with a nod. A confused stare is not what Iwaizumi expected from Oikawa, but that’s all he got.

“Um, this is the part where you turn around, put one arm in the coat and let me hold the other so you don’t have to flail your arm aimlessly to get the other armhole.”

Oikawa, still with an unimpressed look on his face, silently does as told. He did let out a small _oh_ afterwards, the coat is surprisingly easier to wear with a bit of help.

“Men don’t usually do this to each other, but hey, you’re my favorite exception,” Iwaizumi chuckles. Once Oikawa has his coat properly on, Iwaizumi lightly dusts the shoulder pads and turns Oikawa around to straighten the folds of the coat.

“There,” Iwaizumi says, pleased, “Very English.”

Oikawa looks away, not wanting to show reaction to the compliment. By now Iwaizumi knows the silent treatment Oikawa is putting on, which is ironic since his mission is to convince him to return to Edo.

“Let’s go,” Iwaizumi leads the way out of the tea house. The sun is still shining but signs of dusk is starting to appear. There are more people passing by the square than before and the sight reminds Oikawa of their hometown. Perhaps all capital cities are busy approaching the end of the day.

“Tell me more about this rebellion. I want to know what’s waiting for me back home,” Iwaizumi starts after they walked past the square.

“I am not discussing such matters in public,” Oikawa refuses.

“Oh,” Iwaizumi lets out a sarcastic laugh. “It’s _that_ bad, huh?”

Oikawa scoffs but still attempts to sync his steps with Iwaizumi’s.

“Alright then, if we’re not discussing national security, then let’s talk about you,” Iwaizumi says. And oh, how Oikawa regrets his poor decisions. “What’s Edo’s star swordsman doing these days?”

There was a time in their past when Oikawa was the talk of the capital city. Oikawa has always been one of the best and most promising student in their military-centered school. Aptitude and intellect aside, his dedication and work ethic is monstrous, if Iwaizumi can use such a hideous word to describe Oikawa's best feature. He wasn’t the most talented neither did he come from a family of renown swordsmen, but that ceased to stop him from reaching the top. Having the privilege of sharing a whole childhood together, Iwaizumi always knew Oikawa’s extremely good at what he does. He just never thought Oikawa's ability would earn him a master swordsman title at the young age of 17—even Hideaki didn’t get his that early. As if that wasn’t enough spotlight, Oikawa passed the examination for the imperial royal guards on his first try. If Oikawa wasn’t genuinely giddy when he shared the news, Iwaizumi would think that Oikawa is being Oikawa—his usual attention-seeking self.

That was the temporary end of Oikawa’s month-long fame. The imperial royal guard is an elite force entrusted with the safety and security of the imperial castle, the shogun and the reigning family. They only take in the most skilled, experienced, and in some cases, like Oikawa’s, the most promising soldiers. Oikawa got in despite his lack of experience. It was a tough start for him as he had to make up his short comings. Iwaizumi, who began intensive medical tutoring after school, witnessed the tears and blood Oikawa shed to maintain his position. His hard work paid off. It didn't take long until Oikawa was placed in the most crucial division, the one that protects the shogun and in mere three years Oikawa was chosen as the head of that division—and that’s the last Iwaizumi’s heard of Oikawa’s career, because four months later he left the country.

“I transferred to the main military,” Oikawa answers briefly.

“Oya, I thought you disliked the frequent expeditions in military which is why you opted for the imperial palace guard back then.”

Oikawa doesn’t admit it, but he is impressed that Iwaizumi remembers it all. “I changed my mind.”

“Which battalion?”

“Central first.”

“That’s Ushijima’s,” Iwaizumi notes.

“It is,” Oikawa’s words came as a surprise to Iwaizumi. “I’m his executive officer.”

“You hate him.”

“I still do,” Oikawa assures. Ushijima from Kyoto military school temporarily studied with Iwaizumi and Oikawa when his parents were working on a project in the capital city. In terms of abilities he was similar to Oikawa, although Iwaizumi would say Ushijima has more raw power whereas Oikawa has better technique, but in other ways they're very different—like their fighting style and personality. In contrast to Oikawa, Ushijima aimed for the main military from the start, saying that it offers more challenging tasks, unlike the imperial royal guards who concentrates on one sole goal. Oikawa’s irritation began when Ushijima (either intentionally or not; Iwaizumi believes the latter while Oikawa _swears_ it's the other) offended Oikawa by saying he’s pretty good for someone not coming from a famed swordsman family. That annoyance only gets worse as Ushijima kept reminding Oikawa how he would have profited more in the main military instead of the imperial guards.

“So then, who’s his chief strategist?” Iwaizumi asks.

It’s always an interesting topic to discuss within the military. Chief strategists, despite standing lower in ranks, is arguably the most important person in a battalion. Although the commander is the one who makes the call, it is the strategist who lay out the options and find possible solutions. They are the ones who orchestrate the defense or the attacks and in some cases, they are even granted more authority to control the battalion in actual battle.

“Semi Eita,” Oikawa answers. Then he quickly adds, “But seeing the way things develop, there is a good chance that Shirabu Kenjirou will take over. Semi is incredibly good, but he tends to take risks. We’re going to need indestructible defenses in central and focus the offensive plays around our borders.”

“No offence Oikawa, but you went from leading a division in the imperial palace royal guards to executive officer. Sure, you’re second in command at the military’s central battalion but it’s still a demotion.”

“Why do you care,” Oikawa says under his breath, but it was still audible to Iwaizumi’s well-trained ears.

Iwaizumi kept walking, purposely not telling Oikawa where they’re heading and secretly enjoying the nostalgic feel the afternoon walk brings. “Shame. You’d make a good strategist, Tooru. After all, you were mentored by the best the Iwaizumi clan ever had.”

 

**Edo, 1828 / Hajime, Tooru (15)**

“Ow, ow, ow ow ow—it hurts, you dumbass! You did something wrong, I’m telling you. I’m gonna kill you if I lose a limb!”

Oikawa probably shouldn’t even joke about killing the shogun’s son, yes, even the youngest son who is in bad terms with his father. Luckily, they’re in the courtyard within the imperial castle walls and Hajime’s two royal guards aren’t following his every move while inside castle grounds.

“For the last freaking time Trashykawa,” Hajime groans loudly. “Fixing a dislocated knee will hurt, you know the procedure already. And for goodness sake, stop being a big baby, you tore the skin under your jaw—so unless you want a nasty scar, I had to use disinfectants.”

“You could have at least done it gently, you brute,” Oikawa whines.

“Oh please, as if that would make a difference,” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “Man up or I’ll punch you!”

Despite the threat, Hajime tightens his hold on Oikawa’s arm while carefully shifting his other hand around Oikawa’s back. He takes smaller steps to accommodate Oikawa’s limping and when the other isn’t looking, Hajime steal glances to make sure that he’s only hurting the bare minimum. The cut on Oikawa’s face has stopped bleeding and at least that brought some relief.

“We should have waited until my father return,” Oikawa says, or more like whimpers in between his painful groans. Oikawa screwed a jump attack practice and landed awkwardly on his knee. To make things worse, two other students couldn’t stop their jumps in time to avoid Oikawa stumbling. They crashed and tumbled with Oikawa suffering the most as he grazed his jaw pretty bad during the fall and dislocated his knee.

“Well we could, but it’ll a waste of time because this much I can handle,” Hajime says. “Have a little faith, your father taught me himself.”

“My father I trust, you not so much.”

Hajime throws an annoyed look. “I’m going to let go and you can crawl back home yourself.”

Oikawa whines in response and clings his arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulder tighter.

“Such foul language, Hajime-kun,” a voice joined theirs and followed by another pair of arms, one taking Oikawa’s arm up while the other goes around Oikawa’s back for support. “No wonder you don’t have friends.”

The appearance earned the attention of both boys, even though they could identify the owner of the voice even without turning their face. Oikawa, being right beside, is immediately greeted by a warm smile on a familiar face.

“That was plain mean,” Hajime says with a frown. “Oneesan, you’ve been hanging out with this piece of trash way too much.”

Iwaizumi Hikari, eldest of the Iwaizumi siblings and the only daughter of the current shogun, grins at Hajime’s protest.

 “Doesn’t mean she’s not right,” Oikawa says.

“You’d gang up with anyone to make fun of me!” Hajime protests. He then stretches his neck to get a better look at his sister, “Why are you here?”

“Tooru-kun didn’t show up, so I thought something must have happened,” Hikari answers. “He’d never miss our afternoon tea without telling me beforehand.”

And by afternoon tea she meant private tutoring and discussion rounds on military strategies and battle tactics, sometimes even politic science and governmental issues.

It’s interesting to think about Oikawa Tooru’s relation to the Iwaizumi siblings. It started when Hajime, who has shown interest in medicine early on, is often found hanging around the Oikawa residence among the royal physician’s heap of books. Noticing the prince’s potential, Oikawa’s father offered to take Iwaizumi under his tutelage. It was a heated discussion since it’s tradition for men of the reining family to specialize in military and politics, but they managed to make it happen. Iwaizumi would even say his extra lessons with Oikawa-sensei is the best thing that’s happened to him in a while.

If Hajime got his extra tutoring from Tooru’s father, Tooru got his from Hajime’s siblings. Despite having very different interests as Hajime, his was in line with Crown Prince Hideaki. They were in the same intensive training group back when Hideaki still attended school and afterwards, they continue sparring each other on weekly basis. The princess came a bit later into the frame, to be exact, when Hajime and Tooru were about 13 years old—two months after Hajime’s officially under Oikawa-sensei’s tutelage.

Iwaizumi Hikari has facial features distinct of those from her younger brothers. Her skin is pale in contrast to Hajime and Hideaki’s tanned skin tone. Her hair is the same black color, but it has more volume and falls gracefully down in wavy curls when not tied up in a traditional hairstyle, as opposed to her brother’s short spikey style. While the men of the Iwaizumi clan have sharp, eagle-like eyes, Iwaizumi Hikari’s are round, wide and shows compassion more often than not. Hajime is always told that with each passing year she resembles their late mother more and more, in contrary to Hideaki and Hajime who inherited the shogun’s physical and facial features, but there is no way for Hajime to confirm it. He doesn’t have the slightest memory of his mother who died shortly after delivering him to this world.

Unlike her brothers, Hikari got private lessons instead of attending school. It was boring for some part, but on the other hand, Hikari is given the opportunity to choose subjects she’s really fond of: military strategy and politics. Having the privilege of living in the heart of their nation’s government, Hikari can gain access to documents and literature references many can only wish to achieve. That in combination with her intellect earned her an honorary membership in the shogun’s court. Her unique sense of strategies and mindset is similar to that of the shogun, but if there is one grave difference between them, it is their views on teaching political science. The shogun limits the wide-spread of such knowledge, believing that given to the wrong hands it will cause disaster, while Hikari believes that their nation need all the brilliant minds it can get. Which is why Hikari takes Tooru under her wing. Their weekly discussions are disguised as mere afternoon tea when Hikari is actually filling in Oikawa’s curious mind and giving him the change to develop his own sense of strategies.

The Iwaizumi clan must be a pool of premium genes, if Tooru can put it that way. The role of shogun, although isn’t passed down from father to child, has been a possession of the Iwaizumi clan for centuries now. Almost every member of the clan even the side family members are prominent figures in both government and trade, and not just because of the prestige the name brings. Just looking at the main family gives a clear view of what the clan is capable of: the eldest daughter is praised for her natural skills and intelligence in politic affairs and military science, the eldest son is a well-known swordsman among other martial arts he masters, and the youngest son is a promising physician’s apprentice.

“Oh, right,” Oikawa gasps in surprise, but the facial expression didn’t last long as another sarcastic remark escapes his lips, “Sorry, I was busy not dying.”

“Idiot,” Hajime growls. He turns to face his sister, “He’s fine, I patched him up.”

Hikari laughs, “Goodness Hajime, you’re already on your way fixing people. Now I’m even more in debt to the Oikawas.”

That is yet another reason for Hikari to share her knowledge with Tooru. She is well aware of her youngest brother’s interest and abilities in medicine and she knows, that ability of his is being nurtured and developed by the royal physician himself. She’d notice Hajime spending more time on his ‘extra’ medicine lessons compared to his subjects from school and she encouraged him to go for it, despite their father’s disapproval. It’s only been two years since Hajime first started tutoring with Oikawa-sensei and he’s shown mighty development. Hikari wants to give them something back in return and by mentoring Tooru, she found her chance.

“Save the praises of later, Hikari-sama, once we know my knee won’t fall off—OW!”

“That’s it,” Hajime suddenly let go of his hold and both Hikari and Tooru swayed forward at the sudden imbalance. Before either of them are given the chance to protest, because Hajime looks like he’s had enough and is abandoning them for real, he moves two steps forward and crouches with his knees bent. Hajime turns to throw Oikawa a displeased stare and they’ve known each other long enough to communicate without words.

“No,” Oikawa immediately says as he understands the gesture. “No, no, no Iwa-chan. Not in your wildest dreams.”

“You’re pissing me off and you’re taking too long,” Hajime grumbles. _And you’re obviously in too much pain_ , but Hajime left that one out. “Just get on with it!”

“I’m not letting you carry me!” Oikawa screeches. Injuring his knee and tearing his jaw is enough disgrace for a day, letting someone carry him home is showing too much helplessness for Oikawa’s pride to bear.

“Oneesan, a little help please?” Hajime signals, still maintaining position. Before Oikawa can even voice his confusion, he heard a cheerful yes coming from Hikari.

“Wha—what? No, no, stop!” Oikawa protests. But there is little to nothing he could do as Hikari purposely tipped Oikawa off his balance and easily brings him to Hajime’s back. The royal siblings share a victorious sneer before Hajime stands with Oikawa on his back and Oikawa had no other choice than to wrap his arms around Hajime’s shoulders.

“Now you’re a big baby in every sense of the word,” Hajime teases as he takes the first step forward. Oikawa must admit, Hajime is a lot stronger than he is credited for. Sure he’s not a weapons specialist like Hideaki or himself, but Hajime is attending military school after all and the reigning family has very high standards for their successors.

Oikawa frowns and slightly hides his face against Hajime’s neck. “Are you coming to my place, Hikari-sama? My mother’s been asking how you’ve been.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Tooru, I can’t. I have fitting appointment in less than an hour,” Hikari says apologetically. “Speaking of which, you too Hajime.”

There wasn’t a sarcastic remark or an angry scoff coming from Hajime and it can only mean one thing: it is something Hajime genuinely hates.

“Come on now, I’m going to need my brother to look dashing on my wedding day,” Hikari says lightly to avoid turning the atmosphere sour.

Hikari is engaged to their neighboring country’s emperor. They’re set to marry in a year and she’ll most likely move away after the wedding. It was the talk of the country when news first came, some even joked about having their hearts broken because the princess they adore is taken. But for Hajime, the heart break is not a joke. The wedding will not only take away his sister, it will also take away the person who raised him in place of their late mother.

 _Oh, Hideaki can take care of that by himself_ , Oikawa would have joked if he didn’t know how much the wedding irritates Hajime. Instead, Oikawa rests his chin onto Iwaizumi’s shoulder and flashes his mentor a smile, “But not _too_ dashing, what am I going to do if people start flocking all over him?”

 

**London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)**

“Those were casual discussions over afternoon tea.”

“Right,” Iwaizumi lazily agrees. He knows for certain Oikawa is merely trying to cut their conversation short.

They reached the end of the road and Iwaizumi waits for a chance to cross. He intended to finish some paperwork at the hospital after his afternoon stroll, but Oikawa’s appearance changed his plans. Even though Iwaizumi acts like it’s no big deal, it is. His outer composure is intact but his mind is a wreck with sudden memories from a past he fought hard to forget, to move on from. After all, he did leave believing that he’d never return to Edo ever again—or at least, not this soon and not when the father he detests is still ruling, and it pains Iwaizumi knowing that by then, he will be nothing more than a ghost of the past to the person he holds most dear.

“I’m going to the market to get groceries,” Iwaizumi informs without turning to face Oikawa. “There are traders from Asia there, which means they might understand our language.”

Approaching the next crossroad Iwaizumi shares Oikawa a glance, “Now is your last chance to tell me about the rebellion without risking anybody overhearing. I can take the long route to give you time, but I guess it won’t matter since you’ll follow me wherever I go anyways.”

Oikawa scoffs at the remark but at this point Iwaizumi is immune to his cold shoulder. They crossed the road and Iwaizumi leads the way to what seems like a park. It’s quieter compared to Trafalgar Square and offers more green space. Oikawa wonders if Iwaizumi is choosing this path on purpose.

“The reason I’m not Ushijima’s chief strategist is because I’m Hideaki’s.”

 _I’m Hideaki’s_. Although Iwaizumi completely understood what Oikawa meant—he’s Hideaki’s strategist—the phrase still rubs him the wrong way. It’s childish, really. It was childish eleven years ago, when Hideaki and Oikawa were a tad bit too close and touchy after a sparring match thus slapping some realization into Hajime regarding his feelings, and it’s childish now that he and Oikawa are not together anymore.

“He has a secret army to himself?” Iwaizumi asks, bundling his annoyance in the form of a mockery.

“More of a personal task force,” Oikawa says. “He’s not shogun yet but seeing the way circumstances shift, he immediately realized the need for him to be able to react to events independently. It’s brilliant of him, thinking two to three steps ahead. I’d say it’s even more efficient than the shogun’s own court since Hideaki handpicks his players and trusts them with his life. The shogun is set to follow certain governmental rules while Hideaki is not.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re in the task force,” Iwaizumi notes.

“Maybe, or maybe not. I can’t objectively rate because I’m in it myself, but neither can you because you’re not there.”

Ah, typical Oikawa, cunning in both words and action. Iwaizumi remembers an old trick Oikawa would occasionally use to win his sparring matches: he riles up his opponents and use the momentum to his advantage.

“What’s your specialization?” Iwaizumi asks, as if Oikawa’s comment never happened.

“We used to exclusively maintain borders, but in the last few years we oversee inland issues as well,” Oikawa answers, playing along Iwaizumi’s demeanor.

“Last few years,” Iwaizumi cannot hide his surprise this time, “When did this task force first started?”

“It’s been five years,” Oikawa answers and Iwaizumi immediately notes that it is two years after his departure. “I wasn’t there from the start. Hideaki is very picky with his pieces. I joined two years later.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi notes. “And I thought if there is a name that would first pop into Hideaki’s head it’ll be yours. Well, maybe Hikari too but she’s out of reach.”

“You’re right. He did ask for me immediately,” Oikawa answers with confidence. “But I wasn’t good enough back then. I told him he needs a master strategist and not just someone who was pretty good at school. But he refused other candidates, saying that he doesn’t have time to build the necessary amount of trust. So I told him to wait until I get my masters title, that way I can properly support his needs. It wasn’t easy, but I managed and more importantly, it was a good call. Hideaki is an excellent swordsman, good intuition and natural senses, but he doesn’t know how to choose his battles.”

Iwaizumi deliberately stops his steps. He stares at Oikawa with probably the dumbest awe-struck look he’s managed in a while, but Oikawa deserves the praise. A master of both offense and defense, all for the sake of his country. That amount of hard work, dedication and loyalty scares Iwaizumi. Oikawa stops his steps in response to Iwaizumi. He looks back with confusion at first, but then a tiny shine shows in his eyes as he saw the amazed look Iwaizumi has.

“I find it hard to believe that our country is in danger when it has people like you and Hideaki holding it up,” Iwaizumi says as he continues his walk.

However, Oikawa stays in his place thus widening the gap between them. “Because we’re being pressured inside and out.”

 Iwaizumi turns his back to fully face Oikawa and what he found is not the childhood friend, not the past lover, and not the brilliant classmate but a man fighting for his country.

“That’s my theory,” Oikawa says. He had enough time to think it through during his hundred days in sea. “Our only stable border is the west since we’re allies with the neighboring country. We keep getting reports of infiltration attempts on our southern border and our neighbors in the north aren’t making their lust for power a secret. Our country is small compared to the north and southern giants trying to annex us.”

A chuckle escapes Iwaizumi’s lips. He’d joke about the shogun pissing off their neighboring countries and getting them into this state but the look on Oikawa’s eyes is telling him not to.

“I think the upcoming rebellion is triggered by a foreign party in hopes that it will split the focus of our state military,” Oikawa says. “If I were to invade Japan, I’d start by getting rid of the Iwaizumis and make it look like my own countrymen did it. Weaken the military and crush the people’s support, two kills with one swing. That’s a good strategy.”

And oh, Oikawa is still inconsiderate with his choice of words and analogies.

“Wow,” is the only thing that Iwaizumi can come up with. The twists and turns of their country for the last seven years, summarized in a seventeen minute talk. “You know, I sometimes get news from foreign traders and from what I hear, it seems that everybody still fears the land of the rising sun.”

“Good. It’s intended so,” Oikawa says. “But we cannot hold this facade any longer. Which is why Hideaki sent me to get you back.”

“And where do I fit in, exactly?” Iwaizumi asks. “I’m not a soldier, not a tactician. My swordplay is rusty. You mentioned curing the shogun, which I can but probably won’t. Funny though, Hideaki knows how I feel about our father yet, he still asks for me specifically? What’s he hiding behind those sleeves?”

“Iwaizumi.” Hajime looks up to meet Oikawa’s eyes as he calls his name, or he thought Oikawa called his name.

“You’re an Iwaizumi,” Oikawa makes himself clear. “If things turn out for the worst, say, the shogun dies and Hideaki ascends the throne, he will have to appoint a successor early on.”

As stupid as it sounds, there are greedy nobles who would want to take down the current reigning family once they see the chance, regardless of the nation's situation. That is an outcome Hideaki and Oikawa are trying to avoid at all cost. They couldn't possibly face a war and a coup d'état at the same time.

“Me? Successor?” Iwaizumi laughs. “Among my siblings, I’m the least capable of commanding an army.”

“I told Hideaki that too,” Oikawa says and hearing it so casually from Tooru somehow pissed Iwaizumi off. “But what he had in mind, is to show our opponents that the reigning family, the heart of the nation still stands strong. Sure, any foreign educated physician can treat the shogun but none of them has the influence of a royal family member.”

“Hideaki came up with this?” Iwaizumi asks and lets out a mocking chuckle. “He’s sure starting to think like a shogun. Sly.”

“Even if he didn’t, I would come up with this strategy eventually,” Oikawa says, still in his serious voice tone. He realizes the reason why he didn’t come up with this sooner is because he’s subconsciously avoiding options with Hajime in it.

“We are running out of options and the shogun’s health is worsening by the day. I doubt we would survive a war in our current condition and it is only a matter of time until the enemy finds out. So please, come back to Edo.”

Hajime takes a deep breath. They have arrived at the end of the park and the market is visible within an approximately 5 minute walk. Instead of continuing, Hajime stops by an alley and turns to face Oikawa. He’s most likely considering his options and it will be a lie if Oikawa says he doesn’t have his hopes up. The way Hajime pauses their walk to avoid people overhearing them is enough sign to say that Hajime does care for his country, even just a tiny bit.

But that small fraction of hope shatters the moment Iwaizumi locks his eyes with Oikawa and gives his answer straightforwardly, “No.”

 

**Edo, 103 days earlier / Tooru (27)**

“You could have talked more, you know,” Hideaki’s voice pierced through the silent night. “I only came early to avoid suspicion.”

“If you wanted to avoid suspicion, you shouldn’t have come at all,” Oikawa points out. “Anyways it’s fine. We said our goodbyes, what’s left was an unpleasant topic.”

Hideaki steals a glance to his side, though still paying attention to the dim-lighted cobble-stone path ahead, “I assume, you briefed him of the current state of our country.”

“Yes, unwillingly,” Oikawa sighed, creating puffs of steam as he does. “I wanted to spare him of such burden, but he’s involved in national security the moment he discovered the shogun’s poisoning and that attempt on your life.”

Unlike him and Hideaki, his father is not a soldier. He’s never meant to worry about the security and stability of their nation’s borders.

“Hey Tooru, I was wondering,” Hideaki doesn’t seem sure whether he should voice the question he’s bearing, “Does sensei know about… you and Hajime?”

Oikawa paused and wondered himself, “I honestly don’t know.”

“I mean, we kept it a secret, obviously. I think you’re the only person we ever admitted it to,” Oikawa tries to remember. “But he’s my father after all. He’s attentive, to the point that I thought he could read my mind when I was little. On top of that he spent a lot of time tutoring Hajime. I’d say my father guessed but doesn’t know for certain.”

“If things were different, would you tell him?” Hideaki asked out of pure curiosity.

“What-if is a very dangerous phrase, Hideaki,” Oikawa answers instead.

Hideaki chose not to answer. They continue their path in silence with nothing more than the sound of bushes being blown by the chilling air. It’s uncomfortable.

“So,” Oikawa reopens conversation. “Who’s babysitting you while I’m gone?”

Hideaki throws an annoyed stare in response to Oikawa’s choice of words. The joke started way back when Oikawa was still in charge of guarding the shogun and the reigning family, Hideaki and Hajime included. Even though now Oikawa is in the main military force, he still brings it up for old time’s sake. Especially since Hideaki appointed him his personal advisor for defense strategies and battle tactics.

“For the mean time, I have Akaashi Keiji from the southern islands to analyze the situation. In two weeks Commander Kuroo is coming for the regular defense plan meeting and I’ll have him bring his chief strategist along. After hearing what they think of the situation in central and along our borders, I’m thinking of summoning Sugawara from the north-eastern fortress to fill in your seat for the time being,” Hideaki says. “I was told he’s a good observer and performs well under pressure.”

“He is,” Oikawa confirms. “Not the most offensive strategist in our military, but right now what you need is someone who can read the situation and plan way ahead. Besides, we need our offensive tacticians on high alert in every fort across our borders.”

Hideaki nods in agreement, “My thoughts exactly.”

“His commanding officer won’t be pleased though,” Oikawa adds. “Sawamura.”

Hideaki rises an eyebrow. As far as he’s concerned, Commander Sawamura of the north-eastern fort has a number of skillful tacticians under his direct command. Yamaguchi and Sugawara to name a few, and the one with the highest offense rate is Kageyama. They intentionally structured it so, since their north-eastern fort borders directly with a powerful nation three times larger than theirs.

“Didn’t you hear the rumors?”

“Well, unlike you, I’m not gossipy,” Hideaki rolls his eyes.

“Neither am I,” Oikawa feels the need to defend himself. “They’re just too obvious.”

“Then they’re not _too_ obvious, because I didn’t notice a thing,” Hideaki says. He turns to face Oikawa. “When it was my younger brother and the then-head of the imperial palace guard, I noticed right away.”

Oikawa’s facial expression grew stiff at the comment, and Hideaki saw it all.

“You know us personally, whereas Sawamura and Sugawara you only see twice a year at most. Of course you’d notice,” Oikawa reasoned. “Now can you _please_ stop bringing this up like a nosy neighborhood auntie? Seesh, you need a hobby.”

Hideaki chuckles at the comment.

The two continue their path in silence, accompanied by nothing more than the sound of wind brushing against leaves and bringing tree branches into motion. In fifteen minutes they arrived at their destination; the loading bay of Edo’s industrial port. Taking a passenger ship directly from Edo is too risky so they took another route using cargo ships to China and then transferring to the larger vessels heading to Europe. Hideaki is the one who came up with the travel route.

The port is poorly lit. It took both of them a while to get their eyes used. An unknown man signaled their arrival with a lantern. His sudden appearance caught Oikawa in alarm, guess he’s still subconsciously trying to protect the heir to the throne even though it’s not his main responsibility any more. Hideaki gestured the man a signal and he stopped his steps at the last corner before heading for the ships.

The crown prince stood in silence. His hands hold both Oikawa’s shoulders firmly as his eyes trail through the moonlight basking Oikawa’s face. Hideaki takes the hood of Oikawa’s cloak and pulls it over his head, covering the light brown locks and hiding the face of his childhood friend. Oikawa silently adjusts the hood, setting it in a comfortable position yet still providing him discretion. He looks back into Hideaki’s eyes and sees through the fort he’s been holding up. Oikawa sees through the crown prince, the next shogun, the acting commander of the imperial army and found the brother figure he’s been looking up to, eyes filled with worry and guilt.

“Take care, Tooru-chan.”

“It’s been almost 20 years since you last called me that,” Oikawa says in amusement. Hideaki stopped calling him with cutesy nicknames after Oikawa defeated him in a practice duel. He was 13 and Oikawa only 8 that time.

“I know I’m sending off one of the best swordsman in Edo and a countryman I solemnly trust, but it feels like I’m sending yet another younger brother far, far away.”

Now Oikawa gets how Hideaki came up with the alternative route so fast—he’s done it before.

“You’re such a softie,” Oikawa grabs Hideaki’s wrist and yanks them off his shoulder, “You’re the current head of the nation and we’re at the brink of war and rebellion, stop acting like a marshmallow.”

Hideaki sounds a protest but his facial expression softened.

“Yes, you are sending someone far away, but you forgot one thing,” Oikawa says firmly. “I’m not Hajime.”

Oikawa threw a sharp stare, one filled with determination, showing that the owner has a resolve to complete his given mission. “I’m coming back.”

The declaration, although promising, pierced Hideaki’s chest with guilt yet again. I’m coming back means more than just Oikawa’s promise to fulfil his mission. It is an implicit statement from Oikawa, saying that unlike a certain prince, he is not running away. In that moment Hideaki realized just how much Hajime’s departure hurt the lover he left behind.

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Hideaki says. “I promised him I’d keep you safe, but I—“

“Tell him yourself,” Oikawa refuses. “I’m bringing him back, so you tell him that yourself.”

 

**London, 1840 / Hajime (27)**

“You arrogant, childish, self-centered, egoistic bastard.”

Hearing a chain of degrading words shouldn’t make him happy, but Iwaizumi is. He really is because for the first time since Oikawa showed up, for the first time since Hajime left his home country, he saw a glimpse of the fiery, high-spirited man he grew up with.

“After hearing the situation of your country, you still—“

A smile unconsciously grew on Iwaizumi’s lips. Seven years ago he’d strangle Oikawa for using that annoying high-pitched voice tone of his but now, he’d kill to hear it.

“There are lives at stake! Innocent lives!” If they weren’t in a foreign country, Oikawa would already scream his lungs out. “Have you no sense of responsibility?”

Iwaizumi holds back his smile, seeing that it only fumes Oikawa more—he must have seen it as an insult. Iwaizumi folds his arms across his chest as he says, “I do, actually, just not for the responsibility that was forced on me just because of my last name.”

“Oh, the trademark I-hate-my-family talk by the one and only, Iwaizumi Hajime. Well, I guess some things just cease to change,” Oikawa says in a sarcastic voice Iwaizumi is no stranger with.

“I know it’s a century old excuse but you can’t tell me I’m wrong, Oikawa. How would you feel if Sensei forced you into medicine for the sake of the family name? Not all of us have a supporting, loving family,” Iwaizumi stays firm with his decision. They had this argument before, years ago when they were still in school. It’s common practice for noble families to stick to one expertise and Oikawa is one of the very few who doesn’t follow his father’s steps and even excels in what he does.

“Hideaki’s wrong about you,” Oikawa hisses. “You would let your own father die. I should have bet my money on it, I could at least return home filthy rich after failing this mission.”

Iwaizumi still chuckles at Oikawa’s remarks.

“My father has been dead to me for a long, long time,” Iwaizumi says. “When I face him, all I see is the shogun. A political figure, no more and no less.”

“Fine!” Oikawa angrily marks. He threw both hands in the air in frustration and stomps a couple steps closer towards Iwaizumi.

“Fine, forget the shogun! He’s not the one asking me to retrieve you. In fact, after your departure, he acted like you never existed. So, I’d say the hatred is mutual,” Oikawa spat. For someone who’s loyal to the country, Oikawa seems extremely pissed upon mentioning the head of the nation. “But what about your brother?”

Iwaizumi is caught by surprise. “What about Hideaki,” he mutters.

“You should have seen the look on his face the last few weeks before I left on this mission,” Oikawa says with his voice slightly toned down. “You have no idea what he’s going through.”

Of course Iwaizumi doesn’t, he’s been away for seven years.

“He’s currently filling in the shogun’s seat, you know? Far too soon and inexperienced,” Oikawa says heavily. “But he’s holding on. He didn’t ask to be a part of the reigning family either but he’s handling it way better than you are.”

 _Hideaki is the better Iwaizumi_ , Hajime had expected Oikawa to say. That’s what people’s been telling him all his life, as if he’s mere dead weight in the royal family. Half of him is used to it, although the other half is still bitter whenever he hears it. But despite facing a dead end, for some reason Oikawa didn’t say it. Hajime doesn’t know why, but he likes to think that Oikawa remembers their late night talks and knows how much the comparison irritates him.

“Hideaki’s different, he likes those military gimmicks,” Iwaizumi felt the need to defend himself.

“Yes, he does. But there is a huge difference between commanding an army and governing a country,” Oikawa says sharply.

That is not what Iwaizumi tends to believe. Both his siblings, Hideaki and Hikari, have always been more keen on governmental matters than he is. Hideaki excelled in military school and with his lineage he’ll definitely make it high up the ranks. Everybody always says Hikari resembles their mother, physically and personality-wise, but her natural talent in strategies and interest in politics is on-par with their father the shogun.

“Sure, Hideaki is good at what he does and he’s living up everyone’s expectations but have you ever asked him what he would do if he were given a choice?” Oikawa asks and from his voice tone, it’s like he’s genuinely asking. “I bet you’re so busy pitying yourself that you never take a moment to wonder that maybe, just maybe, Hideaki didn’t want any of this either.”

This is where the information gap between Iwaizumi and Oikawa plays its significant role. The brother Iwaizumi can talk about is the one from seven years ago. The brother who constantly awes the people, who was trusted with the nation’s future, who the shogun proudly announced as his son and successor—and Hideaki faced it all with a smile. How can Iwaizumi not think his brother is made for this?

 _Does he?_ Iwaizumi wanted to ask but Oikawa is right about him being selfish, because his ego prevented him from voicing the question.

“You go on and on about how the shogunate tries to control your life, but has it ever come up to your egoistic mind that Hideaki faces at least double the amount of pressure as you do? From all the Iwaizumi children, you’re the luckiest of all. You get to leave it all behind, you get to start over. And don’t you dare tell me that Hideaki didn’t help make it happen,” Oikawa continues.

Iwaizumi won’t argue with that. You can’t argue with blatant truth.

“I told you everything about our country, about the shogun’s poisoning, Hideaki’s assassination attempt, the tension surrounding our borders and the rebellion. They are the logical reasons to ask you to return to Edo. But every time Hideaki and I talk this mission through, I sense in his very words, the real reason he sent me is because he’s afraid someone is going to get to you,” Oikawa reveals. He holds his head up, eyes focusing to Iwaizumi’s and for a second, the exhaustion and traces of disappointment vanished from Oikawa’s facial expression. Oikawa unconsciously straightens his stance and Iwaizumi can see a Bowie knife tucked securely inside his coat, of course Oikawa would ditch his sword in favor of something more discreet. Even if Iwaizumi didn’t notice the weapon, Oikawa’s words were enough to emphasize the reason to his arrival, the reason why Oikawa is Hideaki’s only option: he needed someone he can trust, someone who can convince Hajime to return, and at the same time someone who has the ability to protect his younger brother.

Iwaizumi exhales heavily and finally turns his full attention to Oikawa.

“I don’t know what your feud is with Hideaki, but don’t you dare tell me he doesn’t care for you,” Oikawa says, his voice sounded more like a threat. “You’re the only royal family member not surrounded by guards or living within castle walls. Even after seven years, despite your petty behavior, Hideaki thought of you when things turn sour.”

“You care a lot about Hideaki,” Iwaizumi says, slightly unable to hide the jealousy thick in his voice. “If I didn’t know you two personally I’d get the wrong idea.”

That’s just it, Iwaizumi confirmed his own child-like behavior.

“Oh have no fear, Hideaki’s like a brother to me. Dating him is out of the equation,” Oikawa points out. “Besides, talking from personal experience, dating a royal family member is never a good idea. There’s the secrecy and not being able to go on proper dates, and at the end they’ll just leave you without having the decency to say why.”

Yeah, Oikawa is damn inconsiderate with his choice of words.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Introducing Iwaizumi Hikari! The eldest of the Iwaizumi main family and only daughter. She's 3 years older than Hideaki and 8 years older than Hajime and Tooru
> 
> \- I like to think that strategists are setters/pinch servers in the canon universe. They are a team's control tower after all


	4. A Falling Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “Those two men. They have been following us since we left Trafalgar Square.”

**London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)**

“Tooru—I’m sorry—“

“For _what_? Be specific,” Oikawa cuts Iwaizumi’s words short. He’s angry in a way Iwaizumi has never seen before.

For walking out on you, for leaving you in the dark. For not being able to spend the rest of my life with you, despite the promises we made and the plans we started to create. For taking your heart without the ability of keeping it safe.

For everything.

“For not being able to help you complete your mission,” Iwaizumi ends up answering. Oikawa is shaken, Iwaizumi can see that, and as much as he wants to apologize for all he’s done in the past, it will have to wait. If Oikawa’s story about the kingdom crumbling and there are people trying to overthrow the shogunate, they cannot both be out of focus—Oikawa already is.

“Why did you leave, Hajime?”

For the first time in seven years Iwaizumi heard Oikawa call him by his first name and oh, how he loves the way the syllables roll out of Oikawa’s tongue. Hajime, Hajime. Oikawa would use it sparingly, save it for intimate moments, for times when he wanted to emphasize that they’re lovers—or were. For any other occasion, there is always Iwa-chan.

“There are easier ways to break up, you know?” Oikawa then adds, snapping Iwaizumi off his nostalgia.

“That’s not—“ Iwaizumi chokes at his own words. _That’s not what I wanted_.

“Then why?!” Oikawa asks half yelling. He gained enough attention and curious stares by doing so. Oikawa seems to be aware of the extra pair of eyes aimed towards him. So he runs his hands across his face, takes a deep breath but all his efforts brings only little change to his spiraling composure.

“Did you ever love me?” Oikawa asks. His voice trebled, like he’s uncertain himself whether he wants to know or not. And Iwaizumi never thought that having Oikawa questioning the sincerity of their relationship would hurt this much.

**Edo, 1830 / Hajime, Tooru (17)**

Fear on Oikawa Tooru’s face is a rare sight. Not that he doesn’t feel fear; he does, that much Iwaizumi knows better than anyone. In fact, Oikawa cried a lot when they first started school. He’d cry every time his mother leaves and flinch whenever the teacher asks him to sit up straight. His first swords trial scared the living shit out of him, yet, his reflects alone drove him to swing forward, to defend himself and it eventually revealed great potential within him. Oikawa was still a scaredy-cat when he was assigned a higher-level training class as a result of his outstanding trials. The petrified look on his face when he was ushered away shows no sign that he will grow to be an important asset to the shogunate. So yes, Oikawa does feel fear, he’s just mastered the art of hiding it under layers of smug smirks.

“This is freaking me out.” There is only a handful of situations where Oikawa would admit his shortcomings. And there is even fewer occasions where Iwaizumi doesn’t take the opportunity to humiliate the living hell out of Oikawa. This is one of them.

They are in their last year in school and the final examination is approaching in weeks. There is no doubt Oikawa will pass with flying colors, but he has bigger fish to catch: the imperial royal guards preliminary tests. Iwaizumi is performing above average as well, which is impressive considering the amount of time he prefers spending under Oikawa-sensei’s tutelage. However, Hajime is only slightly above the standards set by the Shogun’s court for members of the reigning family. It’s unfair, really, even Oikawa admits it. But as to where they stand now, they are powerless against the court’s orders. Iwaizumi is less stubborn compared to Oikawa, but he still is, especially when the shogun threatened to forbid him from continuing his medicine lessons.

Which is most likely how they got stuck in this situation: Iwaizumi realizing he needs to work on his defense stance, forcing Oikawa to attack him with all his might, foolishly injuring himself after messing his technique, and now stuck in the school infirmary on a Saturday afternoon with no physician in charge and Oikawa’s father still in the middle of rounds at the imperial castle. Iwaizumi is knowledgeable enough to know what to do, but he cannot reach the wound near the base of his neck on his own thus forcing Oikawa, unfortunately the younger one and not the royal physician one, to get the job done.

Oikawa’s grasp felt harsh against Iwaizumi’s upper arm, any tighter and he’ll pierce Iwaizumi’s skin with his nails. His other hand holds a piece of cloth drenched in disinfectants. The dried blood and dirt surrounding Iwaizumi’s wound is already cleaned, leaving only those within the wound itself. It’s a new point of view for Oikawa as he’s usually the one having the wound. Only now Oikawa noticed how hideous torn skin filled with half dried blood and goop of dirt look.

“Thorough wipes, use pressure and work fast. Otherwise, you’ll push the dirt deeper into the wound and it’ll cause infection,” Iwaizumi repeats the procedure. Oikawa doesn’t respond, he only shoots panicky glares into the open wound.

“Don’t stop, no matter what I say. Understood?” Iwaizumi asks for affirmation. Finally, Oikawa shows signs of life. He turns his eyes towards Hajime and the fear is even more visible.

“I can’t do this,” he whispers.

“You’re too pretty to be this dumb,” Iwaizumi torts. One, he is kind of pissed with Oikawa’s off-behaviour and two, maybe if he acts like he usually does, Oikawa would feel less pressure. “The sooner you do it, the faster we’ll get it over with.”

Oikawa gasps in hesitant.

“You get this often, you know how it works,” Iwaizumi assures.

“Exactly,” Oikawa snaps. He takes a sharp inhale, “I get this often. I know how it hurts.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen. He wasn’t expecting that.

“I don’t—I don’t want to hurt you,” Oikawa declares, still shaky and terrified.

Iwaizumi is brought to silence. That’s what scaring Oikawa? The thought of him hurting Iwaizumi.

“I’ll _never_ hurt you,” Oikawa emphasizes, now with more confidence in his voice. The confidence that is typical Oikawa.

Iwaizumi chuckles. Although Oikawa can be a pain in his neck, especially with his tendency to make fun of him or test his patience, Iwaizumi knows Oikawa is good at heart. Oikawa would pull pranks at him, call him names, gang up with his siblings to tease him, but he would never intentionally hurt Hajime. In some ways Hajime always knew, because he felt the same towards Oikawa, but hearing it coming directly from Oikawa felt... pleasant.

“Look at me, hey, come on look at me,” Iwaizumi takes Oikawa’s trebling hand into his, squishing the damp cloth between them. Great, now they’re going to need a new set of gauze and disinfectants but that is less important at the moment.

“Yes, it will hurt,” Iwaizumi confirms and earning a whimper from Oikawa. “But you know, sometimes it’s necessary.”

“Sometimes it’s inevitable,” Iwaizumi tries to find the right words. “Sometimes, you’re given no other choice. Sometimes, in order to achieve grander purpose, you’ll hurt others or get hurt yourself along the way—sometimes both.”

Oikawa’s eyes shoot protesting glares.

“You’re a strategist, Tooru—“

“In training,” Oikawa cuts off and corrects.

“You’re a strategist,” Iwaizumi holds his opinion firm. “Surely you understand that concept.”

Oikawa lets out a protesting groan but Iwaizumi’s words reached his common sense alright.

“Focus on the grander purpose, Tooru.” Iwaizumi pauses to let the words sink in.

“I just—I really don’t like this, alright?” Oikawa stutters.

 _Don’t tell me the warrior is afraid of blood_ , Iwaizumi would have mocked if Oikawa isn’t genuinely shaken.

“I understand and it’s okay to be afraid. You’re going to be alright and so am I. Take your time to find that courage, I know you have it in you,” Iwaizumi says gently, mimicking the way Oikawa-sensei guided him years ago.

Oikawa takes a deep breath and attempts to regain his shattered composure. He prepared a new set of gauze by himself, that’s something, while continuously trying to build focus. Fortunately, just after Oikawa finished preparing the disinfectants, the door to the school infirmary swings open in a rush and the royal physician storms in with haste.

Both Oikawas let out a relieved exhale; Tooru for being spared of having to treat Iwaizumi’s wound and sensei for finding out that the prince’s injury isn’t as bad as he was told.

*

Oikawa-sensei leaves after making sure that the bandage is tight in place. He gave Tooru instructions to watch over infection symptoms while he returns to the imperial palace to arrange a carriage since Iwaizumi cannot ride on his horse with a wounded shoulder. After the painful procedure, the infirmary is silent once again, like how it was before Oikawa brought Iwaizumi there following their training accident.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Some peace and quiet would be nice.” Oikawa frowns at Iwaizumi’s answer, but he complies.

Through the corner of his half-lidded eyes, Iwaizumi watches Oikawa cleaning up used supplies. He puts away the antiseptic bottles and opens the window to let fresh air come in change of the iodine-rich smell of the infirmary.

The moment of silence got Iwaizumi thinking. He always knew disinfectants sting but necessary for treating wounds. Though he’s rarely hurt bad enough to need them, Oikawa on the other hand, needs them at least twice a week. Sometimes his father would do it, other times the physician at school, and in some occasions when neither are available, Hajime would take over—he’s gotten pretty good at it too. Oikawa would protest every single time he needs his wounds treated and Iwaizumi will always tell him to suck it up. He’d treat Oikawa’s wounds quickly, thoroughly, and ignoring the cries that came along the way because Iwaizumi believes it is necessary for Oikawa’s own good.

Remembering Oikawa’s hesitation early on gave Iwaizumi a different understanding of the situation. Oikawa is familiar with the treatment, with the sting disinfectants bring thus he was hesitant about letting Iwaizumi felt the same. As clingy and whiny Oikawa can get, he rarely lets emotion gets the best of him. To think that he’s the one who has the ability to wreck Oikawa’s composure brought slight guilt into Hajime for not being gentle enough whenever he’s cleaning Oikawa’s wounds.

So beneath all those shrugs and less than humble smug smiles, Oikawa Tooru has a kind heart after all.

“Don’t you have duel practice with Hideaki?” Iwaizumi asks the moment Oikawa returns to his seat.

“Oh, right,” Oikawa murmurs vaguely.

“I thought you had that winning strike you wanted to maintain.”

Oikawa shrugs and looks away, “It became boring after the first three wins.”

That’s Oikawanese for _I wanna stay here with you_.

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi mutters. But he must admit, Oikawa choosing him over Hideaki does make his heart skip a beat.

Oikawa gently runs the tip of his fingers along the bandage his father had wrapped onto Iwaizumi’s wound. It’s thick enough so that no traces of blood can soak through.

“Does it still hurt?” Oikawa asks in worry.

Iwaizumi shakes his head, “It stings a bit, but nothing unusual.”

“You should invent some kind of anti-pain liquid. We already have anti-infection stuff even though they smell horrible,” Oikawa suggest.

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind. Might as well start the research now so you can have it by the time you join the imperial royal guards—or military force, whatever you end up deciding.”

Oikawa smiles. “Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain?”

Iwaizumi cannot think of anything but before he is able to answer, Oikawa moves forward and lands a gentle kiss on Iwaizumi’s bandage. When he pulls back their faces are in line, close—probably the closest they’ve ever been in their lives.

“My mother, she uh, she used to do that when I was little,” Oikawa tries to explain his act of impulse. His face turns slight red in embarrassment and he mentally notes that he really should stop doing whatever the hell he wants to Hajime.

Iwaizumi wouldn’t know, he never met his mother.

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah?” Oikawa looks pleased. “Should I do it again?”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen in disbelief at the offer but he nods anyways. Oikawa lets out a shy smile and Iwaizumi never thought his childhood friend is able to pull off that innocent look. Oikawa carefully presses his lips onto the bandage while Iwaizumi tilts his head aside to give Oikawa space. If Iwaizumi hadn’t known Oikawa all his life this would be very, very weird. Oikawa landing soft kisses on his shoulder, near the base of Iwaizumi’s neck, and him feeling Oikawa’s breathing on his skin. Iwaizumi’s certain Oikawa wanted to soothe him, but all he’s doing is arousing and testing his patience even more.

Oikawa looks up and their eyes meet. Iwaizumi isn’t sure what kind of expression he’s wearing on his face now, but Oikawa’s is definitely showing one that makes Iwaizumi’s heart pound faster and his chest tighter. They stared into each other’s eyes in unison, both wondering how they got into this situation—how they let themselves go this far and silently enjoying the intimacy.

Iwaizumi recognized the loss of Oikawa’s touch and silently acknowledges the lust for more. He has long admitted to himself that he does have feelings for Oikawa in a _non_ -friendly way, but whether Oikawa shares the same sentiment is a mystery yet to be unravelled. Oikawa must have noticed the change of atmosphere too because he stops his gesture but his face is still close to Iwaizumi’s, still breaching his personal space.

Iwaizumi’s mind couldn’t stop wondering how Oikawa’s lips, the lips that felt wonderful against his shoulder, would feel pressing in between his own. Oikawa breathes out Iwaizumi’s name, _Hajime_ , and he stole a glance not so subtle in the direction of Iwaizumi’s lips. In response, Iwaizumi leans forward, slowly and cautiously. Oikawa hesitated for a split second, causing the bridge of their noses to brush. He bites his lower lip in uncertainty, or rather, in slight fear. Sure, they’ve known each other for as long as they could remember and they’re good friends none the less, but that doesn't make crossing the bridge from friends to lovers any less intimidating. Oikawa breathes heavily and mouths a very low _‘Are you sure?'_ as they share the same air. Iwaizumi takes Oikawa’s chin with one hand and brushes his thumb in hopes it will give him a sense of security. Oikawa closes his eyes and in turn, moves forward to continue what Iwaizumi initiated, to take that leap of faith.

It will be a lie if Iwaizumi says he never wondered whether Oikawa’s lips are as soft as they look. They are; curiosity answered. However, the softness isn’t the first thing Iwaizumi noticed, neither is it the form that seems to fit his perfectly nor the low hum that escaped Oikawa’s throat upon contact. The first thing Iwaizumi Hajime’s mind registers upon kissing Oikawa Tooru, is the feeling that filled his chest afterwards.

It felt right.

 

**London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)**

“Did you ever love me?”

 _I do, Tooru, oh dear god I swear to you, I really do_. But Iwaizumi knows no matter what he says, Oikawa has no reason to believe him. Not when his past actions show nothing but the exact opposite.

“Or were you just settling with the easiest option available?”

Now that comment was uncalled for. “If I wanted easy, I’d have someone brought over from Yoshiwara.”

“Classy,” Oikawa says under his breath in mockery.

“Tooru, listen—“, abruptly Iwaizumi runs his hand over his face and exhales heavily. “We’ll have this discussion later. Listen to me—“

“Why?” Oikawa raises his voice yet again. “Why should I? _You’re_ not listening to me!”

Iwaizumi steps closer towards Oikawa, closing in the gap between them. He stops only when he’s a step away from Oikawa and he’s able to lower his voice into an almost whisper. “Because there are two men—on your right, they’re standing by the crossing section behind me.”

The speed in which Oikawa swifts from a heartbroken mess to a fully functioning soldier of Edo is terrifyingly fast. He looks to the direction Iwaizumi hinted without moving his head and found the people that gained Iwaizumi’s suspicion.

“They’ve been following us since we left Trafalgar Square,” Iwaizumi informs grimly.

 

**Edo, 1831 / Hideaki (23)**

At first glance, the residential section of the imperial palace is a lonely place to live. It has at least four master bedrooms and more than enough guest rooms. The dining area is large and wide. There is a saloon, a common room, and rooms that can be used as personal studies. There is a wine cellar at the basement and a servant’s quarters. It is surrounded by well-tended gardens and it is a good 10 minute walk (yes, Hideaki counted himself) to the palace’s governmental section. It was designed to accommodate a large family but with the queen’s passing years ago and Hikari’s marriage, the residential area felt too big for just Hideaki and Hajime.

But Hideaki won’t call it lonely, instead, he prefers calling it spacey.

The castle has enough space for him and Hikari to run around without disturbing their busy father or their resting mother. Hideaki remembers exploring every corner of it with Hikari when they were younger. He remembers skipping through the halls with a handful of wildflowers he picked to cheer up his mother when she was going through a tough pregnancy. Sometimes he’ll ask a maid to help him make warm milk and honey for his mother, and he will never forget the smile that spreads on her face as she thanks him and tells him that the little brother in her tummy is thanking him as well.

The day Hajime arrived, his mother departed. At 5 years old it was too much for Hideki to process, but shielding him from bitter reality is near impossible to do. A senior butler of the household was given the task of explaining the situation to the siblings and Hideaki could only pretend to understand and sometimes ask a maid if he’s _really_ never going to see mother again. She’s gone forever, everybody tells him. But forever is a very long time, no? Hikari cried though, she’s older, so she must have understood more. For once, Hideaki felt the palace being a cold, empty space.

The next week, his grandmother came from Kyoto to live with them. She didn’t say it was permanent, but she assured Hideaki that it’ll be long enough so he shouldn’t worry. Hikari still won’t play with him. Instead, she’d accompany their grandmother and looks after her new baby brother. Hideaki was bored, but with no other option he joined them and he’ll often fall asleep with his head resting on his grandmother’s lap. It took a while, but the palace eventually became full of life again. In fact, there are more people than before. Their grandmother came with two of her own servants, so that’s more people for Hideaki to greet, and Oikawa-sensei came to visit more often as well. Sensei once tried to explain that he needed to take extra care of the baby to make sure that the complications during delivery won’t affect his growth. Again, Hideaki can only pretend to understand. However, he did understand when Sensei said, “Hajime-sama is very lucky, he has Hideaki-sama and Hikari-sama looking over him. Tooru doesn’t have siblings, I wonder if he gets lonely.”

That was the first time Hideaki heard Tooru’s name and it was the beginning of the many more times he’s going to hear it. Back then, he often hears it from Sensei. Oikawa-sensei would come every couple days and his grandmother will always ask how Tooru’s doing. They’re born only 5 weeks apart, comparing their growth is inevitable. From what Hideaki overheard, Hajime is more physically active while Tooru blabbers a lot. Hajime likes to focus on one certain thing while Tooru is easily distracted. Hajime doesn’t trust new people easily while Tooru will get along with anyone who can get his attention. However, the biggest difference between them, as Hideaki sees, is the father that nurtures them. Oikawa-sensei would often tell stories about having to stay up all night because Tooru’s having slight fever, or the time he took Tooru to town with him, or the way Tooru squeals when he returns home. Hideaki is not familiar with that kind of gesture, and neither is Hajime.

It’s almost impossible hearing anyone mention Hajime’s name without followed by Tooru’s. That’s the way things are from the start and that’s how things still are. After starting school the boys became friends. They don’t always get along; Hajime would find Tooru annoying at times while Tooru thinks that Hajime is too grumpy, but most of the times they do. Hikari loved watching them try figuring out their kanji homework and Hideaki was the one who showed them how to properly swing a wooden sword. They’d often play around the castle gardens after school but as they grow older, Hajime would start hanging out at the Oikawa residence for a change. That’s when Hideaki noticed the residential area of the imperial palace being slightly too spacey, once again.

Things happened, circumstances shift, people come and go. At 23 years old, Hideaki often feels like he’s the only one tied to this side of the castle. His mother passed away, his father was never really there to begin with, his grandmother first moved back to Kyoto and passed away a few years back, Oikawa-sensei has no need to visit as often anymore, his sister moved out following her marriage and Hajime distanced himself from him. Hajime is focused on his medicine studies after school and Tooru got in the imperial royal guards, Hideaki kind of missed seeing the two rascals running around. But growing up is understandable and change is inevitable.

If walls could tell stories, this castle would tell the tale of Hajime and Tooru growing up side by side. It would share the story of their intertwined childhood, of their friendship and how it slowly turned into something more.

Hideaki is so used to having Tooru around that he wasn’t even surprised when he saw the newly recruited imperial guard standing by the main entrance. It did strike him as odd the moment Hideaki realized that it’s at the break of dawn, even the sun hasn’t come up. Tooru kept the lights off, having only the moonbeam from the wide windows helping his sight. Tooru is already in his imperial guard uniform and Hideaki wonders why. First of all, imperial guards aren’t stationed within the residential area; so inside these walls, Oikawa Tooru is just Oikawa Tooru. And second, Hideaki knows the imperial guard’s patrol schedule by heart and he is certain that there is still a couple hours before shift change. Hideaki doesn’t usually get up at this ungodly hour, but a court hearing scheduled first thing in the morning gave him enough reason to get out of bed and work on preparations. His intentions remained intentions the moment Hideaki realized that Tooru isn’t _already_ in his uniform, but rather _still_ in it.

Another figure arrived in Hideaki’s visual range; a young man in his late teenage years, bed hair, robe untied with the end swinging with the simplest move—his only brother. Hajime rushed to Tooru while keeping his rapid steps as discreet as possible. He held what looks like a folded cloak in his hands. Oh, it is. Hajime unfolds the piece of clothing and wraps it over Tooru. Hideaki lightly chuckles seeing their height difference. He’s shorter than Tooru too but at least he’s standing a few centimetres above Hajime.

Tooru then opens the door, ever so slightly but enough to let a line of light coming in. Hajime ties the cloak strings around Tooru’s neck and Tooru mouthed a thank you. Hideaki can only see glimpses of Tooru’s face but he cannot make sense of it, too far and too dim. Turns out Hideaki didn’t have to see Hajime’s face to know what’s going on. The following second, Hajime pulls the edge of the cloak down and caught Oikawa’s lips with his.

 _I knew it,_ was the first thing that came to Hideaki’s mind.

The revelation at dawn served as an eye opener to Hideaki. To some extent he always knew Hajime and Tooru are more than friends, he just unconsciously forgot the possibilities of them actually being together. Everything became clear all of a sudden. The glances thrown across the room, the subtle pats on the back, the small smile that blooms whenever they walk past each other to name a few gestures Hideaki caught. Suddenly, Hideaki found the answer to all the nights Hajime kept the doors to his room locked. It solved the mystery of the occasional sound of two pair of feet heading to exit the quarters early in the morning whenever Hideaki’s pulling an all-nighter at the common room.

From what Hideaki can see, Tooru doesn’t seem surprised—they must have done this quite often. Instead, he smiles into the kiss. Tooru welcomes the gesture and held the back of Hajime’s neck as he pushes forward, as if challenging Hajime to keep up with him. Hideaki immediately slips back into his room and closes the door as silent as possible. He saw enough, any more and he'll feel guilty of intruding his brother’s privacy. After all, he’s lost plenty of Hajime’s trust already, he would want to keep whatever that is left.

 

**London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)**

They started with normal walking, which in time became rushed steps. Iwaizumi leads the way as they go through the market and then out again. The two men’s approach became less and less subtle until both Oikawa and Iwaizumi agree at some point that they must make a run for it.

“Come on Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi marks in between his heavy panting, loud enough for Oikawa to hear while keeping his voice as low as possible not to give out their situation to their pursuers. “You can’t get tired now, you’re my knight in shining armour.”

Oikawa takes a harsh, audible inhale through his teeth and runs faster to catch up.

“Aren’t you here to rescue me?” Iwaizumi adds. He would have added a sense of playfulness if they weren’t being chased by presumably highly trained assassins.

Oikawa’s falling behind is very reasonable. He’s most likely sleep deprived and there’s no telling when the last he’s properly eaten. He carries a heavy mental burden, upset and is now running for his life. But Iwaizumi needed to push Oikawa to keep up—also he wanted to call him names, for old time’s sake.

“Unfortunately,” Oikawa pants. He just won’t stop reminding Iwaizumi that he’s not here by choice.

“Do you have another weapon for me?”

“No,” Oikawa answers. He paces his steps and is now running beside Iwaizumi. “I’m not even carrying a proper weapon for myself.”

Ah, Iwaizumi remembers, the only ‘proper weapon’ in Oikawa’s definition is his custom-made hand-tempered katana.

“Lend me your side knife,” Iwaizumi says.

“What?” Oikawa snaps.

“I said, lend me your side knife!” Iwaizumi repeats. He knows for a fact Oikawa always carry a small hand knife, hidden securely within his clothing regardless whatever weapon he’s wielding. To slit my wrists in case the enemy gets me, Oikawa once said. It may not be as honourable as seppuku but it gets the job done.

“No, I heard you said side knife. But it’s not like it’ll do you any good.”

This show off be damned.

“What the hell Oikawa, I went to military school too,” Iwaizumi almost yelled. _Almost_. He’s starting to lose breath as well.

Then Iwaizumi spots an alley in the front. It’s their chance to drop their chasers but it is also a gamble. Having witness is good cover, so getting off the main road means their chasers can attack with no issue. But at the very least, outrunning their chasers won’t be their only means of escaping. So is it worth risking an immediate attack?

Then Oikawa coughs, hard. He inhales harshly to get the oxygen his lungs demand and that is the answer to Iwaizumi’s ponder.

“Left!” Iwaizumi tackles Oikawa to the side and grabs the collar of Oikawa's coat while he's at it. Good call, because otherwise Oikawa would have taken a nose dive.

“Warn me!” Oikawa angrily marks. His voice echoes through the narrow path among tall brick buildings.

“I did!”

“Yeah, the half-second reaction time was really helpful,” Oikawa refuses to lose their argument. Wow, some things really don’t change.

Iwaizumi gives in and decides to focus on escaping. He’s the one who has been living in London the past seven years, he knows the pattern of backside alleys better than Oikawa and their chasers. If they can’t outrun the enemy then probably outsmarting them will do the trick. Suddenly there is loud thrashing sound from behind. Iwaizumi’s heart skipped a beat, thinking that he’s underestimated their chasers. He dared himself to look back and found the two men still in good distance away from him.

“Eyes on the front!” Oikawa warns. Just in the nick of time, Iwaizumi avoids a large trash bin covering almost a half of the path. Oikawa doesn’t avoid it though, he leaps over it and kicks the bin as he moves forward. The loud thrashing noise is heard again and now Iwaizumi knows where it came from.

Taking advantage of the environment, yet another Oikawa specialty.

But they can only keep this game for so long. Blocking the path will hinder but not stop their chasers. Iwaizumi can feel his chest tighter with every step he takes. Fatigue is another parameter to consider; they have limits and Iwaizumi is pessimistic they can win a battle of stamina against their chasers. They have to do something—engaging in battle is the only thing that came up to Iwaizumi’s mind. But can they take it? Can Oikawa take it? They really can’t keep running like this.

“We can’t keep running like this!” Oikawa announces as if he can hear the voice inside Iwaizumi’s head.

He kicks the last few trash bins in sight, turns to maintain balance, pulls out the Bowie knife under his coat and ends his manoeuvre by kicking Iwaizumi forward. Oikawa must admit, kicking Iwaizumi felt so good. It’s oddly satisfying, perhaps he’ll try punching the next time he needs to get Iwaizumi out of the way.

“You ass—“

“Forward, corner left, I see a turn. Find us an exit,” Oikawa _commands_. It’s been far too long since the last Iwaizumi had anyone telling him what to do. “I’ll hold them off.”

Regardless, Iwaizumi does as told. He takes a quick glance by the turn and sees the two chasers closing in on Oikawa. His Bowie knife is on sight. It’s longer than the side knife Iwaizumi asked for and a lot shorter than Oikawa’s original katana, but it looks ready for battle and that’s what matters. The chasers yell upon approach and that is what signalled Iwaizumi that the fight is on—Oikawa starts his fights in silence. It’s amusing to think that one of the very few things that can shut Oikawa’s sharp mouth up is engaging in battle.

Moments later there are grunts, angry remarks and sounds of metal clashing. Then there are punches and thuds following hand in hand battle. Iwaizumi is very tempted to run back in Oikawa’s direction and give him a hand. But he remembers Oikawa’s words: if I were to invade Japan, I’d start by taking down the Iwaizumis. And that is enough to keep Iwaizumi in his course.

“Go, go, go!” Oikawa yells. He shows up from the corner, thankfully, bloodless. But the relief didn’t last long as the two attackers tail him seconds later.

Think.

Think.

 _Think_.

Iwaizumi scans his surroundings while pacing his steps. The alley became wider and they surely will reach the main road. They can blend in and after taking Oikawa’s counter-attacks, their chasers surely won’t be able to chase them as fast as before. And they can’t possibly attack in public, right? If they arrived the same way Oikawa did, they most likely won’t risk messing with the local authorities.

“Argh!”

That was Oikawa.

Iwaizumi turns in hurry to find Oikawa struggling out of the attacker’s grip. The second attacker barges in for what it seems like another punch. Oikawa yells as he ducks, taking the man behind him as he lunges forward and dodges the attack at the nick of time. He sets free and jumps up as if nothing happened. He charges his attacker and plunges the knife in his hand at the base of his attacker’s neck. Oikawa dashes back as if the spurting blood spreads diseases. He wipes the blood on his knife with one swift move and watches as wounded attacker tumbles. At the end of the sequence, Oikawa lands a sick back kick to make sure he stays down. 

“Iwa!” Oikawa yells. He grunts as he throws his bowie knife with impressive aim, hitting just by the side of Iwaizumi’s feet.

Seems like Oikawa picked up a merchandise from the fallen enemy. Oikawa’s now wielding the exact same katana as the attacker—or at least, the exact same sword since they don’t have the traditional markings a katana would.

“Barb wired fence up ahead!”

Iwaizumi is impressed. How does Oikawa manage to notice things so far? Sure, he’s good in utilizing his surroundings but there’s got to be a limit to that talent.

“Be useful for once,” Oikawa adds. That comment wasn’t necessary, but Iwaizumi won’t fight it. Oikawa’s right. Compared to Oikawa’s stunts, he has been nothing but dead weight.

With that in mind, Iwaizumi snatches the blade and reaches for the wired fence. He tries pulling it down, no use, so he starts cutting through. Great, now they’re cornered. Iwaizumi looks around as he works his way through the wires. Trash bin, more trash bin. A pile of empty crates. Nothing useful. Iwaizumi grunts in anger. Then Iwaizumi notices something at the very far end of the alley.

A carriage and praise the ancestors, it looks unmanned.

That’s their way out—it is their _only_ way out. But the wired fence is not budging. Either the knife is too small or they just don’t have the luxury of time.

“Tooru!” Iwaizumi yells. “If we can get to the other side—“

Oikawa lets out a painful grunt and followed by sound of kicks. Iwaizumi turns back to see Oikawa struggling to hold the enemy down. They have to work together, Iwaizumi concludes, but only after he finds them a way to escape. The carriage is still in place and hopefully will remain there for him to commandeer. Iwaizumi steps away from the fence to get a better look. It’s not too tall, climbable but the barb wire will pierce their skin. Cutting through isn’t an option either, Iwaizumi already wasted precious seconds trying to do so.

Then there’s more thrashing sounds from behind. Oikawa had tackled the attacker and punches him down. Then Oikawa jumps up in a move that Iwaizumi worries will hurt his back bone, and dashes to fetch the sword that flew out of his hand. The weaponless attacker yells in anger and wails his arms to find support in getting back up. He reached a trash bin, but it fell with loud thrashing noise—trash bins! And wooden crates! They’re not too far from the market, this must be where sellers stack their crates after unloading their goods.

Iwaizumi jumps up with a plan in mind. If they survive this and Oikawa’s the only one contributing to their escape, Iwaizumi is never going to hear the end of it. Good thing he is the only one of them who can coach a western style carriage.

“Tooru get up here!” Iwaizumi instructs. He tucks his knife under his belt and pushes the empty crates to support his needs.

For once, Oikawa doesn’t question his actions. It’s enough to sign that he’s at his limits and is open to any other option available. Oikawa gives his opponent a final strike and tackles him down with his elbow before running towards the fence. His eyes open in protest seeing the fence still intact.

“Hands down, get me up.”

“And what about me?” Oikawa protests but he still forms his stance and positions his hands together for Iwaizumi to step on.

Iwaizumi settles one feet on Oikawa’s hands and gives the fence one last look to calculate his jump. Then he intends to point the crates, but Oikawa reads the situation faster. The crates are positioned well enough for Oikawa to jump over the fence without anyone propelling him. They had this training back in school and Iwaizumi assumes Oikawa is fit enough to pull it off. He could too, but it’s been years since Iwaizumi had physically challenging exercises.

“Three, two—“ Oikawa throws his hands up and at the same time Iwaizumi jumps as high as he can reach. He hovers over the fence and positions himself to roll into his landing. Breaking a leg would be very inconvenient. The fall is harder than Iwaizumi anticipated, or rather, it’s been a while since his last military-like physical training.

Iwaizumi immediately looks back upon landing. Oikawa is on his way. He runs back to gain speed and jumps over the first few crates. That’s a good angle and enough speed, he’s going to make it, Iwaizumi tells himself. That is, before he spotted the attacker rising from a distance.

“Tooru!” Iwaizumi warns. He didn’t want to interrupt Oikawa’s concentration, but Oikawa needs to know that someone is on his back. The attacker is wounded, there is no way he can catch up to them now. Especially not with a barb wire fence separating them.

However, that brought no relief what so ever. The attacker raises his sword and positions his arm in a stance that is not foreign to Iwaizumi. He’s going to throw the sword. Iwaizumi is only familiar with knife throwing since they’re small and agile enough to manoeuvre. Swords are heavy and throwing them defies their purpose. But when stuck in a corner, everyone does whatever comes up in mind. The sword is too wide to get through the wires. Besides, it is near impossible to aim it at this distance. Iwaizumi cancels the possibility of the sword being aimed towards him and leaving him with just one possible outcome.

“NO!”

Too late. Oikawa made his jump and at the same time the attacker throws his sword.

In response Iwaizumi jumps as high as he can, thankfully enough to get his upper body over the wire fence. He swings his arm forward and in turn, throws the Bowie knife in his hand. For once in his life, Iwaizumi felt the 12 years he spent in military school finally does him good. 

Oikawa stumbles upon landing. His legs failed him and he falls forward with a groan. Iwaizumi takes a quick look to the other side and found the bowie knife plunged into the attacker’s thigh. Good thing he isn’t a perfectionist like Tooru is. Iwaizumi is just glad that he still has some fight in him, that is aim isn’t as rusty as he thought it would be, and that the attacker is now immobile and weaponless. However, that relief didn’t last long. Oikawa isn’t getting up and it is two seconds too long.

The carriage is still there. Good, there is finally an end to this. Iwaizumi catches his breath and rushes to Oikawa’s side.

“Come on now,” Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa up and takes one arm over his shoulder to support Oikawa up.

Oikawa groans at the gesture but proceeds to get on both feet.

“Are you injured?” Iwaizumi asks in haste. Oikawa doesn’t answer and focuses on not falling.

“We’re getting in that carriage,” Iwaizumi points the empty carriage with his head. Oikawa grunts and murmurs something like _quickly, let’s go_. Oikawa is wheezing and struggling for air, and it all puts more pressure for Iwaizumi to get them out of the alley.

But it’s not as easy as it seems.

Another figure appears, looming above the high ground and looking down on them like rats trapped in a maze. The man has facial features similar to those of their previous attackers, which can only mean he’s not there to rescue them. Oikawa also looks up in realization of Iwaizumi’s sudden stop. Iwaizumi regulates his breathing, thinking that the only way they could get out now is if he were to face this man one on one. Oikawa isn’t going to give up that easily, of course. He tries to get out of Iwaizumi’s hold and attempts to charge forward, but whatever pain it is he felt, it stopped him from even standing properly.

“I got this,” Iwaizumi assures. Oikawa voices a protest, or a gasp in pain, Iwaizumi cannot tell for sure. He is about to take the sword from Oikawa’s hand when the man draws his own weapon—a bow and arrows.

“Iwa—“

The first shot pierced through the small gap between Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s head. The arrow flew by with immense speed they only realized what happened when the man reaches back for another arrow.

“Get behind me,” Oikawa says breathless. But what Iwaizumi does is the exact opposite.

Iwaizumi turns his back and catches Oikawa before he falls to the ground. With one arm holding Oikawa’s waist and the other going over Oikawa’s shoulder, Iwaizumi positions himself as a shield.

“You jerk!” Oikawa screams.

Another shot. This time it grazed Iwaizumi’s lower arm. While Oikawa’s freaking out because Iwaizumi’s injured, Iwaizumi’s horrified because that arrow was too close to Oikawa’s head—well, his too, but his priorities are different as to Oikawa’s.

“Let go of me!” Oikawa demands.

“You can’t get up there!” Iwaizumi’s words make logical sense. There is no way they could get than man down. But that doesn’t stop Oikawa from kicking Iwaizumi’s stomach with his knee—and he’s not even holding back because Iwaizumi felt the tea and biscuits from earlier gushing up his esophagus.

Oikawa got his upper body free of Iwaizumi’s hold. The man aims his arrow again and at the same time Oikawa reaches into his sleeves. When Iwaizumi got himself back up, Oikawa has drawn his side knife and takes a second to focus his aim. Iwaizumi quickly turns his head up to see the archer, he too is ready to shoot. Oikawa is first to throw his weapon, faster only by a maximum of one and a half seconds than the arrow.

The short knife flew up with more speed than the Bowie knife Iwaizumi threw earlier. Oikawa is smart, he knows his side knife isn't a proper throwing knife and it is too weak to pierce through bones, so he aimed to the archer’s shoulder. At first glance, it is as if Oikawa’s knife reached the archer the same time as his last shoot. But the trajectory of the arrow shows that Oikawa’s throw served its purpose. The archer was most likely aiming for Iwaizumi. A normal arrow would fly in that direction but as the archer loses aim in the exact second, it wobbled mid-air and only managed to graze Iwaizumi’s side.

The moment the archer retreats should have brought relief to Iwaizumi. Well, it did, but at the same time Oikawa falls forward into Iwaizumi’s hold. The only sign of life coming from him is his rapid breathing. Iwaizumi carefully positions Oikawa better in his arms but he felt himself out of energy as well.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi gasps. “Hey, don’t pass out now, I need you to make sure we’re not being followed.”

Iwaizumi had to pull Oikawa up from slipping. He’s done this before, seven years ago, he’s carried Oikawa in his arms more times than he can count and it never came to his mind, that there will come a day where he has to carry Oikawa to safety. Iwaizumi lets himself a moment to collect whatever energy he possess to escape, a moment to thank whatever deity allowed them to survive that ambush, and a moment to just feel Oikawa in his arms, Oikawa’s hair brushing against his chin, Oikawa’s face pressed onto his chest—all before pulled back to the reality where Oikawa desperately needs his medical expertise to live another day.

 

**Edo, 1832 / Hajime (19), Tooru (18)**

When they were little, Iwaizumi will always complain whenever they hike the trail up to the Oikawa family residence. There is a road for horses and carriages, but it’s off limits for school boys running around after lessons. They have to take the steep stairway, which is why Iwaizumi will always try to convince Tooru to play in the imperial castle instead. Now that they’re older, Iwaizumi is jealous of the hilltop mansion.

The staircase is still tiring to climb but the journey is worth the effort. First, there is the view. Sure, Iwaizumi wakes up every morning with his room facing the famed imperial garden but Oikawa wakes up greeted by the view of Edo; either covered in morning mist, pristine white with snow, blushing pink from cherry blossoms or painted gold by autumn foliage. Then there’s the location. Their mansion is built on a hill by a forest, no walls or fences and having nature as neighbors. The size is still relatively big for a family of three, but with Oikawa-sensei’s staple of books and work documentation, it is just right. Then of course, the people living there. The servants of the Oikawa mansion are far few in numbers compared to the servants in the imperial palace. However, that is exactly why Iwaizumi can remember each and every one of them and make the effort to know them personally. Iwaizumi grew up having his health taken care of by Tooru’s father and Tooru’s mother is the sweetest woman Iwaizumi has ever met. Everybody in the mansion is warm and lovely—yes, even whiny, cranky, mischievous Tooru.

The basement of the Oikawa mansion is used as an archive to store Oikawa-sensei’s works and other documents he obtained through his life-long research. The shelves are massive and built so tall they reach the ceiling. Though the basement is dim-lighted, chilly and even spooky at night, it is wonderful compared to the dungeons and torture rooms located in the basement of the imperial castle—where Hajime lives. When they were little, Oikawa-sensei forbid them from entering the basement archive. Now that Iwaizumi’s his apprentice, he has full access and even knows every corner of it like the back of his hand.

Tooru never had much to do in the basement. He’s not interested in his father’s work and the only occasions he’d take the stairs down is to tell his father when dinner is ready, or when he has a visitor or is summoned to the castle. At 18 going on 19, Tooru finds himself down in the archives a lot more often than when he was 10. He’d come home in the evening, clean himself, steal some food from the kitchen and head down to the basement, where he’s most certain he’d find Hajime somewhere in between the shelves.

It only started last week after Hideaki reveals that he knows of their relationship. Hajime is way too embarrassed to stay in the residential area any longer than necessary, so he sought refuge in the Oikawa residence. In theory, it would be the perfect hideout for both of them. No guards, no siblings, walls thick enough to suppress noise, but Iwaizumi cannot get himself to do it in the archives, which is the closest thing to a holy place for his sensei and not to mention with his sensei’s only son, no matter how hard Tooru tried to rile him up. Thankfully, Tooru’s work takes a lot out of him. He’d always come home dead tired but still refuses to get some rest in his own room. Leaving Iwaizumi with no other choice than to take care of the overgrown man-baby.

After a few days Iwaizumi found the most comfortable solution for both of them: he’d keep the lights dim except for the one in the reading corner. Iwaizumi would lounge comfortably and have his back leaning to the wall with cushions supporting him so that he doesn’t have to sit up straight for hours. He will have a book in one hand, an ink pen in the other and his lover sleeping against his chest. Tooru lies on his side with an arm going up Iwaizumi’s abdomen. His head is positioned right under Iwaizumi’s chin, giving Hajime the opportunity to steal pecks on top of his head once in a while. Their legs tangle as they snuggle to keep each other warm.

They grew up together, went to school together, play together, and get in trouble together. But after all those years, only recently Iwaizumi realized that Oikawa can just be there without doing anything and it will still make his heart feel lighter. Two years may be too soon to say, they may be too young to tell, but it didn’t stop Iwaizumi from believing that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Oikawa by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you spot the foreshadowing in the midst of sappy Iwaoi fluffies? xD


	5. An Unkept Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “Please entrust Tooru to me, Oikawa-sensei. I will look after him, take good care of him, patch him when he’s wounded and cure him when he’s ill. I will be there for him, so you don’t have to worry because you know your son is well taken care of. So please, Sensei, do trust me with Tooru.”

When Oikawa wakes up—or at least what _felt_  like waking up, the first thing that came to mind is the fact that he’s on a mission. He is so well trained that that is the first he thinks of the moment he regained consciousness. The realization snaps his physical body into action. Suddenly, Oikawa noticed pain piercing through his shoulder. His brain processed the extra information immediately. Active mission. Lost consciousness. Striking pain. Conclusion: Danger, you’re in danger.

Oikawa jumps up following the reflects his brain implemented. As he moves, he felt not only the pain from his shoulder but along his back bone as well, concentrating around the muscles. Oikawa reached out his arms for support, stumbling in the process as his limbs refused to cooperate. A sting struck his temple because of the sudden move. He groaned in response and stumbled forward. A foreign pair of hands came to break his fall. However, it triggered an alarm inside Oikawa’s already hazy mind.

 _ _Get off me__. Oikawa yelled, but nothing came out. He fought the hands with whatever strength he could muster. His muscles cried for help with every movement, his breath felt heavier within each passing second and his mind plummets deeper into panic as he fails to make sense of his surroundings.

“No, no, no, it’s alright.”

A voice, worried and warm, introduced a sense of calmness among the foreign situation.

He probably shouldn’t, but Oikawa lets the hands guide him back down. It’s not like he can fight it anyways. The hands then made their way up. One caressed the side of his face and the other rakes through his damp hair, sweeping rouge strands off his face. They feel less intimidating now, affectionate even, especially when the hands helped positioning his head onto a pillow. Oikawa hissed as the sting on his shoulder returned. The hands caressed his neck and shoulder until the pain slowly fades.

Then, without warning, something wet touched his skin. His bare torso, to be precise. Oikawa was about to jump into a protesting fit again. The idea of him being under a stranger’s mercy, confused, wounded __and__  most likely stripped off his clothes is too humiliating to bear.

“I won’t do anything unnecessary, I swear.”

For some reason, Oikawa trusted the voice.

Having somewhat calmed down, Oikawa can feel what’s going on. It’s a washcloth. It’s carefully going through his chest, his abdomen, his arms. It wiped his palms and his legs, but only up to his knees. Most importantly, it’s warm and comforting. It went on, again and again until Oikawa is led to believe that he’s not in danger, despite what his instincts are telling him.

Oikawa felt his eyes extremely heavy—are they even open? It’s hard to tell since the room was poorly lit.

“You’ll be fine, I’m taking care of you.”

Ah. That voice again. Deep, throaty and familiar—oddly and painfully familiar. Like it came from a distant memory. 

“Sleep, Tooru.”

Oh, nostalgic too. Could it be?

“Haji—me—”

Nah, that can’t be him. He left you, remember?

******* **

Having Oikawa Tooru lying half-naked on his bed, drenching in sweat, gasping for air, strands of hair falling down his face and eyes half-lidded as he fights to remain conscious is, for Iwaizumi Hajime, nostalgic in a surprisingly innocent way. Sure, during their short-lived romance Iwaizumi has collected plenty of __less__ -innocent memories with Oikawa in the exact same state. They’re just not dominant at the moment.

There was a time when they were about 7 years old, Oikawa collapsed halfway through history lessons in school. ‘Your pea sized brain cannot take this much information’ Iwaizumi would have mocked if it wasn’t for the pitiful state Oikawa’s in. He was burning up. The way Oikawa isn’t even trying to hide his whimpering shows how the fever has taken over. Their teacher took Oikawa to the school infirmary to wait for his father to pick him up but during midday break, Iwaizumi ordered his retainers to have Oikawa brought to the imperial castle. He figured it would be best; Sensei wouldn’t have to go all the way to school to pick up Tooru and Oikawa can rest better in the residence area with the servants looking after him.

However, when Iwaizumi returned from school, he found Oikawa on his bed, still sick and miserable. Hikari was present when Tooru arrived and she had him placed in Hajime’s quarters instead of the guest room. It was at the peak of winter and heating an empty room will take a while. __Hajime won’t mind if Tooru borrows his bed__ , she said. And indeed she was right. When Oikawa-sensei came by later that day, Iwaizumi stayed and watched the court physician work his magic. The whole thing fascinated Iwaizumi. From seeing his usually alive-and-kicking best friend drowsy, watching Oikawa-sensei unconsciously puts more attention when tending Tooru than anyone else, to observing a medical professional at work. There is a reason to why Iwaizumi that memory is stored well in his memory even after 20 years. It was the day he found his life purpose.

Unfortunately, the fond memory does nothing in helping their situation today.

“Oikawa… can you sit up?” Iwaizumi slips one arm under Oikawa’s neck and gently heaves him into half-sitting position. Oikawa’s brows furrowed in protest, but there was little he could do in resistance. “You need to drink more water.”

Iwaizumi felt his arm that is holding Oikawa warm and moist. The high fever made Oikawa sweat buckets and after two days it’s starting to get worrying. With damp clothes Oikawa could catch a cold and without properly eating or drinking, dehydration is becoming a visible threat. Iwaizumi’s other hand held a cup of water for Oikawa to drink, but even with the support Oikawa couldn’t finish the whole glass.

“Head—hurts,” Oikawa whimpered.

“Alright,” Iwaizumi sighed half-heartedly. He puts the cup away and held Oikawa with both arms to tuck him back into bed. “It’s alright, I got you.”

“Is it infection?” Oikawa asked ever so hoarse. He flips one arm up to cover his eyes, but Iwaizumi sets them aside to place a cold towel on Oikawa’s forehead.

“No, I don’t think so,” Iwaizumi answered after a pause. At least today Oikawa can hold a conversation. He was a wreck and delirious yesterday. “I checked and treated your wounds, they’re only moderate. Even the one on your right shoulder, from the thrown sword, is nothing to be worried about. Besides, your fever is too violent to be caused by infection.”

“I feel horrible,” Oikawa groans.

“I know, I’m figuring it out,” Iwaizumi tried to calm him. “Did something happen? Before the attack, I mean. You were fine when we were at the tea house, right? Your temperature rose so sudden, something must be triggering it.”

Oikawa sounds an incoherent protest at the sudden rain of questions.

“Sorry,” Iwaizumi says quickly. “Sorry, just… try to get some sleep, alright?”

For the first time since his arrival, Oikawa gave an obedient nod.

“By the way you… should change your clothes. You’re sweating a lot and some dry clothes would make you feel better. Do you—should I,” Iwaizumi couldn’t get himself to finish his words. For some reason, the thought of him unclothing Oikawa bothers him, even though he’s done it plenty of times before in the past.

“Later,” Oikawa breathes out heavily. “I’ll—do it later.”

“Alright,” Iwaizumi nods. “I’ll set some clothes for you.”

Oikawa hums a response.

“I wiped you with a washcloth yesterday. Just the places I could reach though, you still need to wash up properly. I hope you don’t mind,” Iwaizumi says carefully.

Oikawa gave a weak nod as he kept his eyes closed.

“I’ll be at the dining table if you need me.”

This time there is no answer, just the sound of Oikawa’s heavy breathing as he slowly falls asleep. Iwaizumi lets out a small smile at the sight. Oikawa’s been restless since yesterday, this is a nice change for once. Before standing from the bed side, Iwaizumi carefully caress the side of Oikawa’s face—old habits die hard after all.

Iwaizumi walks across his flat towards the dining table. Instead of cutlery, there is a sword and a few hand knives they got from the attack. If Iwaizumi couldn’t find answers in Oikawa’s wounds, he might be able to dig something from the weapons.

 

****Edo, same day / Sugawara (27)** **

Hideaki waited until the last royal court member properly exits the hall before slumping down his seat with a loud sigh. Council meetings are his least favourite and the court members aren’t making it easy for him. There is always something, always urgent, and the increased tension along their borders only make things worse.

Then there’s a faint knock, followed by the doors to the hall’s main entrance swinging open.

“Finally, a friendly face appears,” Hideaki muffles as Sugawara enters.

“Was it that bad?” Sugawara asked apologetically. He didn’t need to. Everything is showing in Hideaki’s body language.

“The worst.”

“You say that after every council meeting,” Sugawara chuckles as an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere.

“Because it’s true!” Hideaki almost whined. “Please tell me you’re here for the strategical meeting preparations.”

“I’m gonna have to disappoint. I’m here to make sure you get something to eat.” Hideaki rolls his eyes at Sugawara's words. “And then we will start the prep.”

“I don’t have time, Suga-san,” Hideaki reaches out his arm, signaling Sugawara to hand in the reports he brought along. Suga reluctantly hands them. So far this is the biggest difference between Sugawara and Oikawa, while one doesn’t dare to object the other will nag until he gets what he wants.

“I’m definitely going to get another earful from Oikawa-sensei,” Sugawara sighed as he takes a seat by the round table.

Hideaki laughs and nudges Sugawara with his elbow. “I’ll talk to him. Besides, I already asked the maids to bring me rice balls and sweets. That should do the trick, right?”

Sugawara gave a look of disapproval.

“And we have a fancy reservation tonight! Commander Sawamura is arriving early for the strategic meeting so I made dinner arrangements beforehand.”

“Wait, Dai—ah, Commander Sawamura is arriving today?” Sugawara asked in surprise. “I wasn’t aware of that. And the official strategic meeting isn’t in two days, are you sure it’s alright for him to leave his post that long?”

“It was a last minute request from me. I wanted his opinion on the drafts we came up last week before we present it in the official strategic meeting. Of course I understand the complicated situation that is our north-eastern border, which is why I left the decision making to him completely. A messenger arrived yesterday saying that the fort should be just fine for a few days’ leave. He appointed Captain Ennoshita in charge. That’s a name I’m not familiar with, should I be worried?” Hideaki throws a quick glance from the corner of his eye.

“Um... no, not at all,” Sugawara answered. It’s not Ennoshita he worries about, but rather the junior officers. With him and Daichi absent, no one is there to keep Hinata and Kageyama out of each other’s nerves.

“Perfect,” Hideaki chirps. “I wasn’t sure if Sawamura could arrive early, so I’d rather wait for solid news before telling you. Sorry for the sudden schedule change.”

“Ah, no, nothing to apologize. I just wasn’t expecting that,” Sugawara responds. He lowers his head, but not fast enough to hide the shade of red on his face from Hideaki.

A guard then appeared through the door. He bowed with respect before taking a step into the hall and just as Hideaki thought a servant is coming with his food, the guard said, “Empress Consort Hikari of the western kingdom is present and requests an audience, sire.”

Both Hideaki and Sugawara share surprised glances.

“In Edo I like to be referred as Hikari of the Iwaizumi clan, please take note,” a familiar voice is heard, followed by steady footsteps and then her figure appears. “Hello brother, it’s been a while.”

“What are you doing here?” Hideaki asked out of reflects.

Hikari made an exaggerated offended look, “In the western kingdom we exchange greetings before throwing questions.”

Sugawara stands from his seat and offers Hikari a respectful bow, “Welcome home, your highness.”

“It’s good to be home,” Hikari says as she makes way into the hall. “You must be Sugawara. I heard you’re filling in for Oikawa during his absence.”

“Indeed I am. Although, I can’t say I’m living up to his standards.”

“Nonsense. My brother has a sharp intuition when it comes to the people by his side,” Hikari says as she approaches the two gentlemen in the room. “Besides, he’s been working with mostly strategists taught and trained in central regions. Having you from the east will provide him different insight regarding our current situation.”

“You are too kind,” Sugawara humbly accepts the praise.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Hideaki torts, feeling ignored in the room.

“Do you mind giving us some space, Sugawara-kun? I need to speak to my brother,” Hikari says instead.

Sugawara throws an uncertain glance in Hideaki’s direction. Per social status, Hikari stands in higher position but per authority, Hideaki holds more political power—even when he’s only filling in for his father. That and they really need to finish going through the reports if they want to start the discussion with Commander Sawamura in time.

“Do as she says,” Hideaki understood the silent cry for help. Sugawara stands and bows from his neck. Hideaki then adds, “Let's look through these individually and compare our observations in an hour or two."

Sugawara nods and exits the room, leaving the royal siblings alone in the hall.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Father’s ill. I came to visit.” Hideaki rises an eyebrow for there is suspicion in his sister’s voice tone. “At least that’s what my husband is told. I really came here because of your letter.”

Figures. At the end of the day, Hikari is as sly as any high skilled strategist are.

“I sent you the message so you wouldn’t come here.”

“And what, watch my home country fall to its knees?” Hikari asked.

Hideaki sighed.

“Besides, Hide,” Hikari slips into informal speech. “Do you really think I’d sit still after receiving such message?”

 _Someone is trying to overthrow the imperial family. Stay safe, watch your back. I’ve sent someone for Hajime as well_. The message said.

“You were so blunt in your letter. Don’t you think it’s a bit risky?”

“Not warning you is an even bigger risk,” Hideaki says. “Tooru believes that a foreign enemy is trying to overthrow the imperial family. I think that someone from the inside is planning a rebellion. Either way, we’re in a pinch. Add the constant attacks around our north and eastern borders on top of that.”

“I know. I’m always well-informed when it comes to the Shogunate,” Hikari says rather proudly.

“Awesome, then you must know about the upcoming strategic meeting already. Now if you will excuse me, Sugawara and I have some preparations to make—”

“And Hajime,” Hikari cuts off. “Any news from Tooru yet?”

Hideaki throws her a glare. Subtle, but enough to tell her that the truth of Tooru’s whereabouts is not to be mentioned lightheartedly.

“Sorry,” Hikari offers him a quick apology.

“I haven’t heard from him since his departure,” Hideaki says equally low. “And I hope I wouldn’t. He’s ordered not to send a messenger unless, well, unless the worst case scenario is no longer a scenario.”

Hikari hums and nods her head in understanding. Hideaki turns to his preparation work again while Hikari, bored perhaps, stands from her seat and walks around the hall. She used to join in his father’s defense meetings as an honorary member of the court, so the main hall brought back fond memories. Hikari heads to the windows. She took her time enjoying the view of the imperial garden before sitting herself on the cushioned long seats by the window still.

“I like your strategy, by the way,” Hikari said just loud enough to reach Hideaki.

News of the shogun’s illness has spread to neighboring countries. Everybody knows the crown prince is too inexperienced to fully step in for his father, making it the perfect timing to overthrow the shogunate. So Hideaki and his task force came up with a plan. While Oikawa is off to retrieve Hajime, government officials are told that he’s on a course around the country to gear up for war. If there is a traitor among them, that rumor should be enough to make them reconsider a coup d’etat. Meanwhile, Hideaki makes use of his personal task force, now with Sugawara as his strategy adviser, to up their defenses. This way, they can take action against both internal and external crisis. That should buy them enough time until Oikawa returns with Hajime and therefore, a cure for the shogun.

“Smart, really. Did you come up with that yourself?”

“Actually, yes. It sounds like a tactic Tooru would suggest, don’t you think?” Hideaki said. “He probably would, if only Hajime wasn’t involved.”

“It’s that bad, huh?”

“It’s a nightmare,” Hideaki sighed and finally sets his papers down. “The way that boy keeps functioning despite what happened, it terrified me to some extent. It’s not human.”

“Well, to be fair, the way you work your ass off isn’t human either,” Hikari commented. “I didn’t think you’d send Tooru though.”

“How is that surprising? If anyone can get Hajime back home it’s him.”

“He is, I know he is. I mean I was surprised that Tooru’s okay with it.” While Hideki learned of their relationship by accident, with their sister, Hajime made the effort to tell her personally. However, Hideaki never knew since when. His guess is not long after he found out, and to be honest, the way Hajime treats his older siblings with grave difference upsets him.

“It took a bit of convincing, but he understood my reasons and accepted,” Hideaki says. “He’s grown a lot since you’ve been gone and even more so after Hajime left.”

“Ah,” Hikari simply notes. “I always thought, if any of us could get a happily ever after it would be Haji. I guess the gods of fortune are just not in our side.”

“Yeah,” Hideaki sighed. “I envy Tooru in so many ways. But his ability to draw a genuine smile out of Hajime is arguably what I envy the most.”

“He never forgave you, I assume.”

Hideaki shakes his head.

“And you never forgave yourself.”

“How can I?”

“Hide-cchi,” Hikari sighs. “I can’t believe I still have to repeat this. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Hajime would disagree.”

“Hajime was a child,” Hikari said. “And that’s partially my fault. I should have handled the situation better, make him understand.”

Hideaki decides not to carry on with the topic and focuses back to the reports he was working on. But it seems like Hikari isn’t allowing him.

“Let me talk to him once he returns.”

“You plan to visit Edo again? And here I thought the emperor wanted you by his side at all times.”

“He does. But he also bears the responsibility of protecting our kingdom,” Hikari says with confidence in her voice. “Shogun-sama, I have also come to inform you that I, Iwaizumi Hikari, Empress Consort of the western kingdom, shall be the official mediator between our two kingdoms in preventing, or if it comes to it, fighting this war against the northern and eastern kingdom.”

Hideaki's eyes widen in awe. His sister lost what very little political power she had when she married into the neighboring kingdom's royal family.

“Now this is a development I wasn’t expecting. Hoped for, but didn’t see this one coming so soon. What brought it up?”

“Let’s just say some sexist court members finally swallowed their ego when they realized that I’m their best shot at getting the western kingdom through these harsh times. A threat to the Shogunate is a threat to us as well, we are allies after all,” Hikari said. “So I came with a military preposition.”

“I’m listening.”

While Hideaki and Tooru’s plan currently focus on the stability of their own country, Hikari’s game plan includes all of their allies. Thus, not only strengthening their defenses as a unity but also giving them a good chance of fighting back in case of a war outbreak. Hideaki now sees why Tooru adores her, he sees the potential she has and the unfortunate circumstances that hindered her from living it to the fullest, and he also sees why Hajime never forgave him for letting her down.

“Excuse my intrusion, your highness—”

Both royals throw their attention towards the door where Sugawara opens just enough to slip in. He bows politely and stays where he is before Hideaki hand gestures him to come forth.

“Wow, I bet you’re not used to having a polite and respectful personal adviser,” Hikari commented. Of course compared to Sugawara, Oikawa’s ‘yo Hide’ sounds barbaric.

“It’s a nice change. He’s actually sharp tonged as well, Suga’s just better at knowing when not to let it show,” Hideaki says with a chuckle. “Yes, Suga-san, I’m sorry. Has it been an hour?”

“Yes, Hideaki-sama. I also have completed my half of the reports and everything is running smoothly. If there are no changes from your side, we should be able to continue our preparations for the defense meeting right about now.”

“Right,” Hideaki slaps his forehead. “I got carried away.”

“Is it urgent?” Hikari asked.

“I made extra arrangements for this and it is regarding the north-eastern fort,” Hideaki rubs his chin as he considers his options. “But then again your preposition is not to be taken lightly.”

Both Hikari and Sugawara paid close attention to Hideaki.

“Do you mind taking over the preparations for me, Sugawara?” Hideaki asks.

“Gladly, sir.”

“You’re going to a meeting unprepared? That is not how you do things, Hide,” Hikari says casually.

“Actually, your highness, I plan to thoroughly discuss your military arrangement,” Hideaki says. He then turns to Suga, “Can you clear my schedule for today and tomorrow, Suga-san?”

“Yes, of course—wait, no. What about the defense meeting with Commander Sawamura?”

“Now that I think of it, I don’t have to be there,” Hideaki says. “First and foremost, you came up with most of our defense plans, so you’re the one who will do the presentation. Second, it’s not me who needs the debriefing but Commander Sawamura. After all, he is the one who’s going to execute whichever plan we decide on later. Take over the discussion for me. Hand me the protocol by tomorrow evening so I’ll know what to expect during the strategic meeting.”

Though Hiedaki’s reasoning made sense, it still isn’t enough to convince Sugawara.

“And the dinner reservations for tonight?”

Hideki beams a cheeky smile.

“It’ll be a waste to cancel, don’t you think? You go with him.” Sugawara’s face turned pink. Just slightly, but his pale skin and grey-ish hair gave it more contrast. “And while you’re at it, keep him company tomorrow as well.”

“Hideaki-san, what on earth are you up to,” Sugawara mutters under his breath.

“What?” Hideaki plays innocent. “I made him arrive two days early only to cancel the discussion hours before his arrival. I feel terrible. Do send him my regards and apologies. But really, I have a feeling he’d very much prefer it this way.”

“Stop it please,” Suga’s now visibly trying to hide his redden face.

“Well then, Suga-kun. I trust you to take care of our guest. I’ll see you in two days,” Hideaki says with a smile, which annoyed Sugawara for some reason. “Try to get some rest too. Empress Hikari’s military proposal will be added to our strategic meeting’s agenda and it’s going to be a handful.”

Sugawara collected the rest of the reports scattered on the round table. He nods at the information before excusing himself from the hall.

“Uhm,” Suga paused right as he reaches the door. “T-thank you, Hideaki-san.”

Hideaki responds with a smile and playfully shoos Suga with his hand.

“He’s cute,” Hikari chuckles.

“You’re married.”

“Unfortunately.”

“And he’s taken,” Hideaki adds.

“My my, Hideaki-kun. You must be a matchmaker in your past life,” Hikari comments. “Or a wedding planner.”

“Sure, sue me for wanting people to be happy,” Hideaki torts. “Besides I didn’t plan it per se. I just saw an opportunity and went for it.”

Hikari chuckles. “Well you are pretty good in noticing such opportunities.”

“It’s been hard on Sugawara and it was unfair of me to demand so much from him in such short notice. He deserves a break,” Hideaki says. He stands from his seat by the round table and walks to where Hikari is sitting. He claims the empty space by her side and leans back to a comfortable position. “Especially when his lover is here.”

“Sugawara’s not the only one who needs a time out, you know,” Hikari says, softly this time.

Hideaki laughs dryly, like he’s mocking his own limit. “Don’t use that tone on me.” _You sound like mother._

“Then don’t give me the tough guy act,” Hikari says. She took Hideaki by his shoulders and gave him a firm hold. “No matter what big of an army you lead or what prosperous country you’re head of, at the end of the day, you are my little brother. So please, let me be the sister you can lean on.”

Hideki slowly leans his head onto Hikari’s shoulder as she pats his nape. It’s been too long, way too long since he last let his guard down, since he allowed himself to be scared, vulnerable and exhausted.

“You’re doing the right thing,” Hikari said, her voice being warm and assuring.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

 

 ****London,** ** ****two days later** ** ****/ Hajime, Tooru (27)** **

It’s midday, Iwaizumi can tell from the noises coming from the street just across the building. He rubs his eyes before peeling his tired body off the table. He stretched his back with a yawn. When Iwaizumi properly opens his eyes, the first thing that came to sight is Oikawa standing across the table.

“Y-you’re up,” Iwaizumi gasped. He immediately stands from his chair, making his head dizzy from sudden movement. He took a wobbly step closer to Oikawa. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Oikawa answered. Cold, short and prompt. It would have seemed as if he’s still upset from their argument before the chase, but Iwaizumi knows Oikawa far too well to make that assumption. No, Oikawa is not angered nor upset. Something’s just caught his attention. Must be the weapons laid across Iwaizumi’s dining table.

“They’re from the attack,” Iwaizumi said. It’s redundant though, Oikawa can already tell. In fact, he’s probably able to collect more information within minutes than Iwaizumi has in the last two days. “They’re not from Edo, or any of our islands in that matter.”

“No, unfortunately not,” Oikawa says without sparing a glance. He lifts the sword for better lighting, feels its weight, picture himself swinging it in numerous ways—all to get a better understanding of its original wielder. “This sword came from either the northern or eastern kingdom of our borders. Doesn’t matter which, really, they’re both trying to annex us.”

Iwaizumi froze at the statement. That means a foreign nation __is__ trying to get rid of the imperial family.

“They’re heavy,” Oikawa’s comment broke the unintentional silence.

“They felt normal to me,” Iwaizumi said.

“How many swords have you held in the past seven years?” Oikawa shoots a side glance along with a slightly raised voice tone. Now __this__ has sarcasm in it.

“Fair enough,” Iwaizumi gave in. He steps away from the dining table and heads for the kitchen. A late breakfast could probably fix the atmosphere, especially remembering Oikawa hasn’t properly eaten since the attack. From the corner of his eyes, Iwaizumi can see Oikawa studying the weapons even further. They were attacked and Hajime was their main target, that’s a gold mine of information for Oikawa to report.

“Iwaizumi,” Oikawa called slowly.

It pierced a hole through Hajime’s chest, hearing Oikawa call his name like that. Past-Hajime would probably lose his mind if he ever found out that future-Hajime wants to be called  Iwa-chan again.

“Yes?” Iwaizumi answers after a while.

“What did you do to me?” Oikawa probably should add more context to his question, because that alone sounded... wrong. Thankfully, he did. “I was sick but today I’m suddenly a lot better.”

Iwaizumi nods at the question. He walks back to the dining table with a basket of bread and butter in hand. “I’ll tell you what I found after you eat.”

Surprisingly, Oikawa does as told. He takes a piece from the basket and takes a small bite off the side. He looks uncertain at first, probably getting used to the unfamiliar taste and texture, but after a while he took bigger bites.

“I like this,” Oikawa says, rather timidly.

“Good. I’ll get you other things to try later,” Iwaizumi answers with a smile.

“Please tell me what happened,” Oikawa repeats his question. And obviously Iwaizumi cannot refuse a please from Oikawa.

“That sword,” Iwaizumi points the only sword on the table, the one the attacker threw at Oikawa. “The blade was poisoned.”

Oikawa’s eyes widen at the information.

“Fortunately, I have seen this type before. They’re quite uncommon here in Europe because the toxin is extracted from snakes found in southern Asia. There’s a British colony in that area and since the hospital where I work is government-funded, they have the resources and connections to get samples. My hospital does a fair amount of research too, along with the local university’s chemistry department,” Iwaizumi explains further.

“Is it lethal?” Oikawa asked.

“Well, you’re still alive aren’t you?” Iwaizumi throws back the question. “They can be lethal, but to achieve the necessary amount and the right concentration is difficult. I’d rather say they kill indirectly. Constant high fever, restlessness, sore muscles, abdominal pain to name a few mishaps they do to human body. You suffered all that for three days until I got the antidote, imagine going through something like that in long term.”

“The antidote exist?”

“Of course. Like I said, the hospital has done research,” Iwaizumi said. “And it’s not an exotic type to begin with, not in southern Asia at least.”

“Is it possible to... get some more of them?” Oikawa asked.

Iwaizumi turns to face Oikawa, his brows furrow in curiosity. “Why, what for?”

Instead of directly answering, Oikawa reaches for the coat he wore earlier. From the chest pocket he pulls out an enclosed envelope and places it in front of Iwaizumi. “Everything you described matches the shogun’s illness.”

Even though Iwaizumi was describing Oikawa’s symptoms instead, Oikawa’s words also drove him to think that the same poison is used on the shogun. The envelop is sealed with wax and the stamp of the Oikawa household, but Iwaizumi is certain it contains official documents of the shogunate. Oikawa’s mission is classified, carrying an imperial emblem would only hinder him.

“My father made detailed observation on the shogun’s condition. You should find everything you need there,” Oikawa said.

“How long has he been like that?”

“Three weeks at the time of my departure.”

“And he’s _still_ alive?” Iwaizumi’s voice is thick with mockery. “How is his brain not fried by that fever? Perhaps it’s made of stone, just like his heart—assuming he has one.”

“His symptoms are much lighter than mine from yesterday. That and my father is a splendid doctor,” Oikawa said.

“Your second statement I agree,” Iwaizumi said. He leans back in his chair. “How is he doing?”

“Kicking, what do you expect from an Oikawa?”

“No less than that, for sure,” Iwaizumi responds with a fond smile. “Alright, fine. I’ll give this a look. If you say the symptoms are milder then it shouldn’t be a problem. In fact, if it matches the description, you can just bring the antidote with you and all is well.”

Just by that, the light atmosphere took a wrong turn.

“But it’s not just about the shogun, Hideaki needs you too,” Oikawa’s response confirmed the return of the unpleasant topic.

Iwaizumi lets out a long, heavy exhale. He was getting used to the pleasant talk only to get dragged back into the mud within seconds. “Yeah, yeah, to make an impression that the reigning family is all geared up.”

“And to make sure you’re safe,” Oikawa emphasized. “Which turns out to be a good idea, considering what happened.”

“You’re making a big deal out of it, Oikawa. I’m not as helpless as people make it sound,” Iwaizumi crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Of course you’re not. You were never weak, Iwa,” Oikawa agrees. “But still, the situation is messier than I anticipated. A storm is coming and there is no such thing as too much preparation.”

“Alright, look,” Iwaizumi sighed. “I see where you’re coming from but it has been four days with no follow ups, no counter-attacks, nothing. Heck, I even made it to the hospital and back a couple times and we’re both just fine—”

“Excuse me?” Oikawa cuts off with obvious distaste.

Ah, Iwaizumi immediately noticed his ‘mistake’. First, he wandered the city alone after an assassination attempt. Second, he left Oikawa, sick and defenseless, alone in his flat. Iwaizumi’s certain Oikawa is only pissed at his first mistake though. It’s not in Oikawa’s nature to think of himself during an active mission. However, instead of letting Tooru win the argument, he poked back, “I went to the hospital several times. I needed to identify the toxin and later to get the antidote—”

“You—what?!” Oikawa slammed both hands on the table.

“What else was I supposed to do? Stay and watch you writhe in pain?” Iwaizumi raised his voice as well. “Or did you think I have a stash of antitoxins hidden somewhere in my kitchen cabinet?”

“Those loonies were after _you_ , Hajime! They only attacked me because I’m in their way, but it is your head that’s worth the prize,” Oikawa wanted to scream, but his throat is still sore. “I can’t believe you’d be so reckless after an obvious attack like that!”

“What do you want me to say, Tooru?!” Iwaizumi yelled, and with that silence is brought upon them. Oikawa stared with an expression difficult to decipher. Iwaizumi has his jaws clenched as he takes vigorous breaths. It was until he asked again, with more careful voice tone this time, “What do you want me to say, because I won’t apologize for going to the hospital.”

Oikawa may be angry and exhausted, but he is not stupid. He knows Iwaizumi did what he thought was right at that moment. But still…

“I won’t apologize for prioritizing your recovery,” Iwaizumi repeated, more like a sigh because there is obvious exhaustion in his voice.

It didn’t stop Oikawa from being merciless though.

“How about for breaking my heart? You haven’t apologized for that.”

It’s not fair, really, the way Oikawa uses the past against him whenever he sees convenient. But for some reason Iwaizumi lets him. Perhaps because Oikawa’s right, he hasn’t apologized at all.

 

 ****Edo,**** ** **1830**** ** **/ Hajime, Tooru** ** ****(17)** **

Observing the trials for the imperial royal guards is generally prohibited. But of course that rule doesn’t apply to the shogun’s youngest son. Neither does it effect Edo castle’s court physician.

 Iwaizumi watches from a distance though. He stood as far as possible, even opted for a place hidden behind the shadows of surrounding trees. Oikawa-sensei joined him even though he has a designated seat by the professional consultant section. He said he doesn’t want to disturb Tooru’s concentration if he found him among the spectators, which is coincidentally also why Iwaizumi chose to stay under the shades. _Well, what can I say, all great minds are alike._ It might be a joking remark from Oikawa-sensei’s point of view, but to Iwaizumi it’s his greatest compliment to date.

“Can I ask you something personal, Sensei?” Iwaizumi asked. His teacher nodded at the request. “It’s about Tooru. He, uh, he’s insisting on joining the imperial guards.”

“I know,” Sensei inhaled softly as he speaks. “He’s quite a handful when that stubbornness of his is showing.”

“Ugh, tell me about it,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. Oikawa-sensei chuckles and Iwaizumi quickly turns back to the question he had in mind. “It’s a bit different this time though. At first I thought it was just, I don’t know, a dream of his? But he gets really sensitive around the topic.”

“Let me guess, you made the mistake of telling him that he can still retake the exam next year if things don’t work out now.”

“Nah, I made the mistake of suggesting him to join the main military for experience before trying out for the imperial royal guards. You know, like how most people do,” Iwaizumi added a hint of sarcasm in his voice, the memories of the petty argument is still fresh in his mind.

“Oh my, how did that end up?” An apologetic smile appeared in Oikawa-sensei’s face.

“Let’s just say, the only reason I’m still alive now is because murder is a crime punishable by law.”

Oikawa-sensei laughs, freely, and it sounded a lot like Tooru. Correction, it sounded like Tooru when he has nothing up his sleeve.

“Sorry, I’m curious, so…”

“It’s alright,” Sensei gave Iwaizumi a pat on the back. “I was curious as well. Especially after some high-ranking officers approached me at the imperial palace and asked me to have Tooru change his mind.”

Whoa, so Hideaki wasn’t exaggerating when he said Tooru is currently Edo’s next big thing.

“In Tooru’s defense I never asked this to him and I doubt he’ll tell me if I do. But often a parent has this sort of hunches, you know,” Oikawa-sensei started. “Well, guessing from our dinner table conversations, I think Tooru is trying so hard for the imperial guards because he wants to stay in Edo.”

Iwaizumi didn’t immediately understand the logic behind that reason. “But some imperial guards are assigned to missions in outer cities as well.”

“True, but still fairly rare compared to military officers,” Sensei says. He lightly rubs his chin, which can only mean that he’s considering something. “Actually, to be more precise, I think he’s aiming for the imperial royal guards because he wants to be around the castle.”

It slapped some realization into Iwaizumi. He has a good shot at guessing to why that is.

“Well he did grow up on castle grounds,” Oikawa-sensei pretty much talked to himself. “Following me around during rounds. That was until he met you and Hideaki-sama. After that he only comes with me so he can use the main entrance.”

Iwaizumi laughs. That part is true. The castle’s main entrance is only intended for guests and government officials working around the grounds. Servants, delivery men, and little boys wanting to play have to use the side entrance and it is a good fifteen minute walk away from the residence area.

“Now look at him.”

Instead of looking at Tooru, Iwaizumi throws his full attention towards his teacher and found the gazing look in his eyes. There’s bitter-sweetness in those stares; proud of his son’s achievements yet terrified of the path he’s chosen.

“I remember holding him for the first time. Tiny, fragile and crying for his mom because apparently I was shaking too much.” They shared a small laugh. “I wanted to watch him grow, but at the end, I wasn’t always there for him.”

Sensei, have you seen _my_ father? But Iwaizumi knows better than ruining the moment.

“I’m Edo castle’s court physician. I look after the shogun, the reigning family and everyone directly affiliated with them but that leaves me little time to care for my own son’s well being.”

Iwaizumi felt bad.

“I am in debt to you, Hajime-sama,” Sensei said with a smile to lift up the unexpected gloomy atmosphere. “You’ve always been there for Tooru, even at times when I couldn’t.”

“You taught me everything I know. That is something I can never repay,” Iwaizumi said. Then something came to mind. “But I can try.”

Oikawa-sensei raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll look after him,” Iwaizumi declares with confidence. He turns to face his teacher and bowed his head, “Please entrust Tooru to me, Oikawa-sensei. I will look after him, take good care of him, patch him when he’s wounded and cure him when he’s ill. I will be there for him, so you don’t have to worry because you know your son is well taken care of. So please, Sensei, do trust me with Tooru.”

Oikawa-sensei is taken aback by both the request and the eagerness. He hasn’t seen Iwaizumi this serious since the time he had to convince the imperial court to let him pursue medicine. Oikawa-sensei didn’t immediately respond, instead a soft laugh is heard and Iwaizumi looks up for a peek. The prince found his teacher beaming with smile.

“For a moment there it felt like you’re asking my permission to marry him,” Sensei chuckled. Iwaizumi’s face turned red, so very painfully red and he cannot decide whether its the embarrassment of being teased or the fear of being caught red-handed by his lover’s father—and his teacher, __oh dear gods__.

“This kindness of yours, Hajime-sama, the warmth that pushes you and your siblings to care for the people around you. They remind me of the late queen."

Oikawa-sensei gently pats the top of Iwaizumi’s head. It took Iwaizumi by surprise because no one’s ever done that to him before, not even Tooru. Then Sensei lightly ruffles his hair and Iwaizumi understood why no one ever did. It’s not a friendly gesture nor a romantic one, it is parental love.

“You’ve grown into a fine, caring man, Hajime-sama. I believe your mother is very proud of you.”

 

****London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)** **

Considering their long, unresolved argument from both past and present, regarding both personal and professional matters, it is peculiar to find both Hajime and Tooru lying on the same bed. Oikawa is using the blanket to himself though, while Iwaizumi gets the pillow. It was a long argument to itself. Iwaizumi insist Oikawa to use his bed since he’s still recovering and all, but Oikawa refuses saying that he’s intruding the homeowner—also Iwaizumi has been sleeping in sitting position by the dining table for three nights now. After what felt like hours of wasted time and energy, they agreed that sharing the bed makes more sense than not using it at all. So there they are. Side by side, sharing the only furniture in Hajime’s room meant for sleeping. While their shoulders press together, there is unresolved tension separating them. At least the shouting stopped, and so has the sarcastic remarks.

Oikawa lies on his back as he isn’t allowed put too much pressure on his shoulder. Iwaizumi probably should sleep on his side to provide more space, but the idea of turning his back on Oikawa is for some reason unsettling. It would make him feel rejected, Iwaizumi thought.

“My father sent his regards.”

For Oikawa to start a conversation is beyond Iwaizumi’s expectation. He thought Oikawa would give him the silent treatment again, either from petty anger or exhaustion.

“Oh,” Hajime couldn’t immediately respond.

“He’s looking forward to see you again.” If Iwaizumi didn’t know Tooru or his Sensei any better, he would think it’s one of Tooru’s dirty tricks to guilt him into returning to Edo.

“I have so much I want to tell him,” Iwaizumi says. Make that two Oikawas he sincerely misses.

 _More reasons for you to come back_ , is what Oikawa would usually say. But their dynamics isn’t usual, not in the slightest sense of it. Instead, Oikawa turns to face Iwaizumi. The prince caught the gesture from the corner of his eye and reacted accordingly.

“Thank you,” Oikawa said in whisper the exact moment Iwaizumi faced him. “Thank you for saving me.”

It came as a surprise, a very pleasant surprise that it drove Iwaizumi to lay on his side facing Oikawa.

“I’ll do anything for you,” Iwaizumi said in all honestly.

 _Then would you return to Edo for me?_  But Oikawa wouldn’t exploit their past relationship to achieve his mission goals. He’s better than that.

“To answer your question from back then, Tooru,” Iwaizumi says before Oikawa has the chance to look away. _Did you ever love me?_  Oikawa had ask with heartbreak written all over his face. “I did. I truly loved you, with all my heart and with everything I’ve got. You’re my world and I’ll be damned if anything happened to you.”

“Is that why you left in the middle of the night without bothering to tell me anything?” Oikawa replies without a moment to waste. It didn’t sound rushed though, it didn’t sound like he’s intentionally trying to rub guilt all over Iwaizumi’s face. It was an error in reasoning that Oikawa needs to find answers to. “You even got Hideaki to play along your little scheme.”

“There’s a reason—” Iwaizumi choked at his own words.

Luckily, Oikawa saved them from uncomfortable silence. “I know there is. There has to be. It’s just... so suffocating at times, I really wished I knew what it was.”

There is something in Oikawa’s eyes that Iwaizumi’s never able to put his finger on. They’re proud and confident at most times, intimidating during battles -especially sword fights- and sly during strategic meetings, yet raw and vulnerable when confronting his well-kept emotions.

“You have every right to be angry with me—”

“I was never angry, Hajime,” Oikawa said slowly. He takes a soft breath and closes his eyes for another (hopefully successful) attempt to fall asleep, “I was hurt.”

It doesn’t seem like Oikawa wants to reveal any more than that, and Iwaizumi isn’t sure he’s ready for this conversation just yet.

*

When Iwaizumi woke up the following morning, Oikawa’s face is the first that came to sight. It used to make Iwaizumi’s heart feel lighter. Well, to some extent it still does. But the trail of dried tears going down Oikawa’s cheeks punched a hole in Iwaizumi’s chest.

_Forgive me, Sensei, I have failed you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! It’s been too long, I am so deeply sorry for the delay TT___TT Life is being ruthless at the moment and of course that made an impact on my updates. Anywho, I still plan to finish this! As you can see, I already have a set number of chapters for this story. That means I have the whole draft finished :D I do tend to underestimate my word count though, so there is still a possibility for me to add 1 more chapter to the count. Like this update for example, it exceeds 8.9k words hahaa but I’m gonna let it slip since it’s been months since my last post (gasp).
> 
> So, any ideas on Hajime and Hideaki’s feud yet? Or the reason why Hajime left? I’m so excited for the next chapters because I’m about to reveal some big things regarding everyone--yes, everyone! (Okay, well, except for Daichi and Suga since they’re not originally from Edo)
> 
> Hikari and Hideaki’s part went overboard as I only intended it as a mini-update on how things are in Edo. I think I’m a bit too attached to Hideaki’s character for some reason… Also, I apologize beforehand if Iwa and Oikawa’s characters are too OOC (especially Iwa, I’d say) and sappy. I’m currently practicing writing romance in a non-cringy way, so feedback is highly appreciated!
> 
> And if it’s not too late to say, I wish you all a very happy new year!


	6. A Military Strategy (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > I was yours until you threw me away. 

****London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)** **

Iwaizumi missed this, but he didn’t dare to say it out loud. He missed waking up to the frills of Oikawa’s hair all over his face. He missed offering Oikawa a faint __good morning__ and getting an incoherent response. Iwaizumi missed preparing simple somethings by the bedside table, because even at full health Oikawa had difficulties waking up early mornings. He missed catching Oikawa’s curious glances as he works through his paper documents, as he flips through medical journals or as he scribble notes here and there. He missed coming out of the bath to a dining table set with home cooked meals. Iwaizumi missed washing the dishes afterwards and he missed making a pot full of piping hot tea for them to share until late into the night. He missed taking care of Oikawa and being cared by him in return. Iwaizumi missed it all, but he said nothing because who knows, maybe it’ll spook Oikawa and burst their momentary bubble. So Iwaizumi does what any man hopelessly, painfully in love would do: savour the moment.

It was another silent night after a productive day for either of them; Iwaizumi working through the notes from Oikawa-sensei and Tooru managing house chores.

“I need to get groceries,” Iwaizumi noted. He has a chemical report in one hand and a cup of warm Earl Grey in the other. Iwaizumi offered Oikawa, who is sitting by the window pane, a small glance. “Do you want anything specific?”

“Bread,” Oikawa simply said. “The soft and sweet kind, not the one with grains.”

 _Milk bread,_ Iwaizumi said to himself.

“And I want to come with you,” Oikawa adds.

“No,” Iwaizumi said hastily in response. “No, you are recovering.”

“It’s been a week,” Oikawa protested.

“From what could have killed you,” Iwaizumi adds in a matter of fact. The way Oikawa folds his hands across his chest shows protest. “Besides I need to drop by the hospital.”

“Doesn’t matter, I’m going,” Oikawa insisted.

Iwaizumi sighed.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to do since I arrived,” Oikawa admitted.

“What, you have a side mission on top of convincing me to return? My brother is mean.”

“Hideaki is too busy with our border issues to even come up with the idea. This is something I figured on my own,” Oikawa says. He sets his tea cup aside and gave Iwaizumi a sharp look, one he hasn’t shown since their attack, “And you’re not going to stop me.”

 

****Edo, 1833 / Hajime, Tooru (20)** **

“Hey Trashykawa, you’re out late today.” Iwaizumi has both hands on his hips as he stood by the mansion entrance, looking over a stumbling Oikawa as he tries to unbuckle his boots without needing to crouch.

 _What are you, my mom?_ Oikawa would usually tort, but surprisingly not today.

“Aww, did you miss me?” But of course, whatever comeback Oikawa has in mind would still find a way to tickle Iwaizumi’s nerves.

“You’re two hours later than usual, dumbass,” Iwaizumi says. “I was beginning to wonder if you took a wrong turn and ended up in the forest.”

“So mean, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whined as he battles to get off of his own gear.

Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders. “I mean it happened before—”

“I was six, for crying out loud!”

Iwaizumi chuckles and then decides to help Oikawa untangle his way out of buckle of side armor.

“My mother home?” Oikawa asked once he finally gets himself free.

“Yeah, she’s in the kitchen making dinn—”

The first thing Oikawa did as he steps into the residence is capture his boyfriend’s lips into his own. It was chaste, cheeky and very Tooru-esque. He pulls away with a satisfied grin, and of course Iwaizumi can’t be angry at that.

“I’m back.”

“Welcome home.” Iwaizumi takes Oikawa by his waist and presses a kiss—a proper one this time. Oikawa smiles as their lips latch and their tongues brush against one and another.

“Alright lover boy, that’s enough,” Oikawa wriggles away from Iwaizumi’s hold. “My mom is in the kitchen, have mercy on me.”

“Then you might as well not tempt me to begin with,” Iwaizumi claims one last kiss before finally letting go. “Where were you anyways?”

“Captains’ round up. Guests from our neighboring country is coming next week, considering the tricky situation we have along our north-eastern borders, extra security measures are expected,” Oikawa steps in, taking Iwaizumi’s hand with his, “You’re staying for dinner, yes?”

“After your mother then Sensei and now you offering me dinner, I’m starting to think that the Oikawas are conspiring to make me fat.”

“Fat is not a nice word, Iwa-chan. I prefer snuggly, fluffy, or easier to hug--you’re free to choose.”

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi says under his breath. But he doesn’t let go of Tooru’s hand. Instead, he lets the other take lead as they enter the house. It would have been another fine evening at the Oikawas. Homemade food, familial conversations, hot tea afterwards—or wine when they feel like it. Iwaizumi was looking forward to it. He could smell the chicken stew coming from the kitchen, he can hear Tooru chopping vegetables for the side dish, he already set the table with Oikawa-sensei—when a servant came by and informed them of a visitor.

Before Iwaizumi or Oikawa-sensei was given a chance to react, an imperial royal guard appeared from the hallway, still in his full uniform which means that he came for official matters. The guard could be there for any of them: for Oikawa-sensei seeing that he’s the court physician, for Tooru since he’s a squadron captain, or for young prince Iwaizumi. Imperial guards rarely come for Iwaizumi though, they focus more on the Shogun, the crown prince and the castle grounds. However, today’s case is an exception as the guard said, “The Shogun calls for an audience, Hajime-sama.”

“Huh?” Iwaizumi and Oikawa-seinsei reacted in unison.

“For who now?” Even Tooru popped from the kitchen in surprise.

“His highness is awaiting your arrival in the main hall,” the guard said.

Iwaizumi turned to face Tooru, hoping for some kind of hint to the sudden request but Tooru raised his shoulders.

“What’s the occasion?” Tooru took the initiative to ask.

“Apologies Captain, I’m not in liberty to say.”

“The hell does he want,” Iwaizumi said under his breath, just loud enough for him and Tooru who came to his side to hear.

“Well there is a big diplomatic meeting next week. It could be a reigning family matter,” Tooru said.

“Can’t it wait till tomorrow?” Iwaizumi asked, and the guard shakes his head.

“Must be an urgent matter,” Oikawa-sensei commented.

“I’m not Hideaki, what could the Shogun possibly want with me at such timing?” Iwaizumi protested.

“Only one way to find out,” Tooru said, disappointment also in his voice. Iwaizumi would have refused but doing so would only give the Oikawas a bad image in front of the Shogun. So he did the grown-up thing to do and prepares to leave. He apologized to Tooru’s mother after she put the effort to cook extras and to Oikawa-sensei as well. Tooru walked him to the door and after the guard exits the mansion, kissed Iwaizumi goodbye.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” Tooru says.

“Of course,” Iwaizumi answers, remorse still evident in his voice as he is forced to leave early. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

****London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)** **

Oikawa would rather die a thousand deaths than admit Iwaizumi’s right—that’s how he’s been seven years ago and that’s still how he is now. Just because he is healthy enough to walk around the apartment, does not mean he is ready to stroll around town—and not to mention, town as big and hectic as London. Oikawa lets out a deep sigh as he looks up the last flight of stairs needed to reach Iwaizumi’s loft apartment. It’s steep and narrow, to some extent it made him feel claustrophobic. He slowly climbs up the stairs, feeling the weight of the bag in his hand in addition to his own exhausted body and sore muscles. Oikawa began to wonder how Iwaizumi managed to bring him into the apartment after the chasing incident. He’s strong enough to do so, that is without question, though the thought of Iwaizumi carrying him made Oikawa blush.

“You good?” Speak of the devil.

Iwaizumi comes down after unlocking the door and placing his hospital work and groceries in the apartment. Oikawa shook his head, signing that he’s alright, but Iwaizumi came to his aid regardless.

“I can hear your breathing from a kilometer away, of course you’re fine,” he said sarcastically. Iwaizumi takes away the bag Oikawa is holding and quickly goes back up, as if mocking Oikawa’s inability to get himself move in a normal pace. Oikawa would have fought back if only his one arm wasn’t wrapped in a sling. Iwaizumi installed it for him earlier in the morning and Oikawa (silently) admits, it does help ease the strain on his wounded shoulder.

When Oikawa entered the apartment, Iwaizumi is already in the midst of unpacking. Groceries from the market, bread from the bakery, a staple of paper work from the hospital. However, Iwaizumi quickly approached Oikawa once he appeared. He held the back of Oikawa’s coat, and unlike that time at the tea house, Oikawa now understands the gesture. He slowly slides his arm with the wounded shoulder out before swiftly getting his other arm out of the coat. Iwaizumi proceeds with the sling, he unties the buckle and carefully frees Oikawa from the hold. Oikawa gave it a few experimental stretches and both were relieved knowing the sling served its purpose.

“Do you mind preparing dinner again tonight? You’re the better cook between us after all.”

“I’m the only one who can cook between us.”

Iwaizumi’s heart unnecessarily skipped a beat at Oikawa’s response. It’s been going on the whole day and Iwaizumi shames himself for reacting like a smitten teenager. Oikawa’s response not only it reminded him of the banters from their childhood days, but it’s also a wide step ahead from how they were a few days before.

“Of course,” Iwaizumi gives in. “I’ll translate the news articles we got from the library.”

That _something_ Oikawa had mentioned the other day is looking for intel.

Iwaizumi is positively surprised when Oikawa said he wanted to gather information regarding the north-eastern kingdom from the British perspective and he is even more astounded when he found out that Oikawa has been studying the language during his three month trip overseas. Just the alphabet to read maps, Oikawa said, but it shows his dedication (and intelligence) nonetheless. They spent half the day at the central library to gather information, skimming through books and maps and any kind of information carrying document regarding the Shogunate’s current threat. However, Iwaizumi must admit, he was more invested in Tooru than the search. It’s been a while, a very long while since he last saw this side of Oikawa. The studious, diligent, cunning and slightly scheming side of him that defines the kind of strategist Oikawa is. At the end Iwaizumi stuck with translating while Oikawa decides which is relevant.

“Can you summarize the books we got as well? It’s not like I’m going to take them with me to Edo.”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi said as he pulls a chair to begin his work. “Next time I’ll find maps that you can bring back home as well.”

 _Home_. Iwaizumi unconsciously referred Edo as his home, regardless what’s happened.

“That’ll be great,” Oikawa says. A few seconds later he reappears from the kitchen. With both hands on his back as he tries to tie an apron, Oikawa approaches the dining table. He managed a loose tie and proceeds to take the grocery bag from earlier. “Is vegetable soup alright?”

“Yes, thanks for your hard work.” Iwaizumi looks up and found Oikawa responding with a small chuckle.

Iwaizumi takes pride in the fact that he’s seen most of the many different expressions coming from Oikawa’s eyes. He can see the determination when the other is on duty, the slyness when he’s working up cunning schemes during a strategic debate, the tenderness when they hold each other at night. The look Oikawa gave just now is no longer distant. It’s no longer in pain like how they were after the attack and no longer pressured like when he first arrived. It was a look Iwaizumi has known all his life and kept in his memory, the look Oikawa gives when they’re not a prince and a military strategist. The look from many, many years ago when they were slowly, gradually falling for each other. It was too brief to tell but Iwaizumi likes to think that maybe, just maybe, Oikawa wants to relive their intimate days as well.

 

****Edo, 1833 / Hajime (20)** **

Iwaizumi arrived at the Edo castle’s main hall a lot faster than usual. Maybe it’s the empty streets that allowed the horse carriage to move faster, or the guard’s hasty steps that pushed Iwaizumi to keep up, or maybe it’s the uncomfortable feeling of being summoned late at night by the nation’s leader. Two imperial guards stationed outside the main hall pushed the massive wooden doors open while the one escorting him announced his arrival. Iwaizumi hesitated before entering. At the far side of the hall, where the throne stands, is his father, the Shogun. He is engulfed in the parchment paper in his hand and it took a few seconds until he gestured them to come forth. Iwaizumi takes a step, but the imperial guard bows and exits the hall, leaving Iwaizumi and the Shogun alone. Hideaki isn’t there and Iwaizumi wonders if his brother’s absence makes the atmosphere better or worse.

“Hajime, welcome,” the Shogun greets. It has been __years__ since Hajime heard his father call his name. “I have exciting news.”

Iwaizumi doesn’t like this.

“I’ve figured a way to settle the recent tension we have with our neighboring country.”

Iwaizumi’s legs felt heavier.

“And it is our duty as the reigning family to see it through, is it not?”

 

****London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)** **

It started after dinner. Oikawa prepared food, Iwaizumi set the table. That’s how they did it back in Edo and that’s how they do it in London. Unlike their evening meals before, they have enough to discuss. They went through the books and news articles regarding the north-eastern kingdom from the library. They expanded the maps written in Latin alphabet with Hideaki in mind, Oikawa is more or less capable of reading it but not those back in Edo. For a short while Iwaizumi’s small apartment felt like the spacey study in Edo castle’s residential quarters where Oikawa and Hideaki share thoughts. It felt like the garden terrace where Hikari tutors Oikawa. It felt like Edo castle’s main court during strategic meetings are held where Hideaki sits beside the Shogun as his successor, Oikawa by the round table as captain of the imperial guards and Hajime further away as he is merely fulfilling his attendance as a member of the reigning family.

Afterwards, Iwaizumi continues by examining the wound on Oikawa’s shoulder. Still nothing unusual. At first Oikawa sat on his chair, but the angle is too low for Iwaizumi to check the drying edges so he moves to sit on the table. It didn’t take long for Iwaizumi to conclude that the critical part is over. The wound should heal in weeks and the effects of the toxin should be gone by then as well. Iwaizumi didn’t immediately pull away after the examination though. With better lighting and angle, Iwaizumi found scars on the base of Oikawa’s neck that weren’t there seven years ago. He knows because there is not a single inch on Oikawa’s body he hasn’t touched, kissed, loved.

“Defense training,” Oikawa reasoned. “The neck and other joints are weak points because they aren’t covered in armor.”

“You should have cleaned them immediately so they wouldn’t be as visible after healing,” Iwaizumi said. He runs a finger over a light-colored scar.

“Does it matter? Nobody’s going to see them anyways.”

The sentence suggests a lot.

“Of course it matters,” Iwaizumi says. His fingers move to button up Oikawa’s shirt. “You’re beautiful. It would be a shame if anything happened.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” Iwaizumi says with confidence. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Iwaizumi moves forward as he continues without thinking, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever held.”

 _I was yours until you threw me away_. Oikawa didn’t voice his mind. He wanted to, add more salt to the wound that is Iwaizumi struggling to hold himself back.

“You still are,” Iwaizumi continues heavily. He pulls his hands away but still hovering by Oikawa’s neck. “You always will be.”

Iwaizumi is now standing right in front of Oikawa. His back arches as he  lowers his face to press their foreheads together. Oikawa, surprisingly, plays along. He faces up and has his eyes closed. His hands clench the front of Iwaizumi’s shirt, as if forbidding him to take a step away but not allowing him to come any closer.

“Has there been anyone while I was gone?” Iwaizumi asks.

“Perhaps,” Oikawa answers.

“Tell me.”

“You won’t like it.”

Iwaizumi growls at the response. Those words, coming from Oikawa who is a master strategist, can mean many things. Either to purposely rile him, or as an act of petty anger for revenge, or, what Iwaizumi fears most, an honest answer.

“Who was it?”

“Not you, that’s for certain.”

Iwaizumi lets out a harsh breath and felt his heartbeat racing. “Give me a name.” He knows he has no right to be angry, to feel hurt or betrayed, because if anyone is allowed to feel so it is Oikawa. But god have mercy on him as Oikawa leans in closer, as if making sure that his following words pierce where it hurts most.

“I can give you multiple names but it’s none of your goddamn business.”

Iwaizumi cursed, loud and clear. He vocalizes his anger, his jealousy, neglecting the possibility that Oikawa is doing it on purpose to get back on him.

“People say you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. But it’s not like that, is it, Hajime? Truth is, you knew exactly what you had. You just thought you’d never lose it,” Oikawa says. “At least I thought I’d never lose it.”

Suddenly they’re in each others’ personal space, breathing the same air. Iwaizumi stands against the table and between Oikawa’s parted legs which are hanging down. Oikawa slightly leans back and lets Iwaizumi’s hand hold his nape. There is barely any space between them as their abdomens brush against each other. Iwaizumi looks down while Oikawa’s eyes shoot up, sharing a deep stare. Iwaizumi fought, with all his might, not to do anything stupid. Like bend down to kiss Oikawa, for example. So he settled with placing his other arm at the small of Oikawa’s back. Unfortunately Iwaizumi’s resolve only remained a short while. There’s only so much he could do against seven years of separation, against the painfully abrupt end of their relationship, against the pent up frustration by having Oikawa literally under his fingertips yet unreachable. There’s only so much Iwaizumi could withhold, especially when Oikawa bit his lower lip while visibly trying to regain his composure as well. The following second Iwaizumi leans down and plants a brief kiss onto his ex-lover’s lips. Quick, light and barely enough to compensate the painful years they’ve spent apart.

Iwaizumi was ready to take the blame. He was ready for a fist against his face, a slap on his cheek, a shove on his chest but there was nothing. There was nothing but an enigmatic look on Oikawa’s eyes, his jaw slightly parts open following the chaste kiss Iwaizumi gave him following his crumbling self control. Iwaizumi could have come up with a thousand excuses -heat of the moment, I’m drowsy, we had one too much to drink, etc- but he decides not to. In fact, Iwaizumi wants Oikawa to know that he still has feelings for him. He wants Oikawa to know that he still longs for him, dreams of him, fantasize about holding him down and pleasuring him and kissing the senses out of him.

Iwaizumi was ready for a raging fit, but what came is something beyond Iwaizumi’s wildest dreams. It is as if Oikawa could read his mind, Iwaizumi’s deepest darkest filthiest mind, as he says, “Go on, do it.”

With the touch of their lips, everything broke down. The walls Oikawa surrounded himself with, the distance Iwaizumi insisted upon them, everything. What started as a gentle peck, full of uncertainty and insecurity heated up in mere seconds. Iwaizumi pushes further into the kiss. Deeper, messier, hungrier and Oikawa takes it all. He passively took it all, even tilted his head to give Iwaizumi a better angle, until Iwaizumi eventually slows down for air. That’s when Oikawa takes his turn. He grabs Iwaizumi by the sides of his face, plunged his fingers in the midst of his short black hair and pulls him closer. Oikawa’s kiss is equally needy, if not more, and more selfish than Iwaizumi’s.

“Hold me,” Oikawa barely voiced. “Hold me tighter.”

Iwaizumi does as told. However, by the way Oikawa wraps his legs around Iwaizumi’s waist and his arms thrown over his shoulders, Iwaizumi doesn’t really have any other choice.

“Don’t let me go.”

With their lips latched, tongues swirling around each other, heavy moans escaping, Iwaizumi managed to hoist Oikawa off the table and took wobbly steps towards the bed.

“Iwa,” Oikawa breathes out as his back falls to the bed. “Oh gods—”

Oikawa throws his face aside, but with Iwaizumi hovering above him there is nothing that can be done to hide the obvious splash of red on his face. Oikawa uses an arm to cover his eyes and his other to hide half of his face, which is unfortunate for him because he missed probably the most tender look Iwaizumi has given out in years.

“Don’t hide your face,” Iwaizumi said softly. “Let me look at you.”

Oikawa does nothing as Iwaizumi takes his wrists and sets their intertwined hands at either side of his head, now open and exposed in Iwaizumi’s line of sight. Oikawa still faces aside though, refusing to have his eyes meet Iwaizumi’s. Despite the dim lightning, Iwaizumi can see the shade of red taking over Oikawa’s cheeks clearly. He can see Oikawa’s eyes beginning to flutter and his breath heavier, as they always do every time he’s pressed between some flat surface and Iwaizumi’s body.

“Gorgeous,” Iwaizumi breathes out. He buries his face at the crook of Oikawa’s neck. Licking, nibbling, sucking every inch of skin he can get. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

Oikawa whimpers at the praise -or the touch, he can’t decide- and turns his head to feel Iwaizumi’s face pressed onto his neck.

“Haji—me,” Oikawa could hardly muster his voice. “Kiss me more, please.”

Iwaizumi lifts his face. He held his breath upon hearing Oikawa’s request. Iwaizumi leans himself closer.

“Where?” Iwaizumi asked with his voice huskier than Oikawa remembered. “Tell me, Oikawa. Where do you want me to kiss you?”

Iwaizumi moves in closer until the bridge of their nose touch. Oikawa took his time before answering and Iwaizumi doesn’t mind, because he too is overwhelmed by just being this close to the man he never thought he’d hold again.

“Everywhere,” Oikawa whispered. He lifts his face and brushed his lips to Iwaizumi’s cheek bone. “Please, kiss me everywhere.”

Iwaizumi doesn’t need to be told twice. He does, however, takes a moment to say, “Only if you watch me.”

It’s not that Iwaizumi has a kink, it’s more because he wants Oikawa to see how he cares for him, treasures him, holds him. Iwaizumi moves to catch Oikawa’s lips into his, muffling every ahhs and ohhs that escaped. He pushed his tongue into Oikawa’s mouth and began exploring every corner of it. It is as if Oikawa melted into the touch. He whimpered, moaned and occasionally breaths out a very arousing please every time Iwaizumi touches the right spots.

Feeling enough of Oikawa’s lips and mouth, Iwaizumi left a trail of kisses as he heads to Oikawa’s ear. His excitement is sparked when he realized that they’re still as sensitive as before. Oikawa gasped as Iwaizumi started licking the shell. A shiver raced up his spine and Oikawa buried his fingers into Iwaizumi’s upper arm as an effort to keep his ground, especially when Iwaizumi slides his hands under Oikawa’s shirt.

“Like this?” Iwaizumi asked. It’s a rhetorical question though, he knows when Oikawa is overloaded with sensations. Iwaizumi just loves hearing Oikawa struggling to muster a confirmation, or anxiously nodding an answer. Today he got a little bit of both.

Iwaizumi continued his quest. He traced the way down Oikawa’s jawline to his neck, while the fingers that were skimming under Oikawa’s shirt made their way to his nipple. Without warning Iwaizumi pinched, earning a held-back scream from Oikawa and an arousal from his lower regions.

“Iwa—oh, gods. Ah, Hajime—”

Beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Iwaizumi could do this all day. He could touch every inch of Oikawa, focus on the places that makes him feel the most and just watch as Oikawa squirms and drowns in pleasure.

“Can you take your shirt off for me, baby?”

The pet name slipped out so naturally. Iwaizumi was too concentrated on peppering Oikawa’s neck with kisses to notice—he also missed the way Oikawa’s eyes shoot open at the request.

“N-no, I... ah, leave it on.”

Iwaizumi lifts his head to meet Oikawa’s shaky answer.

“But then I won’t be able to give these the attention they need,” Iwaizumi said with his voice raspy as he flicks both Oikawa’s nipples from under his shirt. With his face held up, Iwaizumi got front row seats to Oikawa’s lewd gasp. Iwaizumi runs one hand down Oikawa’s chest while the other teased the bud even further. His hand reached Oikawa’s navel and he traces the rim ever so tortuously gentle, “Or lick around here.”

Oikawa lets out a cry that sounded like it came from a wet dream.

“Didn’t you tell me to kiss you everywhere, Tooru?”

Oikawa squirms at the sensation, but with Iwaizumi pressing their bodies close, there was nowhere he can go. Iwaizumi moves back up to nibble around the shell of Oikawa’s ear, breathing heavily and gently blowing into his ear, knowing fully what that does to turn Oikawa on.

“Oh, I get it now,” Iwaizumi says under his breath. “You want me to undress you, is that it?”

“N-no, ah,” a moan escaped in between Oikawa’s reply. “Moving my right shoulder still -ah- hurts.”

It slapped some senses into Iwaizumi, the senses that was pushed back by the heat of the moment and suppressed lust. Iwaizumi’s hand unconsciously stopped teasing Oikawa’s nipples, his leg swifts down from rubbing the tightness of Oikawa’s crotch, and his face pulls back slightly but still within Oikawa’s reach.

“Don’t—stop,” Oikawa whimpered at the loss.  “Hajime—I, ah, I need you. Now—please, right now. Please.”

Iwaizumi pushes himself up with his arm. His face now hovers above Oikawa’s and their eyes meet. “Are you sure?”

Oikawa can only muster a nod. For some reason Iwaizumi doesn’t look convinced.

“I don’t think I—” Iwaizumi looks away, “I don’t think I can hold back.”

 _I don’t want to hurt you_ , is what Iwaizumi really wanted to say. But that coming from him, the one who shattered Oikawa’s heart, is a joke if not an insult.

This time Oikawa’s the one to reach out and capture Iwaizumi’s lips onto his. He shifts his position to support himself and still get a hold on Iwaizumi’s nape. Iwaizumi slightly pulls back but Oikawa doesn’t let him. He tilts his head more to taste Iwaizumi’s lips. Oikawa pulls Iwaizumi down with one hand while his other travels south to tug the hem of Iwaizumi’s pants.

“So don’t.”

Iwaizumi snaps. Two simplistic words moaned out of Oikawa’s lips was all it took.

“How do you want it?” Iwaizumi asked as his hands work down Oikawa’s pants. “Tell me babe, I’ll do it like you want me to.”

Oikawa’s breath paced as he too struggles to undo Iwaizumi’s clothing.

“On your knees, so I can reach the deepest parts of you?” Iwaizumi asked, Oikawa shivered by sheer imagination.

“On my lap, so you can have full control?” Iwaizumi asked the question, but by the way he’s abusing Oikawa with kisses he’s giving the latter few chances to let out an answer.

“Iwa—Iwa—ah—”

“Perhaps on your side? I know it’s your favorite,” Iwaizumi merely whispered but with his lips nibbling the skin under Oikawa’s ear, it was loud enough to earn a thirsty reaction from Oikawa. “It’s my favorite too, you know, I get to see you—all of you, every inch of you, every reaction you make and every time you let yourself go.”

Iwaizumi roams one hand from Oikawa’s chest and down across his stomach. He intentionally rubs across Oikawa’s leaking cock, giving it a few teasing pumps and felt the satisfaction hearing the needy whimper Oikawa made, before finally finding its place in the inner side of Oikawa’s thigh.

“Let’s go with that, yeah? Spread your legs for me—”

Oikawa obliged when Iwaizumi spreads him wide, open and vulnerable, but he gives a throaty, “W-wait—”

Iwaizumi lifts his head and looks back.

“Iwa—wait, I want—” Oikawa struggled hard to sound coherent. “I want to—lie down, on my back. Let’s do it like that.”

“On your back,” Iwaizumi repeats, his voice considerably clearer than Oikawa’s.

“On my back,” Oikawa breathes out. He deliberately opens his legs further apart and uses his feet to pull Iwaizumi closer towards him. Then Oikawa wraps his arms over Iwaizumi’s broad shoulders and starts returning his kisses, “I want to—look at you, and feel you—on top of me.”

_So erotic._

“On your back it is,” Iwaizumi confirmed and kisses Oikawa full on the lips as he positions himself between Oikawa’s legs, rubbing their throbbing members together before he carefully prodes a finger into Oikawa. “Just like our first time.”

“Like our—first time,” Oikawa mindlessly repeats. He winched at the intrusion but doesn’t stop Iwaizumi from pushing in deeper, knuckle after knuckle.

“I’ll make you feel good,” Iwaizumi moves to kiss Oikawa, muffling the gasps and winces that escapes, especially when he slips in more fingers and curls them to reach his prostate. “So call for me, moan my name.”

Oikawa does as told, willingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hello, yes I know it’s been decades since my last update but I want you guys to know that I don’t plan to abandon this one! I had so much to tackle the past few weeks and it was basically impossible for me to write fics, but hey hey hey guess who just graduated :D So about this chapter, I originally planned to cover the whole of Iwaizumi’s back story in this chapter but it went too long and I still haven’t come up with the right words yet, so I’ve decided to split the chapter in two. I’d love to hear your opinions guys :3


	7. A Military Strategy (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > It should bother him, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t because now Oikawa sees, this distorted thing they share, maybe this is their very own version of what love is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I jump back and forth quite a lot and randomly in this chapter, do check the time and place description written in bold before each section ^^

****Edo, 1833 / Tooru (20)** **

After a draining session at work, Oikawa is not in the mood to entertain whoever it is throwing pebbles to his window. That, and not being able to see his lover for three whole days finally took a toll on his patience. Besides, he’s in the middle of polishing his hand-tempered katana—that definitely has priority over some weirdo throwing pebbles onto his window this late at night. Clink. Clink. _Clink_. The throws are persistent, much to Oikawa’s dislike, and as the fifth pebble actually landed on the crown of his head, Oikawa jumps up and stomps his way to shoo whoever it is disturbing his peace and quiet.

“Took you long enough.”

It’s Iwaizumi. Standing with his whole weight on one foot, casually tucking a hand into the band of his yukata while the other offers a casual wave. He has a bored look on his face and his lips move as if saying a silent _hey yo_.

“The hell you’re doing.”

It’s been three days and Oikawa demands more than an annoying _hey yo._

“Open the windows.”

“You’re not the boss of me,” Oikawa torts, but he does as told regardless. Oikawa somewhat hates the effect Iwaizumi has on him. The way that childhood friend of his paves a way back into his heart, the way he sweeps him off his feet, the way his lackluster grin brought relief, the way his boyfriend of almost three years always gets his way—and Oikawa wonders if Iwaizumi realizes that he holds such power against him.

“I’m climbing up, alright?”

“I know the Oikawa residence doesn’t have a grandiose entrance gate like the Edo castle but we do have a front door, you know.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Iwaizumi preps himself to climb his way into the mansion. Oikawa’s room is in the second floor but there is a shed for gardening tools built below his window. They used it to practice wall climbing back in military school, despite Oikawa’s mother’s disapproval, and Iwaizumi is certain he still has what it takes—if he could do it as a child, he can do it as a young adult.

“You’re gonna fall,” Oikawa comments nonchalantly as Iwaizumi makes his way up. “You’re gonna step on a loose vine and plunge four meters down.”

“You always see me as an incompetent weakling, it hurts a bit,” Iwaizumi made an exaggerated frown as he pushes this upper body through the window. Oikawa scoffs. Iwaizumi got his legs in and climbs through, but instead of directly entering he paused by the windowsill with his legs in crouching position and one arm holding the frame for balance—because falling would most definitely ruin his attempt to make a romantic gesture.

“I didn’t hear from you for three whole days, it hurts a bit,” Oikawa replies, both hands folded across his chest.

Iwaizumi lets out a defeated laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Things got complicated and I lost track of time, forgive me, please?”

Oikawa huffs and turns his back. Iwaizumi enters the room.

“Where were you anyways,” Oikawa mutters with his back still facing Iwaizumi.

“Annoying shogunate and reigning family stuff.” Iwaizumi walks towards Oikawa.

“With Hideaki? Because I haven’t seen him either.”

“Yes, with Hide-niisan.” Iwaizumi now stands one step behind Oikawa. “I got you peaches from the royal orchard.”

“You can’t buy my forgiveness with peaches.”

“Juicy, sweet, specially-harvested-for-the-Emperor-and-the-reigning-family peaches,” Iwaizumi corrects. He braves himself to wrap both arms along Oikawa’s waist. Fortunately, Oikawa is not standing upright thus allowing Iwaizumi to rest his chin on Oikawa’s shoulder—without needing to tiptoe.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi coos. He lands a gentle kiss on Oikawa’s neck. “Let me make it up to you, hm?”

Iwaizumi continues kissing a trail down Oikawa’s shoulder, earning a shiver from the gesture.

“Do you remember that hill we went to as kids? It’s been ages since we were last there even though it’s only a twenty minute walk from here.”

There is a reason why they never go there again.

“Because we got the scolding of our life and promised we’d never go there again.”

And that reason being the time Hajime and Tooru fell asleep while stargazing leading to a search party under Oikawa-sensei and Hikari’s orders.

“Right, your father almost lost his mind.”

“And your sister was pale as a ghost,” Oikawa adds.

They chuckled at the memory in unison.

“Let’s go there,” Iwaizumi takes Oikawa’s hands into his and brushes the tip of his nose to Oikawa’s cheek. “It’s a nice warm summer evening and the skies are clear. We can bring some snacks and that map of stars your sailor uncle gave you for your birthday.”

Oikawa hums an ambiguous hum, leading Iwaizumi to plant more kisses along Oikawa’s neck.

“You just want to do me outdoors.”

“You’ve came up with far worse ideas before, don’t treat me like a pervert!” Iwaizumi says a bit too fast, his face immediately red at Oikawa’s words.

“Am I wrong though?”

It took a few seconds until Iwaizumi answers under his breath, “No.”

Oikawa chuckles in victory and turns to properly face his lover. He cups Iwaizumi’s face and finally lets out a smile, a warm and loving smile, one that Iwaizumi takes pride knowing that it is his and his alone.

“That’s admittingly tempting, love, but my father’s on call in the castle and my mother is visiting some relatives in the country side so somebody’s got to watch over the mansion,” Oikawa then moves closer until he is just beside Iwaizumi’s ear. “But you know, for once we won’t have to worry about being too loud.”

“If only you said that sooner, I wouldn’t have climbed through the window.”

“I like watching you try so hard to get a piece of this fine ass.”

“For heaven’s sake Oikawa, you’re from a noble family. Where did you learn such crude language?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do want to know,” Iwaizumi says, exaggerating a frown. “You’re going out with a member of the reigning family, dear, I would appreciate it if you behave more… appropriate.”

“Climbing through a window for sex isn’t exactly an appropriate behaviour, is it, _your highness_?"

“You,” Iwaizumi grumbles in defeat. A smile is present on his lips as he cups Oikawa’s face—a wide grin on his. “I really can’t win against you huh.”

“Never,” Oikawa chuckles. “And we both know that’s one of the reasons you fell for me.”

 _True_.

They kiss. Deep, long, passionate and yearning. The bag of superior peaches slip from Iwaizumi’s shoulders following the sudden gesture, but neither of them took interest. While Oikawa sweeps his fingers along Iwaizumi’s nape, Iwaizumi takes the liberty to push Oikawa until his back is pressed onto a wall. With his legs open at waist length, Iwaizumi positions himself right in between and eliminating any distance between them whatsoever. After a while Iwaizumi grabs both Oikawa’s hands and holds them against the wall, up above their heads and with their bodies pressed as is, Oikawa has no choice but to accept wherever Iwaizumi’s lips land, whatever he bites, whenever he grinds their growing arousal together.

“Let me love you tonight,” Iwaizumi breathes out so dangerously close to Oikawa’s ear. “All of you—the entirety of you. Let me appreciate every inch of your being and praise the beauty that forms you.”

Oikawa hums at the words, slightly drops at the gesture and bashfully admits that he’s swept off his feet at Iwaizumi’s words. But the following second Oikawa shoves Iwaizumi away an arm’s length. He frantically looks for signs of disapproval, though he found none. Iwaizumi found nothing more than a gentle look from his lover, with a hint of barely contained lust.

“No, let _me_  love you tonight,” Oikawa said. He carefully pushes Iwaizumi back. One step, two steps, steady steps until the back of Iwaizumi’s knees hit the bed and they stumble on top of each other.

“You seem exhausted,” Oikawa noted in heavy whisper. “Let me make you forget whatever it is you have to do for the shogunate.”

Oikawa’s back arches as he leans for a kiss while sitting on top of Iwaizumi.

“But I want to hold you,” Iwaizumi grunts as they part their faces to catch their breath.

Oikawa looks down, directly into Iwaizumi’s gaze as his hands guide Iwaizumi’s to his hips. “Of course, hold me so I don’t fall when I ride you.”

 _Fuck_ , Iwaizumi cursed under his breath, just loud enough to give Oikawa a hint of the building tension. _Fuck_ —Iwaizumi would have cursed more if only Oikawa hadn’t moved up and caught their lips together, his back arches as he leans over while positioning his hips down on Iwaizumi’s aching member.

The final blow came as Oikawa said, “Be good now.”

For the gazillionth time in his life, Iwaizumi wonders what he ever did to deserve Oikawa.

 

 ****London, 1840** ** ****/ Hajime, Tooru (27)** **

It felt like a dream. Iwaizumi would have thought it was another one of his pitiful dreams if only Oikawa’s tired, breathless figure isn’t laying by his side. Oikawa’s arm drapes over Iwaizumi’s chest while his face is hidden somewhere in the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck. Hajime can feel the hot air of every breath Oikawa takes, tickling against his skin. Iwaizumi has their unclothed legs intertwined and tangled between the sheets. Oikawa’s scent filled the air Iwaizumi breathes—a mixture of sweat, sex and Iwaizumi’s hair wash.

“Are you alright?” Iwaizumi dares himself to break the silence.

Oikawa hums and nods. His throat must hurt. Well, remembering the stunt he pulled off, it would be a miracle if it __didn’t__  hurt.

“Do you need anything?” Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa shakes his head. And after a few seconds, he said, “Just let me feel you a bit longer.”

Iwaizumi lowers his chin to land a kiss on the crown of Oikawa’s head, though Iwaizumi admits, he does so because he isn’t sure how to respond.

“Your kisses are exactly how I remembered them,” Oikawa says slowly and slightly lifts his face for a peek.

Iwaizumi stayed true to his words; he kissed Oikawa where he wants him to—everywhere. From Oikawa’s lips to his cheeks, his eyebrows and his forehead. Iwaizumi kissed every finger and every knuckle, both knees and each toes. Iwaizumi kissed a trail down Oikawa’s chest, his nipples and his navel even down to his member, all an effort to please Oikawa and to get them both hard again, even though they’ve been going on and on and on through the night, as if trying to make amends to the seven years they were apart.

Oikawa then gathers the bravery to properly look up and meet Iwaizumi’s eyes, “And the way you held me, touched me, made love to me—it didn’t feel like you wanted to let me go.”

_Because I don’t._

“It felt like you’ve been hurting the past seven years, much like I did.”

_Because I am._

“So why, Hajime?” Oikawa looks to his side, tearing their gaze apart. “Why—and how could you do this to us?”

Iwaizumi didn’t immediately answer. Or, to be more precise, he couldn’t. He always knew this conversation would come and he mentally prepared himself for it. Though it seems that the time he spent anxiously preparing was for nothing.

“I love you, Tooru,” Iwaizumi breathes out. He reached out for the side of Oikawa’s face, silently thanking the gods that the other man doesn’t back out, and lets himself feel the skin underneath as he says, “I love you dearly, wholeheartedly, and among all, selfishly.”

Iwaizumi unconsciously bit his lower lip. He reached out for the side of Oikawa’s face, silently thanking the gods that the other man doesn’t back out, and lets himself feel the skin underneath as he says, “There is something you need to know.”

And with that, Oikawa looks up in both curiosity, relief for finally getting the answers he’s been looking for, and at the same time scared of what to come.

“Do you remember that night, seven years ago, when I was suddenly called to face the Shogun?” Iwaizumi starts painfully slow. “It was a week before an important round up with our neighboring kingdoms, including the north-eastern kingdom.”

“The one with the failed coalition,” Oikawa recalls. His gaze turned cold for a split second as he says, “You disappeared shortly after that.”

“Yes,” Iwaizumi affirms heavily. “Yes, that one.”

He moves his hand to swipe Oikawa’s hair, feeling the need to touch him while he has the chance—because who knows when he’ll ever get this opportunity again.

“I never told you why I stopped talking to Hideaki, didn’t I?” Oikawa shakes his head and it was Iwaizumi’s signal to continue, albeit heavily, “Well, you see... it had something to do with my sister.”

“Hikari?”

Iwaizumi nods. “The valiant Iwaizumi Hikari. She’s a national hero, if you asked me.”

She’s Hajime’s hero, that much Oikawa knows for certain.

“Tooru, I—” Iwaizumi unconsciously paused, “I would never leave Edo—leave you, if I didn’t have to.”

“Hajime,” Oikawa takes Iwaizumi’s trebling hands into his own. “What is it you are trying to tell me?”

Feeling Oikawa’s hold giving him strength, Iwaizumi continues heavily, “I would never leave Edo—leave you, if it wasn't because of my father.”

Oikawa’s eyes slightly widen, not dramatic but just enough for Iwaizumi to catch.

“My sister,” Iwaizumi says ever so timidly. “Hikari, she—her marriage was arranged.”

Oikawa’s surprised reaction is now clear as daylight.

“She was used for a fucking military strategy,” Iwaizumi said, his voice now louder with traces of anger. “Our coalition with the western kingdom—that was her. That’s the true purpose of her marriage.”

Oikawa nearly pulled away, but Iwaizumi is clinging hard onto him. They were close enough for Iwaizumi to hear a gasp of disbelief escaping from Oikawa.

“Our sister was traded off, but Hideaki did nothing,” Iwaizumi grits. “He was too scared.”

Oikawa unconsciously puts an arm around Iwaizumi, holding him as if he could crumble any second.

“Hideaki could have said something, done something. Father listens to him, unlike me and Hikari. I asked him, begged him to convince father otherwise. He was the only person who stood a chance against the shogun... but he—he was too afraid to go against the Shogun.”

Even after many years, Iwaizumi still cannot get himself to talk of this without feeling rage.

“I know, I understand even, the pressure he felt back then. But still—” Iwaizumi nearly choked at his words, “But I still can’t get myself to fully forgive Hide-niisan.”

Oikawa hugs him tighter, his hands carefully running back and forth on Iwaizumi’s back.

“I understand the whole concept of protecting the kingdom and whatnot. But I strongly believe, as humans, there is a line that we should never ever cross,” Iwaizumi continues. “My father, unfortunately, does not believe in such thing.”

There is a pause. Iwaizumi did his best to keep himself from shedding tears and Oikawa contemplates his choice of words for a response.

“I’m so sorry,” Oikawa whispers. He knows how important Hikari is to Hajime. She was the closest thing he had to a mother, especially after his grandmother passed away. Now Oikawa felt stupid. He was sincerely happy for Hikari when the announcement came, and to be fair, the western kingdom’s emperor does seem to genuinely care for her. But does that even have meaning if it was forced against one’s will?

“Hajime, I am... deeply sorry, it must have been hard on you.” Oikawa shifts to his side and reaches a hand to Iwaizumi’s cheek. He used his thumb to carefully caress the side until Iwaizumi places his hand on top of Oikawa’s and keeps it there.

“That’s broadly speaking the reason why I hate my father and avoid talking to my brother,” Iwaizumi unexpectedly continues. Oikawa’s eyes widen in disbelief, as if he is silently wondering why there is more to the story. Iwaizumi felt uneasy and now with Oikawa facing him, the words he wanted to convey seem impossible to voice. “That wasn't enough to get me to leave Edo. To exile myself, to abandon you.”

Oikawa is smart—correction, he’s _very_ smart. Given the back story Iwaizumi provided, without doubt he already has the dots connected to predict what comes next.

“No,” the words Oikawa whispered shows that he already has a general idea. “Please, tell me it isn’t what I think it is.”

Iwaizumi looks away.

“H-hajime, gods no,” Oikawa’s voice cracked.

To Oikawa’s disappointment, Iwaizumi nods.

“My father, the Shogun, ordered an arranged marriage between me and a princess from the north-eastern kingdom.” As if that wasn’t hurtful enough, Iwaizumi adds, “Even worse, he used you and Sensei as bargaining chips.”

Iwaizumi saw the change of light in Oikawa’s eyes, the mixture of betrayal, anger and confusion that show as he tries to logically process the words he just heard.

 

 ****Edo, 1833** ** ****, three days earlier** ** ****/ Hajime (20)** **

Only now Iwaizumi realized there is another reason why he almost never refers the Shogun as his father, and it is the unbelievably cold and distant feeling the head of the nation gives. It must have been beneficial for governmental issues, like dealing with foreign country leaders and such, but Iwaizumi wonders if it was necessary to uphold when in the presence of his own son. Oikawa is a governmental officer more or less, and Hideaki without doubt, however neither of them strikes Iwaizumi as intimidating.

“How much do you know of the issue between us and the north-eastern kingdom?” the Shogun asked.

“Not as much as I should, your highness,” Iwaizumi answers truthfully. “There is a diplomatic event with leaders from surrounding countries, I do know that the north-eastern kingdom’s emperor is due to attend.”

“Yes, he is. It should be basic knowledge within castle walls, but that much coming from the likes of you, I guess it’s something.” The words sent chills down Iwaizumi’s spine.

“The solution you mentioned earlier, sire, will it be presented at the meeting?” Iwaizumi braves himself to ask.

“Obviously,” the Shogun takes his seat in the throne and gestures Iwaizumi to do the same. “I just need to set my cards right.”

Iwaizumi does _not_  like where the conversation is heading.

“Hajime, my son.”

He’s heard this before.

“The youngest of the Iwaizumi main family.”

He’s heard the exact same words before, but aimed at a different person.

“You lack in many different ways, but who would have thought, you ended up being the one to end this political tension.”

No, no, please gods, no.

 

*

 

Iwaizumi froze for the most part. His father’s request is one reason, the other being a resurfacing childhood trauma. _You are to marry into their royal family and with that, a coalition between our two nations is guaranteed._  Iwaizumi felt indescribable anger upon hearing those words aimed towards his dear sister, and he felt immense fear hearing it now meant for him. The Shogun carried on describing the princess he’s supposed to marry and throws in a couple side information regarding the north-eastern kingdom’s military and political power. But everything came as a blur and Iwaizumi felt himself zoning further away.

“I can’t do it,” Iwaizumi mutters.

“I’m sorry?”

“I said I can’t do it!” Iwaizumi declared, this time vocal. It startled both him and the Shogun, though for different reasons. The Shogun is more surprised that his youngest son has the guts to rise his voice, while Iwaizumi is startled upon realizing that his body is reacting to the anxiety.

“You may elaborate,” the Shogun orders simply.

Iwaizumi roughly breathes and forcefully stops himself from fidgeting. Luckily, he manages to give his father a serious stare. “For one, your highness, I barely know the princess.”

Iwaizumi stands from his seat, feeling the need to show his stance, “Secondly, marriage is something that needs to be done with consideration.”

The Shogun slightly tilts his head as if challenging Iwaizumi to continue.

“Lastly, I refuse to be treated like chess pawns,” Iwaizumi says in a surprisingly stern voice tone. He stood straight, finally regaining his composure after the blow. “I will not be treated this way.”

The Shogun stands from his throne and Iwaizumi almost took a step back. “You refuse, hm.”

“Yes,” Iwaizumi confirms and swallowed an empty lump in his throat.

“We are the reigning clan’s main family and this nation is facing a potential crisis,” the Shogun takes slow, steady steps approaching where Iwaizumi stands and Hajime swore he can feel the atmosphere surrounding him became colder, “Where is your sense of responsibility, Hajime?”

“I’m sure there are other ways to work through our issue with the north-eastern kingdom, your highness,” Iwaizumi finally took a step back out of intimidation.

“You think so,” the Shogun is now an arm’s length away from him. “Like what, Hajime, enlighten me.”

“I—” Iwaizumi tripped at his own words, “I’m not one to say, Shogun-sama. But you have a handful of capable strategists, our nation’s finest! Even my brother, Hideaki, surely can come up with something. You taught him well, sire—”

“Hideaki,” it almost came as a scoff from the Shogun. “Are you sure he’d suggest anything different? I don’t recall him disagreeing the last time we were faced a similar situation.”

Right, the last time something like this happened was when Hikari was forced into her arranged marriage—and Hideaki did nothing to stop it. Hajime used to think it was mere cowardice, though now he’s seen—felt, how intimidating their father can be, the fear he imposes to his surrounding. Now, Hajime understood the helplessness, the fear, the intimidation his brother suffered back then.

“Yes, I’m certain,” Iwaizumi miraculously found his voice. “Me marrying into the north-eastern kingdom’s royal family may be the fastest solution, but you know for sure Hideaki will be against it. That’s why he’s not present, that’s exactly why you summoned me alone even though you strive to get my brother involved in every governmental issue—because you know this time he’ll disagree. You know with certainty that Hideaki is not the scared young prince like he was back then.”

The Shogun’s eyes show displease, and that’s how Iwaizumi knows his words hit bull’s eye. “I see you still hide behind people’s backs when facing conflict.”

 _You’re a disgrace,_ is what his father would usually say. But he didn’t, and that was enough to signal Iwaizumi how much the Shogun needs this marriage to happen.

“I’m standing for myself today,” Iwaizumi announced. “I won’t do this, father, and that’s final.”

“Really,” the Shogun comments nonchalantly.

“Definite.”

“You won’t do it for the sake of your country?”

“There are other ways, sire, other humane ways to handle a conflict,” Iwaizumi grits.

“Very well,” the Shogun notes unexpectedly. However, it didn’t bring relief whatsoever. “If you won’t do it for the country’s sake, how about doing it for that guard you’re fond of?”

How. How. Just _how_ did the Shogun find out.

“Gorgeous young thing, I must admit. You have good taste, Hajime.”

Stop. Stop. Please, stop this.

“Oh, you thought I didn’t know,” the Shogun says in a creepily lighthearted way. “This is my castle, Hajime, I have eyes and ears everywhere.”

Figures.

“He’s quite the fearless one, isn’t he? Like your brother now, and your sister back then. You really are surrounded by strong willed people,” the Shogun says. “You may have learned how to talk back, but you certainly haven’t outgrown your naivety.”

Iwaizumi looks away, which probably is a mistake because it only emphasizes his crumbling composure upon hearing what could only be Oikawa.

“Tell me, Hajime, is he the reason you dare to object me?” the Shogun asks. He takes a step closer with his sharp gaze piercing through.

“Any human being with proper morals won’t even think of forcing their children to an arranged marriage,” Iwaizumi hissed.

“I take that as a yes.”

“Why are you like this,” Iwaizumi says under his breath. Then he looks up to meet the Shogun’s eyes, disgust written all over as he screams, “Why the hell are you like this?!”

The Shogun, however, only raised an eyebrow as a response.

“How could you trade off your own children?!” Iwazumi yelled. “First was Hikari, now me, and god knows what kind of mental abuse you pose on Hideaki—”

“Regarding your sister,” the Shogun says calmly. “It was her choice.”

“You didn’t gave her any other choice!” Iwaizumi screams, almost in agony. “You keep saying that it was her decision, but no! You drove her to that corner! Hikari was an honorary member of the court, a strategist in the central forces. She had so much potential and you robbed her of that opportunity! She handled an uprising by herself and that is how you treat her?! By using her in one of your military strategies!”

“She knew what was at sake,” the Shogun says, this time with held-back anger. “Unlike you.”

“I can’t believe you,” Iwaizumi said in disgust. “I can’t believe—” _that you are the person Oikawa pledges his loyalty to._

The Shogun lets out a harsh exhale and looks down on Iwaizumi with disgust. “You are wasting my time.”

Then he turns and walks back to his throne. With his back still facing Iwaizumi, he says, “And this was never a discussion to begin with. My decision is final.”

Iwaizumi takes one step forward. Just one, but enough to symbolize his stance in the matter. His fists clenched as he responds, “Over my dead body.”

“I took counter-measurements Hajime, I knew you’d be a pain to work with compared to your siblings. You always were,” the Shogun drops himself back down to his throne. “There’s no point in sugar coating so let’s get this sorted out.”

The Shogun casually goes through the parchment paper by his side and continues without even sparing Hajime a glance, “You are to marry into the north-eastern kingdom’s royal family and secure the military coalition. It will be announced at next week’s assembly, thus turning a potential enemy into an ally.”

Then the Shogun throws him a cold glance, “You will not suffer any consequences by refusing to do so. However, that won’t be the case for the Oikawa household.”

Iwaizumi felt as if a hole has been punctured through his chest.

“They’re a small clan to begin with and originally from the countryside too, most of their governed land is located near Aobayama. The only reason they’re in Edo is for the head of clan to accommodate his work in medicine. The clan lacks bloodline successors,” the Shogun now sets his parchment paper aside to look into Iwaizumi’s eyes, as if challenging him. “And seeing your involvement with their main family’s only issue -that guard- I’m guessing the next head of clan will be from the side family. Huh, driving them away from Edo and stripping them of their nobility is just too easy, it’s like a joke.”

 _Not all clans cherish power as much as ours do _,__ is what Iwaizumi wanted to say, but he has more important notions to put into light.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi says with anger thick in his voice, “That guard’s name is Oikawa Tooru, and he is more than just a guard. He’s a squadron captain in the imperial royal guards, the elite force formed especially for you and this castle’s safety. He’s the youngest master swordsman in this country. He is the son of the court physician, the man who is now looking over your well being. So yes, the Oikawa clan is indeed small in number and weak in comparison to the average clans in Edo. But you owe them your life, you owe Oikawa Toshirou your health and Oikawa Tooru your safety. And you’re willing to ruin their lives, banish them, ridicule them, exile them from Edo just to get back at me?”

“It doesn’t have to happen, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi is at loss of words.

“Think it through,” the Shogun leans back in his seat. “You’ll see things clearer by morning.”

“No,” Iwaizumi said in disgust. “No, I can see things clear enough now. This is outrageous!”

“There’s something that’s been bugging me, Hajime,” the Shogun notes curiously. “What on earth did he do to have you on a leash like this?”

Iwaizumi is taken aback at the remark.

“Is it the sex? I mean, you’re currently in that awakening age, I don’t blame you for indulging your lust. But is this amount of loyalty really necessary?”

“I _beg_ your pardon?” Iwaizumi could barely voice as he is shocked at the statement.

“Well he is pleasant to look at, and I suppose that’s a deciding factor to who you spend the night with. You say he’s a master swordsman, but that doesn’t really matter behind closed doors,” the Shogun even rubs his chin as he makes guesses. “I wonder, are you simply settling for the easiest option available or are you just _that_  good? Because I can’t imagine anyone getting close to a naive boy like you without ulterior motives. You two have been seeing each other for what, two years already?”

_It’s three years now._

“Even I don’t keep my mistresses that long.”

“He’d give his life to protect you, and this is how you put him into words? Tooru is not a prostitute!” Iwaizumi felt sick with disgust.

“A courtesan would be the proper noun for it, seeing that you’re from a much higher social class than he is,” the Shogun corrects. He tilts his head a bit to the side, curiosity still filling his eyes, “So what is it, Hajime? What’s your deal with this… Tooru of yours.”

“It’s called love.” Declaring his love is probably not the wisest thing to do. But there is very little Hajime could do to hold himself back, not after having his teacher, his lover, and himself ridiculed. “I believe it’s something you’ve never heard of.”

The Shogun chuckles and after a few seconds, laughed. “Sure, keep telling yourself that. It’s simple logic, Hajime. He’s pretty, you’re gullible. He’s a tactician, you’re from a powerful clan. Had you paid attention to history lessons, you’ll know this is exactly how dynasties fall.”

The Shogun regains his composure and sits up straight on his throne, the look on his eyes as sharp and threatening as ever. “So, Hajime, you will either be the one to stop a war before it even began, or you will the reason to the Oikawa clan’s banishment from the country.”

“You’re a monster,” Hajime hissed.

“One that capable of protecting this nation,” the Shogun takes the insult, as if it is something to be proud of.

 

****London, 1840 / Hajime, Tooru (27)** **

The few minutes of silence that followed was both the longest and most uncomfortable Iwaizumi has been through while being in Oikawa’s company.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi nearly whimpered. “Tooru, I’m so—so sorry.”

 _For what_ , would be the appropriate question.

Oikawa is upset, obviously, but at whom, he cannot decide. At himself, probably, for once thinking that Iwaizumi was low enough to run off with some skank from Yoshiwara. But then again, the reason why he had such ill thoughts is because Iwaizumi left wordlessly. A small note couldn’t possibly hurt, right? Even when it does, Hideaki could have at least hinted something. But no, knowing Hideaki’s involvement in the escape means that everything is well thought of, especially when the person they’re trying to deceive is their own father who has eyes and ears in every corner of their castle. Iwaizumi leaving without notice was best for all of them, for Hideaki’s sake as well.

So is Oikawa angered at the Shogun for proposing the arranged marriage to begin with?

This is where Oikawa’s principle as strategist is tested against his humanity values. Oikawa remembers well how the diplomatic relations between them and the north-eastern kingdom detoriate. From a political point of view, merging their military forces will offer them a good chance of repairing the tension. The aftermath of the failed coalition is even more visible now, seven years later, proven by the constant attacks along their north-eastern border and the assassination attempts on the Iwaizumi clan. Same for the case with their western border. Oikawa, reluctantly, admits that Hikari marrying into the royal family brought stability that lasted even until now. But as Iwaizumi said, there are lines one should never cross.

“I had the opportunity. I was given the power to end the tension we have with the north-eastern kingdom. The upcoming war we’re facing today, I could have stopped it—but it came with the price of breaking your heart, and that is not something I’m willing to pay. Nothing is worth breaking your heart,” Iwaizumi said mindlessly. At this point Oikawa has his face pressed onto Iwaizumi’s chest, as if it could hide him from bitter truth. “I told you before, Tooru, my love for you is selfish. I was given a choice, the kingdom or the love of my life—”

“And you chose me,” Oikawa barely whispered.

“I’ll always choose you,” Iwaizumi confirms. He felt his face hot and his chest pounding like crazy. He felt the anger from that day resurfacing as he unconsciously hugs Oikawa tighter. “Does that bother you, Tooru?”

It should. His unforgiving loyalty, the rawness of his emotions--being at the receiving end of it terrified Oikawa to some extent. It should bother him, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t because now Oikawa sees, this distorted thing they share, maybe this is their very own version of what love is.

“Say something, Tooru,” Iwaizumi pleads, the silence became too much to bear.

Oikawa can’t. There is too much going on in his mind. So instead, Oikawa caresses the side of Iwaizumi’s cheek and pulls their faces closer until their foreheads touch, like how Oikawa always does when either of them needed the intimacy. Iwaizumi sighed at the touch, he didn’t realize how much he needed it—he forgot how Oikawa, despite not having medical ability like his father, has the power to soothe Iwaizumi’s tired soul.

“Do you despise me now?” Iwaizumi asked. He knows, with absolute certainty, that Oikawa is loyal to the country. Iwaizumi has long accepted the fact that he’ll never be Oikawa’s number one priority, that’s the cost of loving a warrior. And the way he jeopardized the kingdom’s future for his foolish love, Oikawa might not approve.

“I should, but I don’t,” Oikawa admits slowly. He lifts his face up and have their gaze meet. “In fact I feel relieved, for some reason.”

Oikawa got the closure he’s been longing for, that’s for one.

“You chose me over the country,” Oikawa said in disbelief. He reached one hand to the side of Iwaizumi’s face, “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

 _All is fair in love and war_ , that’s how the proverb goes and coincidentally, they’re facing both. Iwaizumi kept in mind to tell Oikawa that. But for now, he really needs to capture Oikawa’s lips into his kiss again, as if he hasn’t showered him with them the whole night.

 

 ****Edo, 1833 / Hajime,** ** ****Tooru** ** ****(20)** **

Beauty is subjective, but Oikawa Tooru is without doubt the kind of person most will agree that the word applies to. Especially now, when he is lying on his side with moonlight basking the curvature of his neckline, shoulder blade, waist and hips. His lips part slightly as he is still trying to regulate his breathing. His eyes flutter and his consciousness cannot decide whether to stay awake or just give in.

“Are you alright?” Iwaizumi asked. He earned a weak nod. Iwaizumi then runs the palm of his hand up Oikawa’s legs from under the blanket. The skin felt warm and somewhat sticky, Iwaizumi had to hold himself back from yanking the blanket off to get an undisturbed view of the kiss marks he left around Oikawa’s inner thigh. Oikawa shivered at the affectionate touch, hinting the oversensitivity that is still dominating his pleasured nerves. Iwaizumi faces down to bury his nose in the frills of Oikawa’s hair, nuzzling the top of his head as he asks, “Are you sore?”

“I’m a big boy, I can take it.”

“You _are_ sore,” Iwaizumi concludes.

Oikawa lets out a soft laugh as Iwaizumi runs his hand up and down Oikawa’s lower back. A hiss escaped when Iwaizumi pressed a tense muscle and Iwaizumi reacts accordingly by adjusting his massage. Oikawa looks up to meet Iwaizumi’s eyes. The only source of lighting is the full moon basking through the window of his bedroom, but it is enough for Oikawa to capture the soft expression on Iwaizumi’s face as opposed to his usual stern demeanor.

“Hajime,” Oikawa calls softly, “What happened?”

_Ah, Oikawa, always one to read between the lines._

“You look like you have a lot in mind. Tell me, I might be able to help.”

_No, honey, you’re part of the problem._

“Later,” Iwaizumi mutters. He moves closer to feel more of Oikawa under his hold. “Maybe later. Right now I just want to hold you.”

Oikawa giggles, throaty and oddly sweet. “Then stay the night, alright? I’ll make you breakfast, that should cheer you up.”

_Gods I love him._

“You’re very confident for someone with average cooking skills,” Iwaizumi says on a playful tone.

“You like my average cooking, admit it.”

_Yes, I do. In fact, I like everything about you. The physical features that shape you, the personality that defines you, the flaws that make you human, your everything._

“You really should work on those egg rolls though, they’re rubbery.”

“Mean.”

Iwaizumi chuckles and combs his fingers along Oikawa’s hair. Oikawa hums and mewls at the touch and to think that this man is a captain of imperial royal guards.

“Sorry love, I have a really early start tomorrow,” Iwaizumi says apologetically.

Though Iwaizumi starts to untangle himself from the sheets, Oikawa buries himself deeper into Iwaizumi’s hold. He purrs and ignores Iwaizumi’s attempt to get away. Oikawa then wraps his arms around Iwaizumi, complementing the latter’s hands that are on his lower waist. He slides one leg in between Iwaizumi’s and playfully locks him in place, exactly where Oikawa wants the prince to be. It wasn’t even a powerful hold, if anything, Oikawa is exhausted after a long day at work and a whole night of loving.

“Fine, I’ll stay,” Iwaizumi gives in.

“I wasn’t letting you go anyways,” Oikawa says with a victorious grin.

The look on Oikawa’s face is one that’s somewhere between lovely and sinfully seductive. His cheeks are glowing red, lips swollen and glistening from saliva -both Iwaizumi’s and his own- and his eyes are half-lidded and hazy. Iwaizumi pulls the bed sheet over their pressed bodies and drags his hand upward Oikawa’s bare back until it rests on the back of his head, fingers buried in between his light brown locks.

“I love you, Tooru.”

 _You’re awfully lovey-dovey today_ , is the response Iwaizumi expected to hear. However, it is as if the universe wants to pierce through his aching heart further deep as Oikawa replies in heavy whisper, “Love you more, Hajime.”

It didn’t take long until Oikawa is deep in sleep. His breath is audible through the silent night and warm against Iwaizumi’s chest. Iwaizumi hopes Oikawa is already fast asleep, because he doesn’t want him to hear the rapid heartbeat in his chest as Iwaizumi is forced down from cloud nine and reminded of his situation. He is reminded of the awful words the Shogun used to describe their relationship, to degrade a loyal captain of the guards who would lay his life to protect the nation leader and his family, to dishonor a man of nobility—and one who is not just born with the title, but also deserves the recognition. Iwaizumi is reminded of the threat the Shogun brought upon his lover, his teacher and who knows how many more people he cares for.

So, with Oikawa sleeping sound in his arms, feeling his breath warm against his bare chest, Iwaizumi came to a hurtful decision.

 

 ****Edo, 1833** ** ****, the morning after** ** ****/ Hajime (20), Hideaki (25)** **

Oikawa had promised him breakfast, but seeing that he’s still drowsy and tangled in sheets Iwaizumi would have to pass. He did take his time to wash up, change and clean up their mess from last night. He couldn’t change the sheets while Oikawa’s still in bed, but he did at least wiped him clean with a wash cloth and warm water. Iwaizumi tucked him in and lets his boyfriend get another few hours of sleep before starting the day. He stole a kiss and playfully pokes his cheek before stepping away. Hajime leans at the door threshold and promises to himself that nothing, no one, not even the Shogun will lay a finger on the man that owns his heart, body and soul.

With that resolve Hajime walks steady steps back to the imperial palace. He avoids the morning market and makes way through the court yard. He walks past his chambers, then his sister’s old room, all the way to the salon which he usually avoids at this time of the morning. Because Hideaki is there, having breakfast at the exact same time each day of the week before heading to attend the court or whatever diplomatic matter waiting for him. However today, Hajime goes in knowing Hideaki will be there and at the same time, Hideaki is expecting his younger brother to show up.

“Have you made up your mind?”

Iwaizumi didn’t immediately answer and when he does it only came as a mere whisper, “I love him.”

“That does not answer my question, Hajime, I’ll ask again. Have you come to a decision?” For once Hideaki’s words came as cold, flat and strictly business-like which reminded Iwaizumi of their father the Shogun. Iwaizumi has been denying his ancestry for so long that he forgot his brother, warm and kind as he is, is still a decisive player in their nation’s politics. Hideaki sure grew since the last they faced such conflict—since the time they witnessed their sister being traded off.

“Hajime,” Hideaki says now with a less stern intonation. “Hajime, whatever you decide, I will see it through.”

To see through. That’s the kanji meaning to Tooru’s name.

“I want to keep Tooru and Sensei safe at all cost.”

Hideaki takes a deep inhale upon hearing Hajime’s words, then he nods in understanding.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Woohoo, Hajime’s backstory! But buckle up guys, I’m not done _yet_. Let’s not forget that things were difficult for Tooru as well..
> 
> -So yeah, this part got postponed for quite some time because I couldn’t figure out the conversation between Hajime and the Shogun. I swear, writing villains are harder than heroes.
> 
> -Per definition, a courtesan is a prostitute with a wealthy or upper-class clientele.
> 
> -To make things clear, Hajime told Tooru everything. From the arranged marriage, his refusal, to the Shogun’s threat. Although Iwaizumi did leave out the part where the Shogun degraded Oikawa as if he had ulterior motives or just in it for the sex, because it was too hurtful and Iwaizumi decides to keep those details to himself.
> 
> -See I originally wanted this to be one chapter only to highlight the polar difference between the last time they slept together (before Hajime made the decision to leave Edo) and when they finally gave in to the tension in London. I think it would make a beautiful contrast to the twists and turns of their relationship, but alas, I went way to long.
> 
> -Did I mention that we’re getting Tooru’s backstory next? /laughs diabolically/


End file.
